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Posted by Lee05 on March 17, 2005, at 13:51:30
In reply to Re: Happy St. Pat's day Lee and sjb, posted by AuntieMel on March 17, 2005, at 12:20:38
> No green beer for you!
>
> {she says as she sits at her desk listening to Irish drinking songs}Thanks--and to you too Auntie Mel. I'm glad you posted today--I'm kind of in dangerous territory, so hearing from you was well-timed. I've found myself in that dangerously complacent place where the addiction tiger can easily convince me I can handle "just one". For me this is much harder patch to get through than those first days. And to add fuel to the fire, I broke up with my boyfriend last night, so that tiger's got a fair bit of ammo to hit me with. So far just drowning my sorrows in coffee, and working hard to keep it that way.
So thanks for the reminder to keep coming back here often, especially right now.
And yes, Happy St. Patty's to everyone out there!
Take care,
Lee
Posted by AuntieMel on March 17, 2005, at 14:47:11
In reply to Re: Happy St. Pat's day Lee and sjb » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on March 17, 2005, at 13:51:30
Interesting timing, indeed!
Last week both of the counselors at the family thing I go to quit. I got an email from one 'best wishes and stay sober'
I emailed her back something like 'so far this year my daughter's been arrested, my bird died and you guys have quit and I haven't slipped yet. I may have been voted "most likely to be a scout" in our group, but. by gosh, if and when I do it it will be on *my* terms, not because of outside influences'
scout: having 'just one' to see if you are really an addict.
hang in there. don't let others' actions dictate what you do. and be prepared that there will be times that you will think you're 'cured' - usually around milestones. I'm coming up on a two year birthday next month and I'm nervous as a cat right now myself.
Posted by Lee05 on March 17, 2005, at 15:14:01
In reply to Re: Happy St. Pat's day Lee and sjb » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on March 17, 2005, at 14:47:11
Thanks Auntie Mel--when's your birthday?
Lee
Posted by AuntieMel on March 18, 2005, at 12:59:07
In reply to Re: Happy St. Pat's day Lee and sjb, posted by Lee05 on March 17, 2005, at 15:14:01
Posted by TamaraJ on March 18, 2005, at 19:57:46
In reply to Re: towards the end of april (nm) » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on March 18, 2005, at 12:59:07
AuntieMel: Our anniversary dates are close - mine is early May (May 5 to be exact). This May I will celebrate 9 years. It seems like yesterday sometimes that I picked up my desire and 1 month chips. I am so weird that I have all of my chips, including the desire chip, in a little change purse that I carry with me at all times. I don't know, it is comforting having them with me.
Lee: I, too, sometimes still get the "I am sure I can handle one drink" thoughts, even as recently as last summer. I, personally, would have to be delusional to think that I could have a drink or two and not end up back in the same drinking pattern I had been in before I stopped. It's funny, though, that when I get those thoughts, I seem to also get hit with a vivid picture of me when I was drinking, and I realize that I so much prefer the way I feel now (living sober) to the way I felt before (using).
All the best to you Lee and to you AuntieMel.
Take good care.Tamara
Posted by Lee05 on March 22, 2005, at 17:43:11
In reply to Re: towards the end of april » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on March 18, 2005, at 19:57:46
Hi All,
Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.
Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.
Later,
Lee
Posted by TamaraJ on March 22, 2005, at 17:52:01
In reply to Help, posted by Lee05 on March 22, 2005, at 17:43:11
Hi Lee,
I'm here. I know all to well that nasty desire to drink that creeps on you when you least expect it. Distracting yourself is a good idea -go for a walk, call a friend, organize a kitchen cupboard or a dresser drawer, or even pick up the phone and call the AA number of talk to someone there. You don't have to go to a meeting. Someone will be happy to talk to you over the phone and help you through the urge to drink. And, try not to worry. It will pass. You are doing great Lee! And, the fact that you reached out instead of picking up is great as well. My thoughts are with you. My babblemail shows as being off on the this board (because I had changed my posting name, and this thread, which contains my old posting name, has not yet been archived), but if you find a post by me on either Social or the main board, you will see that my babblemail is on. You know you can babblemail me at any time. Don't hesitate. Hang in there Lee. You are going to be ok.
My thoughts are with you. Take good care,
Tamara
> Hi All,
>
> Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.
>
> Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.
>
> Later,
>
> Lee
Posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 8:55:21
In reply to Re: Help - I'll do what I can » Lee05, posted by TamaraJ on March 22, 2005, at 17:52:01
Thanks you so much for being there yesterday Tamara. Things did get a little dicey, but I'm really glad to be able to say this morning that I'm still sober--78 days now. Really didn't think I was going to make it through that one-- on my way to the liquor store and everything. At the last minute I went into the grocery store instead, bought myself a more appropriate (non-alcoholic) spring patio drink and something really great for the bbq. Then on the way home I stopped and rented "28 Days" and a couple of other movies.
