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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by FredPotter on January 24, 2007, at 18:11:22
My son is 17 and sexually active. Ignoring the rights or wrongs of that, he is very upset, having found that he can't maintain an erection, when with a girl. By himself everything works as it should. At first he could penetrate and perform for 10 minutes but not achieve orgasm and the erection faded. The last time he couldn't achieve penetration.
Can anyone advise me about this? Will it go away when he settles down with one girl, or does he need psych treatment? How common is it in the young? It afflicted me until I got married. I had to persuade myself with the help of my wife that it didn't matter whether I was successful or not, and then, perversely, it worked
Many thanks Fred
Posted by Declan on January 27, 2007, at 21:15:40
In reply to 17 year old with erection problems, posted by FredPotter on January 24, 2007, at 18:11:22
Fred, I dunno, common enough I think.
Just advise him to keep away from drugs, and look after himself, and stop worrying, and learn to do what he wants and he should be OK.
If you start to become a spectator to yourself, and your heart's not in it, and then you try to make it happen.......
Posted by Toph on January 28, 2007, at 7:30:24
In reply to 17 year old with erection problems, posted by FredPotter on January 24, 2007, at 18:11:22
First, Fred, I'm impressed that he shared this with his father. Had I approached my Dad with something like this, he would have hurriedly sent me off to ask my mother. Anyway, I noticed that this was more a function of how much I liked the girl. Casual sex, no problem. But ironically if I were really smittten, performance anxiety made the first sexual encounter difficult a couple times. (Now before you send me letters, I was being honest here, I don't need to hear that you should only have sex with someone you love). Actually, this experience became a litmus test of sorts. The two girlfriends this happened with were patient and showed me that they were kind and understanding - good qualities to have in a partner. The second one became my wife. BTW, women have performance issues as well, we just have that whole "manhood" thing to worry about.
Posted by FredPotter on January 28, 2007, at 14:23:12
In reply to Re: 17 year old with erection problems » FredPotter, posted by Toph on January 28, 2007, at 7:30:24
Thanks both of you for your kind replies. I agree with what you say. I know the problem first hand and after many failures I was amazed how kind and understand nearly all women are on this subject. The answer was for me to settle down with someone I loved and work on it together. "It's not your problem, it's ours", she said. When I felt the security of knowing she wouldn't leave me whether it worked or not, performance ceased to matter and then . . . it worked and continued working.
Fred
Posted by linkadge on May 30, 2007, at 19:08:01
In reply to Re: 17 year old with erection problems, posted by FredPotter on January 28, 2007, at 14:23:12
Wow, you must have a good relationship with your son. I would never share that kind of thing with my father. I'm sure we'd both be too embarrased.
I'd only seek help if it persists, only time will tell for that.
So long as he's not on any SSRI's or the like.
Linkadge
Posted by FredPotter on May 30, 2007, at 19:58:35
In reply to Re: 17 year old with erection problems, posted by linkadge on May 30, 2007, at 19:08:01
Thanks for your reply. Yes I was quite proud when he asked me. In the end I involved his Mother and the 3 of us had a no-holds-barred conversation about it. That was a while ago. Things came right for him eventually and now I'm worried he's too successful and might catch something or have an unwanted pregnancy. He says there must be no alcohol for it to work however (not in him at any rate)
Fred
Posted by sanjonlight on August 12, 2007, at 19:04:11
In reply to 17 year old with erection problems, posted by FredPotter on January 24, 2007, at 18:11:22
Hi Fred,
I have had some erection problems myself when i was that age. I'd say resolved them the same way the others here who commented did: found a good girl who was understanding...and talking to my parents about it, NO WAY...
I was wondering if you could say what was said by you,your wife and son in the no holds barred conversation? my interest is maybe it would help open my mind to what is going on inside...
thanks
This is the end of the thread.
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