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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tepi on December 2, 2007, at 21:03:52
I feel terrible , told mom to forget about me , she could be happy with my brother and her next grandson.
I just want to die now. I am thinkin very strong in it.
dont wanna call anybody , just rest in peace
dont know why im posting this sh*t , i ve been in my bed the whole weekeend
i wanna close the door of the kitchen take seroquel and my bed there and sleep,and before that open the
gas door so the CO2 kills me while sleeping,
no suffering like this
i really want to do it , im tired
i had planned this in the past but I never do nothing, you may think I just wanna call your attention
I dont have noone to talk now,maybe that is why im posting this stupid thing
maybe I shoudl take risperdal or and OLD AP maybe the sedation would help me
Posted by Phillipa on December 2, 2007, at 22:18:48
In reply to anybody online in this moment ?, posted by tepi on December 2, 2007, at 21:03:52
Tepi I'm here and please do not do that we care about you. You're a beautiful human being. You have a plan now you need the hospital call someone now. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on December 2, 2007, at 22:20:36
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » tepi, posted by Phillipa on December 2, 2007, at 22:18:48
Posted by yxibow on December 3, 2007, at 0:38:13
In reply to anybody online in this moment ?, posted by tepi on December 2, 2007, at 21:03:52
>
> I feel terrible , told mom to forget about me , she could be happy with my brother and her next grandson.And in the end, you could take her with you too -- parents are not normally supposed to outlive their children, no matter what, except by natural causes or acts of god.
> I just want to die now. I am thinkin very strong in it.
> dont wanna call anybody , just rest in peace
> dont know why im posting this sh*t , i ve been in my bed the whole weekeendYou're very depressed, that would not surprise me, and perhaps have some avoidance anxiety because facing living is actually tougher than death. But what a glory if you could master it.
> i wanna close the door of the kitchen take seroquel and my bed there and sleep,and before that open the
> gas door so the CO2 kills me while sleeping,
> no suffering like this
> i really want to do it , im tired
> i had planned this in the past but I never do nothing, you may think I just wanna call your attention
> I dont have noone to talk now,maybe that is why im posting this stupid thingI think you have hit your head on the nail, you need other people to talk to, I mentioned groups that are associated with NAMI in Mexico which is where I believe you are but I can't help further if you aren't willing to describe or I am clueless and you've already discussed this. Irrelevant anyhow, you need some social love now.
> maybe I shoudl take risperdal or and OLD AP maybe the sedation would help me
People who want to commit suicide really want to just escape their problems. Its painful to endure them. Its equally painful to endure cancer, MS, being in a wheelchair, bad vision, and a whole list of things, but you know what, all of the above people are -living-. Because what choice besides what you are proposing do we have. Rare disorders, mental illness, are just among the things we can be struck with in life. Life never came with any guarantees. But there is 1) always hope 2) always someone out there who will love you if you work hard enough and 3) always the pursuit of the hardest thing to realize is that life from the very beginning is wondrous yet fatal. That still doesn't stop people from living it to their maximum capabilities. What can you lose instead by grabbing it by the cajones, if you'll pardon my phrasing, and trying. Trying very hard, making yourself proud, feeling the hurt and growing because of it.
I can't describe it in any other fashion -- but if you have something imminent, a hospital is really the only place or at least an outpatient facility. There are a lot of people here who obviously care about you and you need more than just virtual people to grow on and with.
"Look to this day For it is life, the very life of life. For yesterday is but a dream And tomorrow is only a vision But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness And tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day Such is the salutation of the dawn." -- Kalidasa
-- Jay
Posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2007, at 1:51:41
In reply to anybody online in this moment ?, posted by tepi on December 2, 2007, at 21:03:52
I imagine you are posting this because killing yourself is so hard.
Hard, like being alive.
And like me (for example), I wonder if you are lonely and would really like someone to talk to the way you need to.
You are right about the suffering, Tep.
When you die you will no longer suffer.
But you (and a lot of us here) have become used to the suffering too.What can I say, Tep?