You were right, it did pass--I just got really panicked at the time because I felt totally out of control. I guess I didn't expect it this far into the game, but I'm just finding that now is when the psychological addiction really starts to play dirty.
Thanks again--I'm so glad you were there :)
Luv ya,
Lee
> Hi Lee,
>
> I'm here. I know all to well that nasty desire to drink that creeps on you when you least expect it. Distracting yourself is a good idea -go for a walk, call a friend, organize a kitchen cupboard or a dresser drawer, or even pick up the phone and call the AA number of talk to someone there. You don't have to go to a meeting. Someone will be happy to talk to you over the phone and help you through the urge to drink. And, try not to worry. It will pass. You are doing great Lee! And, the fact that you reached out instead of picking up is great as well. My thoughts are with you. My babblemail shows as being off on the this board (because I had changed my posting name, and this thread, which contains my old posting name, has not yet been archived), but if you find a post by me on either Social or the main board, you will see that my babblemail is on. You know you can babblemail me at any time. Don't hesitate. Hang in there Lee. You are going to be ok.
>
> My thoughts are with you. Take good care,
>
> Tamara
>
> > Hi All,
> >
> > Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.
> >
> > Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.
> >
> > Later,
> >
> > Lee
>
>
Posted by TamaraJ on March 23, 2005, at 9:08:35
In reply to Thank you, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 8:55:21
(((Lee)))
I am so proud of you, and so pleased that you overcame the urge to drink. That is wonderful, and it just adds to the strength of your sobriety and helps to reinforce your willpower - each time you overcome the urge (IMHO anyway). Well done! I used to think of the urges as something like you would see in a a cartoon - where there is the little devil on one shoulder and the little angel on the other. Devil saying - Do it, just one won't hurt. Angel saying - No, you know that one will not be enough. It's not worth it. I am glad last night the angel won out :-) Yeah, the psychological addiction is a bugger :-( I hope you cooked up something yummy on the barbe and enjoyed a really good meal. And, 78 days - less than two weeks away from yet another milestone. Hang in there Lee, one day at a time. It gets easy - it really does.
Take good care of you.
Luv ya back,
Tamara
> Thanks you so much for being there yesterday Tamara. Things did get a little dicey, but I'm really glad to be able to say this morning that I'm still sober--78 days now. Really didn't think I was going to make it through that one-- on my way to the liquor store and everything. At the last minute I went into the grocery store instead, bought myself a more appropriate (non-alcoholic) spring patio drink and something really great for the bbq. Then on the way home I stopped and rented "28 Days" and a couple of other movies.
>
> You were right, it did pass--I just got really panicked at the time because I felt totally out of control. I guess I didn't expect it this far into the game, but I'm just finding that now is when the psychological addiction really starts to play dirty.
>
> Thanks again--I'm so glad you were there :)
>
> Luv ya,
>
> Lee
>
> > Hi Lee,
> >
> > I'm here. I know all to well that nasty desire to drink that creeps on you when you least expect it. Distracting yourself is a good idea -go for a walk, call a friend, organize a kitchen cupboard or a dresser drawer, or even pick up the phone and call the AA number of talk to someone there. You don't have to go to a meeting. Someone will be happy to talk to you over the phone and help you through the urge to drink. And, try not to worry. It will pass. You are doing great Lee! And, the fact that you reached out instead of picking up is great as well. My thoughts are with you. My babblemail shows as being off on the this board (because I had changed my posting name, and this thread, which contains my old posting name, has not yet been archived), but if you find a post by me on either Social or the main board, you will see that my babblemail is on. You know you can babblemail me at any time. Don't hesitate. Hang in there Lee. You are going to be ok.
> >
> > My thoughts are with you. Take good care,
> >
> > Tamara
> >
> > > Hi All,
> > >
> > > Really feel like drinking right now, so I thought I'd come and see if anyone was around. Actually, even if no one is there, I feel better just posting. Nothing in particular happening--it's just a really sunny spring day, and I'm having trouble shifting my focus from a glass of white wine out on the patio.
> > >
> > > Doing my best to hang in--I'm going to go for a walk.
> > >
> > > Later,
> > >
> > > Lee
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by AuntieMel on March 23, 2005, at 12:11:35
In reply to Thank you, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 8:55:21
I missed your post yesterday. I'm so glad Tamara was here for you.
Congratulations on beating back the urge. It was a surprise, I know, but you've now experienced a surprise urge and know you can get through it.
Well done, choo choo.
Posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 12:45:02
In reply to Re: I'm sorry Lee, posted by AuntieMel on March 23, 2005, at 12:11:35
Please don't be sorry Auntie Mel. You guys are such an awesome support network, and I appreciate you all so much.
Planning anything special for your birthday?
