![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 109 to 133 of 175. Go back in thread:
Posted by AuntieMel on March 23, 2005, at 12:11:35
In reply to Thank you, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 8:55:21
I missed your post yesterday. I'm so glad Tamara was here for you.
Congratulations on beating back the urge. It was a surprise, I know, but you've now experienced a surprise urge and know you can get through it.
Well done, choo choo.
Posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 12:45:02
In reply to Re: I'm sorry Lee, posted by AuntieMel on March 23, 2005, at 12:11:35
Please don't be sorry Auntie Mel. You guys are such an awesome support network, and I appreciate you all so much.
Planning anything special for your birthday?
Lee
> I missed your post yesterday. I'm so glad Tamara was here for you.
>
> Congratulations on beating back the urge. It was a surprise, I know, but you've now experienced a surprise urge and know you can get through it.
>
> Well done, choo choo.
Posted by AuntieMel on April 1, 2005, at 15:54:36
In reply to Re: I'm sorry Lee » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on March 23, 2005, at 12:45:02
Monday, right?
One more weekend to a virtual chip.
Congratulations
Posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08
In reply to Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by AuntieMel on April 1, 2005, at 15:54:36
> Monday, right?
>
> One more weekend to a virtual chip.
>
> CongratulationsYup, this is 90 on Monday--thanks Auntie Mel! Actually, this particular virtual chip has been the hardest earned yet. More struggles over the last 30 days than in the 60 before. But still hanging in, due in no small part to the incredible support I get from all of you.
Thanks so much everyone--have a great day!
Lee
Posted by TamaraJ on April 4, 2005, at 9:25:34
In reply to Re: Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08
Lee,
Kudos, congrats, bravo, felicitations, yahoo, . . . !!!!! You were put to the test, but you did it. 90 days, in spite of the trials and tribulations you went through during the past 30 days. Well done Lee!
Take good care of you (and your sobriety).
All the best,
Tamara
Posted by Lee05 on April 4, 2005, at 19:43:45
In reply to 90 days for Lee - Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by TamaraJ on April 4, 2005, at 9:25:34
> Lee,
>
> Kudos, congrats, bravo, felicitations, yahoo, . . . !!!!! You were put to the test, but you did it. 90 days, in spite of the trials and tribulations you went through during the past 30 days. Well done Lee!
>
> Take good care of you (and your sobriety).
>
> All the best,
>
> Tamara
Thanks Tamara--feeling pretty good tonight!Take good care of you too,
Lee
Posted by AuntieMel on April 5, 2005, at 13:03:39
In reply to Re: Lee's coming up on 90!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on April 2, 2005, at 18:53:08
I've seen lots of people lapse between 60 and 90. Most probably caused by a feeling of 'I've got this licked now' and letting down the guard.
Interesting, the time *right* before a milestone can be the hardest. Even people with lots of time get edgy when birthdays approach.
Good job.
Posted by Lee05 on April 17, 2005, at 21:38:05
In reply to Re: 90 is a huge milestone » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on April 5, 2005, at 13:03:39
I don't have a specific date, but if I remember correctly, you said the latter part of April. So Happy Happy Birthday and congratulations on the past two years! Any plans to celebrate?
Lee
Posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:46:31
In reply to Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!!, posted by Lee05 on April 17, 2005, at 21:38:05
Good memory Lee.
It's Sunday, actually. Celebrating is a good idea, though I'm not sure I know how to party anymore.
Any ideas?
and how are you doing?
Posted by TamaraJ on April 18, 2005, at 15:04:14
In reply to Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on April 18, 2005, at 14:46:31
That's wonderful! An early congrats (more to come!!!). Two years is, IMHO, an important milestone and achievement. The "pink cloud" feelings of getting to that one year milestone have more than worn off, and sobriety is even more about something you are maintaining and living for yourself, the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships with loved ones, friends and, more importantly, yourself. At least that is the way it was for me. Anyway, you should be very proud of yourself AuntieMel. As for celebrating, why don't you just do something for yourself that you don't normally do or have time to do (massage, manicure, pedicure, if you enjoy those things and, if not, go to a movie or out for a nice dinner).