Life sucks, and frequently.
But we have to live it the best way we can.I don't know anything about Seroquel.
Posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2007, at 4:19:03
In reply to anybody online in this moment ?, posted by tepi on December 2, 2007, at 21:03:52
Tep, is Nardil no longer working for you?
Or is it that you are just sick of it all?
Or something else?
Posted by tepi on December 3, 2007, at 6:36:19
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ?, posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2007, at 4:19:03
its morning , i did nothing , I can`t
I should not be wrtting these posts , im a cowardIm tired of evrything , what is that of NAMI
Please tell me what to do, Iam alone , very alone
I cant think clear. I have no money for a hospital now and I dont want a hospitalI have to go to my job, and why im going to muy job, why im like this
nobody here knows nardil well, what would you do?
Posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2007, at 13:01:38
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ?, posted by tepi on December 3, 2007, at 6:36:19
Tep, I can't help you with Nardil.
But I'm curious.....
How much Nardil are you taking?
When you restarted Nardil after you ran out, did it work again as it used to?
Posted by Phillipa on December 3, 2007, at 19:12:54
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » tepi, posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2007, at 13:01:38
I think it was mentioned above about living with a wheelchair and what not. My Son is blind from an explosion during Desert Storm. He was depressed for a while. Drank what not. Then he got himself together and is now the Commander of the Disabled American Veterans in his area and is flown to Washington DC and he can't see. But he's happy. So it can be done I use him as an example to myself and others all the time. Phillipa
Posted by yxibow on December 3, 2007, at 20:01:09
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ?, posted by Phillipa on December 3, 2007, at 19:12:54
> I think it was mentioned above about living with a wheelchair and what not. My Son is blind from an explosion during Desert Storm. He was depressed for a while. Drank what not. Then he got himself together and is now the Commander of the Disabled American Veterans in his area and is flown to Washington DC and he can't see. But he's happy. So it can be done I use him as an example to myself and others all the time. Phillipa
Wow, that is a legacy to live by, I wasn't going to that far. But I tried, not really, I am so afraid of death and afraid of living, to mm... well anyhow, and what is better, trying to make it in this existence whether you believe in anything else or not, or skipping out on it altogether?
I have an orofacial tic, and a disorder that nobody on this continent has and yet I'm still here thanks of course to the love of my parents but somewhere in there is a will, my own, slowly being nurtured by therapy, to get what I learned in college used productively.
NAMI is the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, if I knew your region in Mexico or if I'm totally mistaken on country -- you don't have to give me your address, I could try to translate something on the web to see if I could come up with some sort of lead on a support group which I think you're in dire need of.
From there, you have to take just a little initiative to call or to email or to reach out somehow and slowly you build a social network.
Don't worry about what you said last night, it is a sign that you're trying to reach out. It would be worrysome if you didn't say anything.
-- take care
Jay
Posted by pandawat on December 3, 2007, at 21:48:54
In reply to anybody online in this moment ?, posted by tepi on December 2, 2007, at 21:03:52
Hi Tepi. I don't know you but I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I sometimes feel that way. But I think to myself, what if the Bible is true and there really is a heaven AND a hell? What if I kill myself and wake up in hell, and I'm much worse off than I was here? It's not worth it to me. It's not worth the gamble. If I wake up in hell there is nothing I can do about it then - I am stuck. At least if I stay here I can keep trying to get better. That's just how I see it. Please don't take your life, because death may not be the peace you're looking for.
Posted by tepi on December 4, 2007, at 0:52:09
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » tepi, posted by Sigismund on December 3, 2007, at 13:01:38
> Tep, I can't help you with Nardil.
>
> But I'm curious.....
>
> How much Nardil are you taking?
>
> When you restarted Nardil after you ran out, did it work again as it used to?well just 45mg in this moment and the first time work at the first 4 or 5 days. Now this time started to work after 3 or 4 weeks later.