Lee
> I missed your post yesterday. I'm so glad Tamara was here for you.
>
> Congratulations on beating back the urge. It was a surprise, I know, but you've now experienced a surprise urge and know you can get through it.
>
> Well done, choo choo.
Posted by AuntieMel on April 1, 2005, at 15:54:36
In reply to Re: I'm sorry Lee » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 12:45:02
Monday, right?
One more weekend to a virtual chip.
Congratulations
Posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08
In reply to Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by AuntieMel on April 1, 2005, at 15:54:36
> Monday, right?
>
> One more weekend to a virtual chip.
>
> CongratulationsYup, this is 90 on Monday--thanks Auntie Mel! Actually, this particular virtual chip has been the hardest earned yet. More struggles over the last 30 days than in the 60 before. But still hanging in, due in no small part to the incredible support I get from all of you.
Thanks so much everyone--have a great day!
Lee
Posted by TamaraJ on April 4, 2005, at 9:25:34
In reply to Re: Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08
Lee,
Kudos, congrats, bravo, felicitations, yahoo, . . . !!!!! You were put to the test, but you did it. 90 days, in spite of the trials and tribulations you went through during the past 30 days. Well done Lee!
Take good care of you (and your sobriety).
All the best,
Tamara
Posted by Lee05 on April 4, 2005, at 19:43:45
In reply to 90 days for Lee - Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by TamaraJ on April 4, 2005, at 9:25:34
> Lee,
>
> Kudos, congrats, bravo, felicitations, yahoo, . . . !!!!! You were put to the test, but you did it. 90 days, in spite of the trials and tribulations you went through during the past 30 days. Well done Lee!
>
> Take good care of you (and your sobriety).
>
> All the best,
>
> Tamara
Thanks Tamara--feeling pretty good tonight!Take good care of you too,
Lee
Posted by AuntieMel on April 5, 2005, at 13:03:39
In reply to Re: Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08
I've seen lots of people lapse between 60 and 90. Most probably caused by a feeling of 'I've got this licked now' and letting down the guard.
Interesting, the time *right* before a milestone can be the hardest. Even people with lots of time get edgy when birthdays approach.
Good job.
Posted by Lee05 on April 17, 2005, at 21:38:05
In reply to Re: 90 is a huge milestone » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on April 5, 2005, at 13:03:39
I don't have a specific date, but if I remember correctly, you said the latter part of April. So Happy Happy Birthday and congratulations on the past two years! Any plans to celebrate?
Lee
Posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:46:31
In reply to Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!!, posted by Lee05 on April 17, 2005, at 21:38:05
Good memory Lee.
It's Sunday, actually. Celebrating is a good idea, though I'm not sure I know how to party anymore.
Any ideas?
and how are you doing?
Posted by TamaraJ on April 18, 2005, at 15:04:14
In reply to Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:46:31
That's wonderful! An early congrats (more to come!!!). Two years is, IMHO, an important milestone and achievement. The "pink cloud" feelings of getting to that one year milestone have more than worn off, and sobriety is even more about something you are maintaining and living for yourself, the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships with loved ones, friends and, more importantly, yourself. At least that is the way it was for me. Anyway, you should be very proud of yourself AuntieMel. As for celebrating, why don't you just do something for yourself that you don't normally do or have time to do (massage, manicure, pedicure, if you enjoy those things and, if not, go to a movie or out for a nice dinner).
All the best to you - one day at a time,
Tamara
Posted by Lee05 on April 24, 2005, at 9:10:18
In reply to Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on April 18, 2005, at 15:04:14
Posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 11:36:04
In reply to OK, officially now...HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE MEL!!! (nm), posted by Lee05 on April 24, 2005, at 9:10:18
Posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 19:07:09
In reply to Re:Thank you Lee - I don't feel a day older. (nm), posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 11:36:04
Posted by Lee05 on May 5, 2005, at 11:37:54
In reply to Happy 2nd Birthday AuntieMel! Kudos/congrats!!! (nm) » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 19:07:09
Posted by AuntieMel on May 5, 2005, at 17:18:48
In reply to Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara--CONGRATULATIONS!!! (nm), posted by Lee05 on May 5, 2005, at 11:37:54
Posted by TamaraJ on May 6, 2005, at 19:36:44
In reply to Re: Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara - Wow!!! (nm), posted by AuntieMel on May 5, 2005, at 17:18:48
Thank you both very much. Hasn't exactly been a year worth celebrating, but things can only get better, right? Anyway, don't want to be a downer!
Lee, hope you are doing well. You just passed 120 days, if I am remembering correctly. We need to adopt our own reward system at Babble because it is a long stretch from 3 months to 1 year. Incentives, rewards and recognition are important in the early days of sobriety. So, I say, unlike AA, we here at Babble should acknowledge and celebrate 6 and 9 months as well.
Take care.
Tamara
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