All the best to you - one day at a time,
Tamara
Posted by Lee05 on April 24, 2005, at 9:10:18
In reply to Re: Happy 2nd Birthday Auntie Mel!! » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on April 18, 2005, at 15:04:14
Posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 11:36:04
In reply to OK, officially now...HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTIE MEL!!! (nm), posted by Lee05 on April 24, 2005, at 9:10:18
Posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 19:07:09
In reply to Re:Thank you Lee - I don't feel a day older. (nm), posted by AuntieMel on April 25, 2005, at 11:36:04
Posted by Lee05 on May 5, 2005, at 11:37:54
In reply to Happy 2nd Birthday AuntieMel! Kudos/congrats!!! (nm) » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on April 25, 2005, at 19:07:09
Posted by AuntieMel on May 5, 2005, at 17:18:48
In reply to Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara--CONGRATULATIONS!!! (nm), posted by Lee05 on May 5, 2005, at 11:37:54
Posted by TamaraJ on May 6, 2005, at 19:36:44
In reply to Re: Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara - Wow!!! (nm), posted by AuntieMel on May 5, 2005, at 17:18:48
Thank you both very much. Hasn't exactly been a year worth celebrating, but things can only get better, right? Anyway, don't want to be a downer!
Lee, hope you are doing well. You just passed 120 days, if I am remembering correctly. We need to adopt our own reward system at Babble because it is a long stretch from 3 months to 1 year. Incentives, rewards and recognition are important in the early days of sobriety. So, I say, unlike AA, we here at Babble should acknowledge and celebrate 6 and 9 months as well.
Take care.
Tamara
Posted by AuntieMel on May 9, 2005, at 10:26:48
In reply to Re: Happy 9th (!!) Birthday Tamara - Wow!!!, posted by TamaraJ on May 6, 2005, at 19:36:44
AA does chips at 1mo, 3mo, 6mo, 1yr, 16mo, and yearly only after that, I believe.
Lee should be at 6 months on June 4. Not too long now.
Posted by TamaraJ on May 9, 2005, at 16:46:48
In reply to Re: rewards » TamaraJ, posted by AuntieMel on May 9, 2005, at 10:26:48
I had forgotten about the 6 month one (is that the gold one?). In Canada, we don't have a 16 month chip. At least there was never any mention of a chip for 16 months at any meeting I went to, either at my home group or when I attended a meeting of another group. When you hit the year mark, the next big anniversary is 5 years, then 10 years, etc. (at least to get a medallion anyway).
> AA does chips at 1mo, 3mo, 6mo, 1yr, 16mo, and yearly only after that, I believe.
>
> Lee should be at 6 months on June 4. Not too long now.
Posted by Lee05 on May 10, 2005, at 12:40:42
In reply to Re: rewards » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on May 9, 2005, at 16:46:48
I'm very upset to let you guys know that I crashed just before 120. I feel like I'm supposed to say I don't know what happened, but I know exactly what happened--I let my guard down and got cocky--and I knew what a danger zone I was in too. Anyway, I spent some time being very upset and down on myself, but vowed I would stop wallowing in it and get back on track. I'm having a little trouble getting refocused though, and am only managing to go for a few days at a time. I refuse to give up, because I know I can do it, and I won't stop trying. I absolutely will celebrate 6 months, a year, 10 years, etc...even if it's not quite according to the original timetable.
Hope you guys are all well--I'm so proud and happy for you for the birthdays you've all been celebrating.
Take care--I'll talk to y'all again soon,
Lee
PS--Tamara, re the "year not worth celebrating"...you OK?
Lee
Posted by TamaraJ on May 10, 2005, at 19:15:02
In reply to Little choo choo derailed, posted by Lee05 on May 10, 2005, at 12:40:42
(((Lee)))
That's the attitude Lee! Don't be upset and don't let a slip bring you down or cause you to beat up on yourself. It happened, and you can't go back in time to erase it. You should still be proud of the progress you made. It is a one day at a time journey.
In answer to your question, I will be fine. It has just been a year of one thing after another, but I am sure everything will be ok soon. Thanks.
You take care.
All the best of everything to you.
Tamara
> I'm very upset to let you guys know that I crashed just before 120. I feel like I'm supposed to say I don't know what happened, but I know exactly what happened--I let my guard down and got cocky--and I knew what a danger zone I was in too. Anyway, I spent some time being very upset and down on myself, but vowed I would stop wallowing in it and get back on track. I'm having a little trouble getting refocused though, and am only managing to go for a few days at a time. I refuse to give up, because I know I can do it, and I won't stop trying. I absolutely will celebrate 6 months, a year, 10 years, etc...even if it's not quite according to the original timetable.
>
> Hope you guys are all well--I'm so proud and happy for you for the birthdays you've all been celebrating.
>
> Take care--I'll talk to y'all again soon,
>
> Lee
>
> PS--Tamara, re the "year not worth celebrating"...you OK?
