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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by me-but-not-me on June 5, 2000, at 18:38:33
Hello all,
I am facing possible hospitalization and have been putting off seeking treatment because I don't know what to expect. I think it will be voluntary, but- if they ask me about suicidal ideations and I am honest & say 'yes', I don't want them to be able to commit me... I realize my fears my be unfounded but I have no idea what to expect.
I have been just getting meds from my GP, and since I am in the healthcare field he gives me pretty much whatever I want. I have been managing my own meds for about a year now, and I am tired of it. I can't wait 4 weeks for a psych and med eval from a psychiatrist, and the thought of having to look for one again overwhelms me to the point that I can't do it.
Suicide had ceased to be an option for a while in my mind, but now it's back. Not that I think I'll do it tonight or anything, but- I know just how I would do it, and all I can think about is the peace that would follow after all of 'this' stopped. You know what I mean. At least I think you do.
I am worried enough to seek help since I have really specific details worked out in my plan. Though I have no desire to do it right now, it will look like a better and better option the longer this goes on. I am really just fed up with everything.
Anyway, if you have been in the hospital please let me know what to expect. I am not violent, in fact I am quite catatonic, so I don't expect to be restrained or anything. I am just worried that they will see the scars on my arms from cutting and with the suicide ideation, they will just lock me up. I may be being totally irrational about this, but I have to arrange for someone to come into my garbage dump of an apartment and feed the cats, etc...
What happens to you? I assume a battery of blood tests are performed and also a psych and med eval. Anything else? How long is an average stay? Do you have freedom of movement, can you have a visitor, do you wear your own clothes? These may seem like silly questions, but I am terrified... both of going and of not going. Dammit I am so tired of this never-ending cycle...
Posted by Oddzilla on June 5, 2000, at 19:42:42
In reply to Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by me-but-not-me on June 5, 2000, at 18:38:33
> Hello all,
>
> I am facing possible hospitalization and have been putting off seeking treatment because I don't know what to expect. I think it will be voluntary, but- if they ask me about suicidal ideations and I am honest & say 'yes', I don't want them to be able to commit me... I realize my fears my be unfounded but I have no idea what to expect.I don't think being committed would be an issue unless you were actively suicidal and refusing to be hospitalized. I don't think being honest about having serious thoughts about suicide would cause you to be committed.
>
> I have been just getting meds from my GP, and since I am in the healthcare field he gives me pretty much whatever I want. I have been managing my own meds for about a year now, and I am tired of it. I can't wait 4 weeks for a psych and med eval from a psychiatrist, and the thought of having to look for one again overwhelms me to the point that I can't do it.
>
> Suicide had ceased to be an option for a while in my mind, but now it's back. Not that I think I'll do it tonight or anything, but- I know just how I would do it, and all I can think about is the peace that would follow after all of 'this' stopped. You know what I mean. At least I think you do.I know what you mean. I suspect a lot of people here do.
>
> I am worried enough to seek help since I have really specific details worked out in my plan. Though I have no desire to do it right now, it will look like a better and better option the longer this goes on. I am really just fed up with everything.
>
> Anyway, if you have been in the hospital please let me know what to expect. I am not violent, in fact I am quite catatonic, so I don't expect to be restrained or anything. I am just worried that they will see the scars on my arms from cutting and with the suicide ideation, they will just lock me up. I may be being totally irrational about this, but I have to arrange for someone to come into my garbage dump of an apartment and feed the cats, etc...I think probably they will arrange for you to be voluntarily admitted and you will be allowed to go home and make arrangements. Do you have a doctor who is planning to admit you or are you going to go to a hospital yourself? Maybe you could call ahead and ask someone about the procedures. Or if you're pretty sure you're going to be admitted, you might pack a few clothes and go ahead and arrange care for the cats.
>
> What happens to you? I assume a battery of blood tests are performed and also a psych and med eval. Anything else? How long is an average stay? Do you have freedom of movement, can you have a visitor, do you wear your own clothes? These may seem like silly questions, but I am terrified... both of going and of not going. Dammit I am so tired of this never-ending cycle...Usually, you get a basic physical with blood tests and an EKG and everything. You also get a battery of psychological tests and evaluations with a psychologist. There is usually a social history taken by a social worker-from a family member if one is available or from you.
