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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on December 24, 2013, at 9:35:39
I was talking with an older lady like myself yesterday and the conversation got around to why each of us don't drive. She said that one day when living in NYC she went to work worked on 28th floor of a building and couldn't go up. Just fear. She was then terrified of even taking a shower in the house without her husband. She remained this way only with husband for a total of three years then one day she said there is nothing that I can do. Ever since that day she just does stuff with the exclusion of driving. But she never ever took a med and is fine now . She is 70. My point being that all the fears I also have if I could accept them and just do could just disappear. I need to start driving again also. Both of us have never liked to drive. So anyone else thing acceptance could be the cure for agoraphobia, anxiety, depression. It just struck me that maybe it is the answer? Phillipa
Posted by Ronnjee on December 24, 2013, at 10:20:24
In reply to Acceptance IT Worked for Neighbor, posted by Phillipa on December 24, 2013, at 9:35:39
I think it's HUGE! We so often are battling within ourselves in an attempt to exorcize our personal demons. The constant tension often makes matters worse and saps our strength. I've often been amazed how acceptance has a paradoxical effect, and instead of creating entropy, allows me to continue moving.
Posted by Phillipa on December 24, 2013, at 20:32:07
In reply to Re: Acceptance IT Worked for Neighbor, posted by Ronnjee on December 24, 2013, at 10:20:24
I agree all the worrying changes nothing. If something bad is going to happen it will. Just live. Phillipa
Posted by Phil on December 25, 2013, at 14:26:14
In reply to Acceptance IT Worked for Neighbor, posted by Phillipa on December 24, 2013, at 9:35:39
Like an alcoholic, they have to the fact that they really are sick or they won't recover. I would look up quotes on acceptance because I like quotes.
Severe anxiety will not vanish because you accept it. Severe depression won't go away. Maybe if she was on meds she wouldn't have needed her husband home for three years. There are different ways to look at it. but she's doing well thats all that matters.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 16:05:34
In reply to Re: Acceptance IT Worked for Neighbor, posted by Phil on December 25, 2013, at 14:26:14
sometimes it can help to distinguish the bodily feeling of anxiety from the cognitive judgement.
the bodily feeling aspect... the racing and thumping heart.. the 'fight or flight' sort of panic response... quite often that can be fairly automatically triggered and there isn't a lot we can do to prevent it (aside from avoiding the things that trigger it).
but the bodily feeling aspect does pass. in 20 or 30 seconds... one can learn to deal with the bodily aspect... and eventually it will be less and it will pass faster.
the cognitive aspect... can have quite an impact on the above bodily aspect. and the cognitive aspect can be brought quite a lot under our control. i think this is where the acceptance goes. when you feel the bodily anxiety... it can be most helpful to accept the feeling - while simultaneously holding in mind the knowledge that the bodily feeling will pass. to kind of... be relaxed about feeling the physiological symptoms of anxiety, if that makes sense.
i like to think of it as being something like a visual illusion... you know the one where you stick an oar (or a popsicle stick or something) into water and it looks bent? you know it isn't bent, but it surely looks bent. it looking bent is kind of like your body increasing the heart rate etc. there is the perception of danger... but just because the oar looks bent (and it surely, surely does look bent) it isn't bent. And surely surely as your body is perceiving danger / a threat (it surely surely is perceiving it / representing the world in that way) there isn't danger / a threat.
I don't know if this helps.
It helped me most for guilt and shame.
Posted by Phillipa on December 25, 2013, at 23:04:45
In reply to Re: Acceptance IT Worked for Neighbor, posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 16:05:34
I would think culture might also play a role in her situation. From Italy very dependant on husband to begin with. Also in her favor is that he was a huge NYC builder. No financial burdens at all surely help. She also said that when she had 6 cardiac stents put in two years ago. Her response. "What am I going to do can't change it". I do feel I need to accept been taking meds for much too long. Phillipa
But if I find I require them after trying I will not hesitate to readd them.
This is the end of the thread.
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