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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 16 to 40 of 76. Go back in thread:
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:34:56
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by Phillipa on November 13, 2010, at 10:15:36
> Didn't you stop taking part of your cocktail?Phillipa
Yes, I stopped the Nortriptaline about a month or so ago. Do you think it's from that? I guess that is possible. I never even thought of it. Good point Phillipa. I know the pain increased A LOT when I came off the Nortrip. but I never paid attention as to whether or not my depression was getting worse. But maybe my depression got worse because of the pain? I feel like I am going around in circles. It's like the chicken and the egg?
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:37:41
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by ed_uk2010 on November 13, 2010, at 10:39:02
Ed, I have to make an appt. to see pdoc. Usually I see him on Fridays when I can because that is my day off. But this coming Friday I am taking all the classes to the US to do some shopping. We will be gone all day. Maybe if I call him he will make an exception and prescribe something without seeing me first.
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:47:28
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2010, at 14:22:11
Hi FB, I like your idea of lodging a complaint with Monty Pythons Department of Complaint. You made me laugh actually. I love when people make reference to Monty Python.
Yes, I have thought about what PB wrote but I have been on Nardil twice (maybe 3 times) and it just made me comotose and my legs had really bad edema.
I am seriously considering going back to Cymbalta. It helped with the pain. It helped my depression but not as much as Parnate does ... which isn't much really at this point.
Pause. Cry. Suck it up.
I really wish my pdoc would give me more input. But I think he feels at a loss with me. We have tried so many things (many were contraindicated). He has always been supported when I ask him if I can try a certain med. I think he finds it amusing that I come in with a bunch of articles from medical journal to support why I want to try a med.
What I would really to try? Deep brain stimulation. I would rather try that then ECT.
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:53:47
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » maxime, posted by SLS on November 13, 2010, at 15:12:13
Thank you for all that info Scott.
My doctor feels the same way you do. If you are capable of feeling better, even if only for 3 days, it means that you DO have the ability to feel better and that one day you might. He is always very positive when I respond well to a med if only briefly. I don't know if ability is the best word but I can't think of anything else.
Posted by Lou Pilder on November 13, 2010, at 19:08:31
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2010, at 14:22:11
FB,
You wrote,[...Sometimes I think I would have done better being rxxxxx yyyyyy....At least I could shake a zzzz...ten fffff mmmmmm would jjjj mm....].
I am unsure as to what you are wanting to mean here. If you could post answers to the following, then I could have the opportunity to respond accordingly.
A. Why would being jjjjjj put you in the catagory of {at least}?
B. Could you not sssss a ffff at ggg if you were a non-jjj? If so, (redacted by respondent).
C. What is the significance, if any, as to why you wrote about the ten family members?
D. redacted by respondent
Lou
Posted by SLS on November 13, 2010, at 19:23:19
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » floatingbridge, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:47:28
> What I would really to try? Deep brain stimulation. I would rather try that then ECT.
I am still reluctant to be transformed into a cyborg. I am afraid of people drilling into my skull, probing around in my brain, and routing wires into my chest. We'll see how this procedure evolves. Maybe one day...
I am becoming more interested in rTMS (repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation) now that it is showing efficacy in people who have been resistant to drug treatment. There is no guarantee, of course. However, I would rather fail to respond to externally applied magnets first than to be subject to invasive brain surgery.
- Scott
Posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2010, at 20:48:01
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » floatingbridge, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:47:28
Maxime,
rTMS. I'm with SLS on that.
Though I surely have wanted my brain replaced many times....
Are you on a waitlist for rTMS?
Posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2010, at 21:10:16
In reply to Lou's request-photrdhephahm » floatingbridge, posted by Lou Pilder on November 13, 2010, at 19:08:31
Hi Lou,
Good to hear from you. You know, when I wrote that comment about Catholics and Jews, I wasn't sure if it was in good taste. I'm sorry if you or anyone took offense.
The practice of any faith seems to be colored and affected by one's family's
practice. My Catholic family believed that God was an authority beyond question, though if you begged his mom, she might put in a good word.Some years later I came upon a different way of relating to God through mostly Jewish friends. Their families didn't feel
that a disagreement with God would break the relationship.I imagine it is possible that any faith can be practiced that way, with reverence, if one chose.
My post was based on subjective experience and nothing more.
I haven't been feeling too well these days, and so I'm not here very often. I hope this post helps clear up misunderstandings. Oh, and the number ten was rather random. Or wishful thinking. I'm not sure there are ten left.
Best to you, Lou. Hope you are well.
fb
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 22:30:47
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by floatingbridge on November 13, 2010, at 20:48:01
> Maxime,
>
> rTMS. I'm with SLS on that.
>
> Though I surely have wanted my brain replaced many times....
>
> Are you on a waitlist for rTMS?
>I guess you and Scott are right. It's just that I feel so desperate right. SO desperate. My Pdoc was supposed to get info to see if I could get rTMS done at the psych hospital. I think I will send him a email reminder.
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » polarbear206, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 18:25:30
It's amazing how receiving one nasty Babble Mail can set a person off. So much for so many months without cutting. I cut again tonight pretty badly. I am SO TIRED of this sh*t!
Posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:49:14
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
Lou, I posted a question to you in your shop in Faith. I want to get to the New Realm. It sounds like the best to be. If I have to die to get there, so be it. It's where I want to be.
Posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 2:41:35
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
Hey Maxime, this will pass. I know tonight was painful.
All your months still count. They haven't been wasted.
How are you now? When you say badly, do you need medical help?
The crisis centre?
Write tomorrow.
