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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 10:54:04
Yesterday I had a totally out-of-control anger experience - I'd been in court all day, waiting for a client's case to come up. I finally got done at 5pm, and called into my office to see if they had any documents for me to read - I was going to offer to go out of my way to pick them up and take them home to read - and instead my boss was all bitchy with me because I hadn't been there to work on a grant!!! Apparently the executive dir. got on her case about my not being there, so she decided to pass it on to me. I was furious because I will make sure that the grant gets done even if it means I have to work extra hours this week, but also I REALLY can't tolerate being ordered to do things.
Luckily I was on a pay phone and ran out of change because a lot of very rude things were on the tip of my tongue and I was so furious I just wanted to quit on the spot. I went from being quite calm when I made the call to being furious, crying, wanting to quit, and having - fleeting - thoughts of overdosing or stepping in front of a bus. I walked briskly for about a mile and a half - in dress shoes, oh, the blisters!!! - and finally managed to get a bit of a grip, but I'm afraid that she'll bring it up today and I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself.
Posted by IsoM on February 20, 2002, at 11:41:49
In reply to out of control anger, posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 10:54:04
KB, what I perceive as unjust & unfounded, I can become VERY angry very quickly. Rarely have I ever expressed my anger. For me, it helps to rehearse the possible scenerios over in my head - what they'll say, what I'll reply. I tend to practice these over & over - probably because I'm really mulling them over, thoroughly bothered by it. When the confrontation does take place, I find I'm prepared. If I feel my anger rising, I'm very aware of it & keep telling myself that I'm superior to them - let them make a fool of themself, I won't be drawn into it.
Maybe this is a very arrogant attitude on my part, but it works for me. There's a few people who's personality is so abrasive to mine that sometimes I think I'd feel more comfortable with my hands around their throat. I don't react like this with normal people but only those that are arrogant asses themselves. I hate mind games & work/office/family politics but damn it! if they want to play with me, I'll beat them at their own games.
Maybe it might help to adopt that attitude towards people such as those???
Posted by Ritch on February 20, 2002, at 12:53:58
In reply to out of control anger, posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 10:54:04
> Yesterday I had a totally out-of-control anger experience - I'd been in court all day, waiting for a client's case to come up. I finally got done at 5pm, and called into my office to see if they had any documents for me to read - I was going to offer to go out of my way to pick them up and take them home to read - and instead my boss was all bitchy with me because I hadn't been there to work on a grant!!! Apparently the executive dir. got on her case about my not being there, so she decided to pass it on to me. I was furious because I will make sure that the grant gets done even if it means I have to work extra hours this week, but also I REALLY can't tolerate being ordered to do things.
>
> Luckily I was on a pay phone and ran out of change because a lot of very rude things were on the tip of my tongue and I was so furious I just wanted to quit on the spot. I went from being quite calm when I made the call to being furious, crying, wanting to quit, and having - fleeting - thoughts of overdosing or stepping in front of a bus. I walked briskly for about a mile and a half - in dress shoes, oh, the blisters!!! - and finally managed to get a bit of a grip, but I'm afraid that she'll bring it up today and I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself.
Hi KB,What meds are you taking? Sounds like some of my bipolar rages. I have an experience like that where I work about once a week. When you get angry and have to maintain control you get depressed like you mentioned. I need to do some job hunting. I can't handle bosses either. I don't like being supervised. I do more work than necessary, so I get angry at not being trusted to use my own judgement. I suppose I am just being "oppositional", but maybe that is part of my ADHD/bipolar problems. I see others where I work that don't get all twisted out of shape over the same circumstances. It seems that with the right meds I have been able to "handle" these type of environments, but I often wonder if I just found work that fitted my personality instead of trying to change my personality to suit my work (and my bosses), I might be a lot happier. Maybe it is time to hang your own shingle?
good luck,
Mitch
Posted by Geezer on February 20, 2002, at 15:52:07
In reply to out of control anger, posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 10:54:04
> Yesterday I had a totally out-of-control anger experience - I'd been in court all day, waiting for a client's case to come up. I finally got done at 5pm, and called into my office to see if they had any documents for me to read - I was going to offer to go out of my way to pick them up and take them home to read - and instead my boss was all bitchy with me because I hadn't been there to work on a grant!!! Apparently the executive dir. got on her case about my not being there, so she decided to pass it on to me. I was furious because I will make sure that the grant gets done even if it means I have to work extra hours this week, but also I REALLY can't tolerate being ordered to do things.