Stays are not nearly as long as they once were. I would guess most people stay 5-10 days more or less.Usually the unit is locked but there is freedom of movement within that area (typically day room,TV room, kitchen, your room ).
You can have visitors and use the telephone during certain hours with your doctor's permission.You wear your own clothes (not pajamas). There are usually scheduled classes or therapy groups several times a day. Stress reduction or sometimes music or arts and crafts.
I don't think you have to be worried about being treated roughly or put in restraints or anything.
If they should decide you were actively suicidal,they would probably have you sleep near the nurses station and stay in sight. It's not terribly humiliating or anything. I don't really know what to say. About a month ago Harry B. wrote about his stay in a hospital, maybe you can go back and find his posts. He had a good experience.I understand how you feel and do wish you good luck. O.
Posted by harry b. on June 5, 2000, at 20:54:09
In reply to Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by me-but-not-me on June 5, 2000, at 18:38:33
me-but-not-me,
For the first time in my life, this year I self-admitted
to a hospital, twice. I had asked my pdoc which
hospitals she would recommend and I chose one that
specialized in mental & behavioral health issues.
You might ask your GP for his opinion.A voluntary admission is just that-voluntary. Both
times, I drove myself to the hospital and went to
the Emergency Room admitting desk. My intent was
to self-admit, there was no doubt in my mind about
that. Each time, a pdoc came to talk to me, quickly
asked about my history, my current crisis, and my
intentions. I was then asked if I wanted to sign
the paperwork for a voluntary admission, and I did
so. By voluntarily admitting I had the option to
leave when & if I wanted to. There's one caveat to
that. If the pdoc feels you are a danger to yourself
or others, he can force you to stay 72 hrs for
evaluation.The criteria for admission: Attempted suicide or
suicidal ideation with a Plan; Posing a risk of
harm to yourself or others.I was in a locked ward. The other patients in the
ward were each there for psychiatric/behavioral/
substance abuse problems. I would not be concerned
about the scars on your arms, I saw plenty of those
there. The first day my bathroom door was locked,
I had to get a staff member to unlock it each time
I wanted to use it. My shoelaces, belt, (even my
robe with its sewn-in cloth belt) 'sharps', and
OTC meds were taken from me. By the 2nd day my
bathroom door was unlocked and my shoelaces and
stuff were returned to me. Those were privileges I
had earned by my behavior.Meals were served on the ward, but after a few
days I had earned the privilege of going to the
cafeteria to eat. At the same time I was allowed
to go outside the building on walks led by staff,
and to go to the basement gym to shoot hoops.
I doubt many hospitals are this permissive and
caring, but this is the only one I've been in.During the day there were scheduled activities. I
was encouraged to attend and participate, but if
I wanted to sleep all day I could. The activities
were classes on Coping Skills, Educational lectures
(mostly on psych stuff & meds), Recreation,
Group Therapy, and Relaxation periods. I saw the
pdoc each day and was able to schedule sessions
with a therapist. The staff was kind & caring. I
became friends with 2 of the patients there. We
are still in touch with one another.What did I miss?
Only one blood draw each stay
Street clothes were the norm (take slip-on sneaks
or ones with velco)
Med eval by the pdoc, short, non-invasive physical
exam
I was allowed visitors
Freedom of movement was restricted to the ward except
for the privileges I mentioned
Length of stay: 9 days; 7 days (the hospital pdoc
told me the average stay is 4 to 5 days because of
insurance)me-but-not-me, this was my experience at the only
psych hospital I've been to. Others can maybe
tell you their experiences.I can hear the desperation in your post. The
hospital was a good place for me to be at the time.