>
> Lee
Posted by AuntieMel on May 11, 2005, at 10:04:11
In reply to Re: rewards » AuntieMel, posted by TamaraJ on May 9, 2005, at 16:46:48
Sorry - typo. I meant 18mo
Posted by AuntieMel on May 11, 2005, at 10:20:08
In reply to Little choo choo derailed, posted by Lee05 on May 10, 2005, at 12:40:42
Do not - I repeat - DO NOT let this get into your head.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. A slip is just a slip. No more, no less. Not a weakness, not a character flaw. Just a slip.
The important thing is that you learn from it and use that education for the next time you are tempted.
The ism's are insidious. It's almost like the devil living in your head telling you you've got it licked and one drink won't hurt - or telling you that if you made it this far with not too much trouble than maybe you weren't addicted and you should test it - or telling you when you're ticked off that nobody should be telling you what to do and you can just do what you want. The devil knows exactly what to tell you and where your weaknesses are.
The worse thing to do is beat yourself up for it. That's the devil telling you that you can't do it and you may as well not try.
If my advice means anything it is to get to meetings. Daily for a while, then a couple of times a week. Even if they usually don't do anything for you just being there often at the beginning is a constant reminder not to drink. And the time away from your usual routine helps break the habit.
And now - some homework. Please tell us just what was happening in your life and what was going on in your head when you slipped. Maybe we can help give you some coping skills.
And if you want it I'll give you my phone number so you can have a cyber-sponsor in times of crisis. email is my posting name at gmail dotcom. But I'm going out of town this weekend (my son is graduating college - he'll be an official rocket scientist) and won't be checking email after tomorrow till Tuesday.
Posted by Lee05 on May 11, 2005, at 12:46:21
In reply to Re: Well, we'll put the choo choo back on track » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on May 11, 2005, at 10:20:08
>And now - some homework. Please tell us just what was happening in your life and what was going on in your head when you slipped. Maybe we can help give you some coping skills.
>
I was coming home from work at the end of my week--nice sunny day. Everything was going really well, and I was feeling pretty good about life. Half-way home I got a thought in my head--what a nice "treat" it would be to relax in the backyard with a chilled glass of chardonnay when I got home. I've had that thought before, and have managed to fast forward to the consequences before I did any damage. I don't even remember *thinking* about the consequences this time--just the thought that I deserved this one-time treat. So I indulged (not feeling the least bit guilty at the time) and got right back on track the next day. Over the next week, I didn't feel like I needed or even wanted to have a drink, and that's when the trouble really started--I started thinking maybe I could handle the whole moderation thing. From there it was just a fast-track to a major crash.I guess what got me feeling really stupid is that I've been in that danger zone before, and recognized it as trouble. I don't know why I was so willing to jump off the wagon without even a hint of a red flag. If I had asked for help, I know I would have gotten it and been fine. What scares me is that I didn't think even for one second that I needed help.
I appreciate any advice you can give me, because I really am trying to learn from this.
Lee
PS--Major congratulations to your rocket scientist--have lots of fun this weekend!
Posted by AuntieMel on May 11, 2005, at 16:02:27
In reply to Homework » AuntieMel, posted by Lee05 on May 11, 2005, at 12:46:21
But that story is sooooooooo common. So many, many people do just what you did.
First the "test" drink. The addict devil is telling you that it won't hurt to have just one drink. It'll even convince you that you really should have one, just to check if you are really addicted. After all, everyone said one drink will put you back where started.
So you have one. And there isn't any problem. Well that just gets the devil voice in your head going even louder. See! I told you it was ok!
A while later the devil get's back to you. Well, he says, you handled one just fine and you haven't had any problem. I bet two is ok, too.
Eventually you cross the 'I can put it down' line and are back to where you were, or worse, before you stopped.
Ok - what to do now. Add this experience to the list of consequences you can replay in your brain. If anything, it should have at least fixed it in your mind that "one is too many."
And print out your homework post and wrap the corkscrew up in it. Then put a layer of tape on it about an inch thick. After that put it in a bottle of water and freeze it.
By the time you get to it, the consequences should have entered your head. In fact everytime you open the freezer you will get a reminder.
Posted by Lee05 on May 12, 2005, at 18:45:59
In reply to Re: I hate to tell you this » Lee05, posted by AuntieMel on May 11, 2005, at 16:02:27
The corkscrews are wrapped, taped and frozen. And in addition to my homework, I printed up a very specific list of the damage I did when I crashed--not pretty, but it makes a damned good case for sobriety.
Thanks for the support you guys--you help me more than you can know.
Lee
Go forward in thread:
Psycho-Babble Substance Use | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.