Maybe it is not working like in the past and I dont realize Im yet depressed . Who knows !
there are many feeling in my head I dont know what is a good one
Posted by tepi on December 4, 2007, at 1:05:14
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ?, posted by Phillipa on December 3, 2007, at 19:12:54
> I think it was mentioned above about living with a wheelchair and what not. My Son is blind from an explosion during Desert Storm. He was depressed for a while. Drank what not. Then he got himself together and is now the Commander of the Disabled American Veterans in his area and is flown to Washington DC and he can't see. But he's happy. So it can be done I use him as an example to myself and others all the time. Phillipa
Dear Phillipa , I didnt know this , Im sorry . Never thought you had a son. I shoudl not be doing this. if you want I can talk with you by mail
tepi loves you for being here always
Posted by tepi on December 4, 2007, at 1:10:14
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » Phillipa, posted by yxibow on December 3, 2007, at 20:01:09
> > I think it was mentioned above about living with a wheelchair and what not. My Son is blind from an explosion during Desert Storm. He was depressed for a while. Drank what not. Then he got himself together and is now the Commander of the Disabled American Veterans in his area and is flown to Washington DC and he can't see. But he's happy. So it can be done I use him as an example to myself and others all the time. Phillipa
>
> Wow, that is a legacy to live by, I wasn't going to that far. But I tried, not really, I am so afraid of death and afraid of living, to mm... well anyhow, and what is better, trying to make it in this existence whether you believe in anything else or not, or skipping out on it altogether?
>
> I have an orofacial tic, and a disorder that nobody on this continent has and yet I'm still here thanks of course to the love of my parents but somewhere in there is a will, my own, slowly being nurtured by therapy, to get what I learned in college used productively.
>
> NAMI is the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, if I knew your region in Mexico or if I'm totally mistaken on country -- you don't have to give me your address, I could try to translate something on the web to see if I could come up with some sort of lead on a support group which I think you're in dire need of.
>Yes it is Mexico , in the Norteast region . Nuevo Leon , second important state in Mexico
> From there, you have to take just a little initiative to call or to email or to reach out somehow and slowly you build a social network.
>Yes I will , never heard that , please help me
> Don't worry about what you said last night, it is a sign that you're trying to reach out. It would be worrysome if you didn't say anything.
>
> -- take care
>
> Jaythank you jay
Posted by tepi on December 4, 2007, at 1:14:40
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ?, posted by pandawat on December 3, 2007, at 21:48:54
> Hi Tepi. I don't know you but I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I sometimes feel that way. But I think to myself, what if the Bible is true and there really is a heaven AND a hell? What if I kill myself and wake up in hell, and I'm much worse off than I was here? It's not worth it to me. It's not worth the gamble. If I wake up in hell there is nothing I can do about it then - I am stuck. At least if I stay here I can keep trying to get better. That's just how I see it. Please don't take your life, because death may not be the peace you're looking for.
but killing me on suffering would be a mortal sin? I was alway wondering that . My father told me what you said the first thing I hung up from the the bathube when I was 17 .
Posted by yxibow on December 4, 2007, at 3:44:41
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » yxibow, posted by tepi on December 4, 2007, at 1:10:14
> > > I think it was mentioned above about living with a wheelchair and what not. My Son is blind from an explosion during Desert Storm. He was depressed for a while. Drank what not. Then he got himself together and is now the Commander of the Disabled American Veterans in his area and is flown to Washington DC and he can't see. But he's happy. So it can be done I use him as an example to myself and others all the time. Phillipa
> >
> > Wow, that is a legacy to live by, I wasn't going to that far. But I tried, not really, I am so afraid of death and afraid of living, to mm... well anyhow, and what is better, trying to make it in this existence whether you believe in anything else or not, or skipping out on it altogether?
> >
> > I have an orofacial tic, and a disorder that nobody on this continent has and yet I'm still here thanks of course to the love of my parents but somewhere in there is a will, my own, slowly being nurtured by therapy, to get what I learned in college used productively.
> >
> > NAMI is the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, if I knew your region in Mexico or if I'm totally mistaken on country -- you don't have to give me your address, I could try to translate something on the web to see if I could come up with some sort of lead on a support group which I think you're in dire need of.