If you are afraid and if you are considering
self-harm, it might be good to admit yourself and
let others care for you for awhile. Oh yeah,
your cats, I have one cat and she fended for herself
during both stays. I put out so much food and water
for her that most of it was still here when I
got back home. Give them extra litter boxes and
they will do fine.hb
Posted by Cindy W on June 5, 2000, at 21:39:14
In reply to Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by me-but-not-me on June 5, 2000, at 18:38:33
> Hello all,
>
> I am facing possible hospitalization and have been putting off seeking treatment because I don't know what to expect. I think it will be voluntary, but- if they ask me about suicidal ideations and I am honest & say 'yes', I don't want them to be able to commit me... I realize my fears my be unfounded but I have no idea what to expect.
>
> I have been just getting meds from my GP, and since I am in the healthcare field he gives me pretty much whatever I want. I have been managing my own meds for about a year now, and I am tired of it. I can't wait 4 weeks for a psych and med eval from a psychiatrist, and the thought of having to look for one again overwhelms me to the point that I can't do it.
>
> Suicide had ceased to be an option for a while in my mind, but now it's back. Not that I think I'll do it tonight or anything, but- I know just how I would do it, and all I can think about is the peace that would follow after all of 'this' stopped. You know what I mean. At least I think you do.
>
> I am worried enough to seek help since I have really specific details worked out in my plan. Though I have no desire to do it right now, it will look like a better and better option the longer this goes on. I am really just fed up with everything.
>
> Anyway, if you have been in the hospital please let me know what to expect. I am not violent, in fact I am quite catatonic, so I don't expect to be restrained or anything. I am just worried that they will see the scars on my arms from cutting and with the suicide ideation, they will just lock me up. I may be being totally irrational about this, but I have to arrange for someone to come into my garbage dump of an apartment and feed the cats, etc...
>
> What happens to you? I assume a battery of blood tests are performed and also a psych and med eval. Anything else? How long is an average stay? Do you have freedom of movement, can you have a visitor, do you wear your own clothes? These may seem like silly questions, but I am terrified... both of going and of not going. Dammit I am so tired of this never-ending cycle...me-but-not-me, I've never been in the hospital, but I hope things get better for you very soon. I would imagine that your expectation (psych and med eval and blood tests) is probably close to what happens. I would imagine that freedom of movement and visiting depends on the policies of the hospital you go to. If you are feeling down enough to think about suicide but do not currently plan to harm yourself, please be honest with your pdoc. Where I work, I know that generally pdocs will not lock people up if they admit they are depressed enough to feel suicidal but do not want to die and want help instead. Hang in there!--Cindy W
Posted by claire 7 on June 5, 2000, at 21:47:32
In reply to Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by me-but-not-me on June 5, 2000, at 18:38:33
>
> They are not silly questions! I'd be scared, too.Although I've never been a patient, I've been the daughter of a woman hospitalized 3 timesduring the last 40 years, for a total period of about 5 years, and recently I've spent much time in the psych ward , as a visitor. A thing that stands out in my mind as appropriate to your situation is a wonderful woman who was a patient while my mother was --she was a mental health care worker, herself. The staff treated her with respect. She had valuable input to offer. She wore her own clothes (as did everyone who wasn't in really bad shape). Everyone who wasn't clearly psychotic could sign themselves out to smoke outside, or go down to the lobby to just get away, etc. There was a genuine, poignant atmosphere among the patients of mutual aid, care, and understnading. All age groups, from a 16 year old boy whom I witnessed being incredibly kind to my mother (age 79), to a really nutty old white guy who tried to tip
off a restrained old black guy about how best to get out of restraints. ("The more you fight against the restraints, the more they will restrain you.")My sister-in-law, who was a cutter among other things,benefitted greatly from hospitalization, and is now living a better life than she probably ever had before.
These of course are only my personal and particular experiences, but hospitalization, I think, can be a positive thing, especially if it's voluntary, and entered into BEFORE you
you are incapable of participating in your own
care.And, I imagine, a great deal depends on the hospital.All best wishes. It's a tough road, but you can
make it.