>
> Luckily I was on a pay phone and ran out of change because a lot of very rude things were on the tip of my tongue and I was so furious I just wanted to quit on the spot. I went from being quite calm when I made the call to being furious, crying, wanting to quit, and having - fleeting - thoughts of overdosing or stepping in front of a bus. I walked briskly for about a mile and a half - in dress shoes, oh, the blisters!!! - and finally managed to get a bit of a grip, but I'm afraid that she'll bring it up today and I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself.Hi KB
My first question would be the same as Mitch - what drugs do you take and what is your DX? The anger you mention was the final SYMPTOM in my Bipolar II Disorder, it led to rage that I had more and more difficulity controlling. This finally resulted in my medical disability at age 57. The concern you show about your anger is certainly worthy of attention. If you have an affective disorder (I believe) medications are the only answer. Some Affective Illness-mood disorders-tend to be recurrent, progressive, and spontaneous over time if not properly medicated.
Don't mean to pry - hope to hear more from you.
Best regards,Geezer
Posted by Kai on February 20, 2002, at 18:46:03
In reply to out of control anger, posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 10:54:04
Stressful situations like that are very bad for depression. It would certainly send me crashing, and I would too have to go try and pull it together. I have been working on this with my therapist- trying to learn calming exercises and meditation. I try to let go of things that I can't handle or "control". I think of my favorite place on the beach and try to picture myself there breathing slowly. I know that this sounds kind of simplistic; I'll try anything to keep from falling into that dark hole. O ther people can handle it because they don't have depression- stress will upset them, not push them over the edge. You have to try to let go of your anger.
Posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 22:43:14
In reply to Re: out of control anger, posted by Kai on February 20, 2002, at 18:46:03
I take Celexa (40 mg) and Wellbutrin (200 mg) for depression. I also take celebrex and plaquenil for Lupus - I don't think they affect my mood, but who knows.
I arrived at work today very tense after really having to force myself to go, just to find that my boss was totally over it and acted as if everything was fine!!!
I just don't seem to play well with others.
Posted by Ritch on February 21, 2002, at 0:02:42
In reply to anger update/med answer, posted by KB on February 20, 2002, at 22:43:14
> I take Celexa (40 mg) and Wellbutrin (200 mg) for depression. I also take celebrex and plaquenil for Lupus - I don't think they affect my mood, but who knows.
>
> I arrived at work today very tense after really having to force myself to go, just to find that my boss was totally over it and acted as if everything was fine!!!
>
> I just don't seem to play well with others.
KB,I am taking your meds plus some Neurontin+Klonopin. WB tends to make me a little grouchy, but more assertive. I seem to have this ability just to "flip-off" my boss and not get too upset about it. Hey, if they want to fire me-go for it! You might consider a reduction in the WB. I had an episode a couple of months ago where I was on a higher dose of WB and I got to work with all sorts of bad expectations that you described. And it was all pretty much a big..nothing. BUT, I was getting all panicky and wigged out over it. I am wanting to switch the WB to something else that allows me to focus(ADHD), and yet doesn't get me all riled up.
Mitch
Posted by KB on February 21, 2002, at 7:46:19
In reply to Re: anger update/med answer » KB, posted by Ritch on February 21, 2002, at 0:02:42
Yeah, I do sometimes feel like saying,
"Go ahead, fire me, what do I care?!!" I'm hesitant about reducing the Wellbutrin because I use it for energy - between the Celexa and the Lupus, I was half asleep all the time.
Posted by Ritch on February 21, 2002, at 10:00:58
In reply to Re: anger update/med answer, posted by KB on February 21, 2002, at 7:46:19
> Yeah, I do sometimes feel like saying,
> "Go ahead, fire me, what do I care?!!" I'm hesitant about reducing the Wellbutrin because I use it for energy - between the Celexa and the Lupus, I was half asleep all the time.With my bipolar the max. I can take is just 37.5mg in the morning. However, if I *do* miss that dose-wow I get really all dumpy with self-pitying thoughts. That happened a few days ago, and I was just going "why am I feeling like this??" It seems that the AD's or stims that work tend to flatten out all of the self-pitying, downer thoughts and feelings, but I am still tense and hostile. I hate it. It is like take your pick: 1) Tense and hostile, 2) Moody and weepy.
Mitch
Posted by IsoM on February 21, 2002, at 13:16:28
In reply to Re: anger update/med answer, posted by KB on February 21, 2002, at 7:46:19
KB, could you not add a stim to counter-act the sleepiness? Perhaps the regular ones like Dexedrine or a newer one like Provigil? Both make me feel much more charitable towards Mankind in general.
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