Posted by Lou Pilder on November 14, 2010, at 6:20:32
In reply to To Lou - please go to your shop, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:49:14
> Maxi,
I am on my way there. It will open soon. You do not have to die before you live.
Lou
Lou, I posted a question to you in your shop in Faith. I want to get to the New Realm. It sounds like the best to be. If I have to die to get there, so be it. It's where I want to be.
Posted by ed_uk2010 on November 14, 2010, at 11:15:35
In reply to Lou's request-photrdhephahm » floatingbridge, posted by Lou Pilder on November 13, 2010, at 19:08:31
>You wrote,[...Sometimes I think I would have done better being rxxxxx yyyyyy....At least I could shake a zzzz...ten fffff mmmmmm would jjjj mm....].
Lou, why are you writing in code? Please can you write so that we can understand what you are saying.
Posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 15:36:42
In reply to Re: Lou's request-photrdhephahm » Lou Pilder, posted by ed_uk2010 on November 14, 2010, at 11:15:35
How is the day going for you?
Posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 15:57:43
In reply to Let's go to the shop » Maxime, posted by Lou Pilder on November 14, 2010, at 6:20:32
I'm still waiting and it's getting dark out. I hope you will come soon.
Posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 17:59:41
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by Maxime on November 13, 2010, at 23:14:19
Sundays are always the worst days of the week mood wise for me. Since I have been so down lately, today was almost unbearable. The one thing that kept me going was supportive Babble Mails from people here on the board. Not many about the crap that is on the Social Board right now, but just really caring messages ... and one insanely funny one that caused me to snort with laughter. Yes, I am very lady like.
Tomorrow I work. I hope it will go better than on Saturday when everyone could tell how bad I was feeling. A few of them hugged me after the class. I have to hide how I feel. I should be able to do that since that is how I was brought up. I need to be as professional as possible. I was professional on Saturday but my pain and depression showed through. I just told them I was having an off day. If only they knew.
I'm still really suicidal. Physically I feel like crap today, aches and pains, hot and cold.
I don't want to kill myself around the holidays.
Posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 19:30:47
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 17:59:41
I cut myself last night after receiving Babble Mails from a certain poster. I hadn't cut in a long time. I think I was more upset that I had resorted to cutting than the actual wound itself. Well, it's still bleeding tonight. I cut too deep. I can't take care of it tomorrow because I will be at work.
If I go to the ER now I will be there all night. It really needs to be cleaned and stitched. I guess I will wrap it up and go to the ER after work.
Self injury doesn't go over very well at the ER. They usually make me wait a very, very, very long time. No one in the ER understands why people do these things. I am seen as a parasite. I guess I am.
FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 20:19:49
In reply to FML!!!! *trigger about self injury*, posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 19:30:47
Maxime,
I'm glad you posted tonight, and sorry you feel so much stress to perfom at work. No one will really know tomorrow. Sounds like you work with very kind folks who allow people space to be human, judging by the hugs.
I'm concerned about your wound care,
but don't have any advice :(Isn't someone at the ER trained in psychological issues? Well, you'd hope...
Is the er your only option?
((((*))))
Posted by SLS on November 15, 2010, at 5:26:42
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by Maxime on November 14, 2010, at 17:59:41
> Sundays are always the worst days of the week mood wise for me.
Do you tend to sleep later on Sunday mornings? If so, the disruption of your circadian rhythm (phase delay) can very easily explain your feeling worse that day. The trick is to wake up at your regular time, and stay awake for at least 15 minutes. Subjecting yourself to bright lite during this time might be important, but I am not sure. After being fully awake for 15 minutes, you can then return to bed and wake up late without feeling so bad.
- Scott
Posted by B2Chica on November 15, 2010, at 11:54:11
In reply to Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by maxime on November 12, 2010, at 21:53:57
can you add neurontin for pain? (gabapentin?)
the reason my pdoc put me on that was cuz i was self-medicating with pain meds, and he said gaba works on pain receptors. and is for anxiety.
it is great for me.
i am SO glad to get off the xanax.Best wishes...
ps.. stay away from bridges please.
Posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:42:59
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge? » Maxime, posted by SLS on November 15, 2010, at 5:26:42
Yes Scott, I sleep in on Sundays. It's the only day of the week I can. If I wake up, I won't go back to sleep. Sigh. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. But I will try it this coming Sunday.
Posted by Cydnie on November 15, 2010, at 20:45:02
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by B2Chica on November 15, 2010, at 11:54:11
Oh God,Maxime, please babble chat me if you want, I promise that I believe so much I think I can empathize,and hope so much no one triggers that again. I've been a cutter too, and am also a chronic pain sufferer, but I want to talk about the cutting because this has always been so hard to deal with. You worried me when you wrote you cut deep. Please if you want to babble chat, tell me, and you can share your triggers, I would never want to do that. You are very much not alone, please write on. I'm here, and listening. We're all here. I don't know what the trigger was - I wanted to write to you quickly before my DH comes back. Please write in. Please keep writing!
Posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:45:38
In reply to Re: FML!!!! *trigger about self injury* » Maxime, posted by floatingbridge on November 14, 2010, at 20:19:49
I went to the ER to get my wound looked at. No gory details except to say that I got 15 stitches. The doctor was really nice and didn't make any comments about how I got the wound. Most doctors like to make snide remarks.
It really hurts right now. But I guess I deserve the pain since I did this to myself.
Posted by maxime on November 15, 2010, at 20:47:22
In reply to Re: Why do I feel like jumping off a bridge?, posted by B2Chica on November 15, 2010, at 11:54:11
Hi Chica, I have tried Neurontin twice I think and both times the edema was so bad that I ended up in the hospital for a few days. Same with Lyrica.
I am glad you are off the xanax ;)
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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