Posted by shellie on June 5, 2000, at 22:11:40
In reply to Re: Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by claire 7 on June 5, 2000, at 21:47:32
I've been in two different hospitals, and the difference was amazing. In one, (when I was 24), my hospital experience was horrible. Years later, (34 or so) I went to a special program in dissociative disorders and it was a very very good experience. So be a good consumer. The second time I not only picked the hospital, but also my attending psychiatrist and the psychologist who did my therapy inpatient. So look into different places, don't just go anywhere. Ask questions on the phone. Hospitals keep you safe, but are only a beginning to new treatment. They are not a cure for anything. Also, you might look into a partial hospitalization program if there is a good one near you. Then you could be home with your cats at night and not have to go through all the transitions of hospitals. Good luck, shellie
Posted by quilter on June 6, 2000, at 2:12:36
In reply to Re: Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by shellie on June 5, 2000, at 22:11:40
Harry has it about right in his description. I have been hospitalized more times than I can count. Another thing to consider is that hospitals often offer their patients services that are hard to access otherwise. Social workers may be able to help develop a plan to defeat the chaos in your home. It has been a relief to just be safe for a while. Please let them help you! Quilter
Posted by me-but-not-me on June 6, 2000, at 2:55:12
In reply to Re: Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by shellie on June 5, 2000, at 22:11:40
Oddzilla (great name by the way!), Harry, Cindy, Claire and Shellie:
Thank you so much for being so open and willing to share, I appreciate it more than you can know...
I did call ahead to ask questions and it doesn't seem like it will be as bad as I thought. Between what those docs at the hospital told me, and what you have told me here, I feel comfortable going there. I will be honest about what is going on, it would be counterproductive I suppose to go through getting myself there and then holding things back. I used to work at this hospital in a different clinic, so 1) I have old coworkers there that would probably drop in, and 2) I know first-hand the food in the cafeteria is pretty good for a hospital.
It's funny, too, how much support seems to be there for me if I ask. It is so easy to let the depression cloud my vision... I have one person that is offering more support than I thought I could hope for, and even the people I told at my work are being very good about it. And all of you here really help -- thank you so much for responding. I will keep you posted on what happens - I think I am going in the morning.
Harry, I will leave my keys with my supportive friend just in case, but will leave out a bunch of food and water (and an extra litter box, it's a coincidence I just bought a new gigantic one) for the kitties and I am sure they will be okay : )
Thank you all so much, again -- you may not realize how much it means to me right now to know I am not alone. It gets so hard sometimes. I know you know what I mean.
Posted by me-but-not-me on June 6, 2000, at 3:07:27
In reply to Re: Hospital Q's -thank you all so much : ), posted by me-but-not-me on June 6, 2000, at 2:55:12
We posted at about the same time, I didn't see your post before I started replying to the others.
Yes, I agree, I was thinking that I will have access to a comprehensive amount of services that would take me much too long in my current state to acquire from a bunch of different places. And I will certainly welcome any suggestions about taming this pig sty of an apartment! I am starting to feel better about this whole thing. Thank you for your help, everyone.
-mbnm
Posted by ChrisK on June 6, 2000, at 6:05:14
In reply to Re: Hospital Q's -thank you too, Quilter!, posted by me-but-not-me on June 6, 2000, at 3:07:27
mbnm,
I just caught up with this thread this morning. I hope that if you're still here that you will go to the hospital very soon. I also know what it's like but it took me a couple of suicide attempts to get me in there. You want to get there before that happens.
Mental health care has come a long way from the "Coockoo's Nest" stereotypes. My stays were very positive.
One thing I will add to everyone else's descriptions is that it is very helpful to have BS sessions at night with the other patients in your ward. You really get to learn that you're not alone and find out what other people go through.
Both patients and staff are incredibly helpful in helping you straighten out your thought process.
Please get there soon,
Chris
P.S. My stays were between five and eleven days
Posted by Craig on June 9, 2000, at 1:10:44
In reply to Re: Hospital Q's - scared don't know what to expect, posted by shellie on June 5, 2000, at 22:11:40
Just out of curiosity, which dissociative disorders program were you in? I was in the dissociative disorders unit at Rush in Chicago and was treated by Dr. Bennett Braun. To me, it was like boot camp, so I'm wondering where you were that the experience was very good.
*****************************
> I've been in two different hospitals, and the difference was amazing. In one, (when I was 24), my hospital experience was horrible. Years later, (34 or so) I went to a special program in dissociative disorders and it was a very very good experience.
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