> >
>
> Yes it is Mexico , in the Norteast region . Nuevo Leon , second important state in Mexico
>
>
> > From there, you have to take just a little initiative to call or to email or to reach out somehow and slowly you build a social network.
> >
>
> Yes I will , never heard that , please help me
>
> > Don't worry about what you said last night, it is a sign that you're trying to reach out. It would be worrysome if you didn't say anything.
> >
> > -- take care
> >
> > Jay
>
> thank you jayNot a problem, feel free to babblemail me if you have more specific places to research that you wouldn't like to post personally.
Nuevo Leon is a very modernized state from what I know, the University of Monterrey is quite well known.
You might give this institution a call about referrals
Instituto de Psicoterapia, San Pedro Garza García, N.L 8338-2872, 8040-8953 y 8040-8954
http://www.infamilia.gob.mx/directorioSaludFisica.pdf
If you can read the acrobat file, there are some organizations throughout Monterrey and S.P.G.G.
There is a national organization called Voz Por Salud Mental
http://www.vozprosaludmental.org.mx/portal/
mentions http://www.ingenium.org.mx/home.html
Ingenium ABP. They have a contact number and email in S.P.G.G on their web site and have peer sessions
A social network is just a fancy word for a group of friends, you meet someone and then you become friends with them and then you meet their friends, etc. It is very important to keep yourself unisolated from other people and one has to especially fight that with mental/biological illness and that's what I meant. I have that problem too, besides my parents I have only my friends who have moved further away from me due to work and the like.
Posted by pandawat on December 4, 2007, at 7:55:45
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » pandawat, posted by tepi on December 4, 2007, at 1:14:40
Tepi, I really want to help you. I am trying to find an answer to your question about mortal sin, but I need a little time to research. Please don't harm yourself!!! I will pray for you.
Posted by Phillipa on December 4, 2007, at 18:20:01
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » tepi, posted by pandawat on December 4, 2007, at 7:55:45
Tepi you know I love you as a Son and you are so handsome. If I was younger would love to be your girlfriend whether or not you talk a lot. And I thought you had my e-mail address? Phillipa
Posted by pandawat on December 4, 2007, at 20:42:26
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » pandawat, posted by tepi on December 4, 2007, at 1:14:40
> but killing me on suffering would be a mortal sin? I was alway wondering that . My father told me what you said the first thing I hung up from the the bathube when I was 17 .
Hi Tepi. I am so sorry to hear to tried to hang yourself from the bathtub. I tried to answer your question about mortal sin. I started a new thread on the Faith page. Here it is
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20070227/msgs/798827.html
In case you can't link to it, it says Tepi please read this. Just go to the Faith page and you can find it. I hope you read it.
Posted by florence on December 6, 2007, at 1:28:44
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » tepi, posted by pandawat on December 4, 2007, at 20:42:26
You have an illness-- in the brain-- the "command center".....
I will pray to Our Lady of Guadalupe for you..She will help you. I am so very sure...... florence
Posted by gardenergirl on December 6, 2007, at 9:46:10
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » tepi, posted by pandawat on December 4, 2007, at 20:42:26
Posted by tepi on December 6, 2007, at 22:11:09
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ? » tepi, posted by yxibow on December 4, 2007, at 3:44:41
Great links !! Ive never had heard of anything like this here , even that I look for sometng thanks!!
Posted by tepi on December 6, 2007, at 22:19:30
In reply to Re: anybody online in this moment ?, posted by Phillipa on December 4, 2007, at 18:20:01
> Tepi you know I love you as a Son and you are so handsome. If I was younger would love to be your girlfriend whether or not you talk a lot. And I thought you had my e-mail address? Phillipa
thanks phillipa for your beautiful thoughts. but would you prefer someone with personality than someone with fear who could not protect you against anything or deciding what it is best for you
I lost all email from the people here , my account was unactivated . But mine its the same if you have it yet
kisses and hugs
tepi
This is the end of the thread.
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