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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2007, at 18:14:48
I always have yelled at my dogs on occasion. Neither the dogs nor I take it terribly seriously. They usually join in and bark along. I'm not a yeller in general, so maybe I use the fact that they don't mind to get my yelling out.
But the other day I heard my son yelling at them with approximately the same words and the same tone of voice, and I felt ashamed.
I suppose it's a good moment to tell him that it's not a charming quality in me, and that perhaps we could help each other not do it. :(
Posted by Jo U.K on February 17, 2007, at 4:12:27
In reply to A less than inspiring moment, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2007, at 18:14:48
I agree Dinah, it's horrible to hear yourself in your kids isnt it? I cringe when I think of the times I've yelled and screeched. In the bad old days I did it to the dogs a LOT. I was so stressed and I guess the dogs seemed a better option than the kids - not that they were immune to it sadly. Now I only have one of those dogs, he's 15 years old and I still feel bad about it, though I didnt physically hurt him.
I have two new dogs, they are 2 years old and because I'm calmer I honestly think they are happier dogs.
And of course, the kids dont have to listen to me shouting. I hope they dont remember to much about how I used to be.
Regards
Jo
Posted by Dinah on February 17, 2007, at 10:05:20
In reply to Re: A less than inspiring moment, posted by Jo U.K on February 17, 2007, at 4:12:27
Well, I talked to my family about it, and the general consensus was that I only yelled at them when they're barking, and that they think I'm joining in, and bark louder. I know that's the only time I've heard him yell at them. Sooooo.... my son and I are going to remind each other when we do it, and point out that we're not being very effective.
If that doesn't work, we'll consider yelling at the dogs equivilant cursing in terms of having to contribute to the curse cup.
My son loves to have the opportunity to let his parents know when they're breaking the rules, so this should work well enough.
The only other time they can think of that I yell is when my largest dog has an "accident" in the house, and we all rather think that's yell-worthy, so it won't have any consequences.
Posted by Jo U.K on February 18, 2007, at 3:59:54
In reply to Re: A less than inspiring moment, posted by Dinah on February 17, 2007, at 10:05:20
Yes I saw on a dog behaviour show that when you yell at them for barking they think you're joining in, so they bark more. You're supposed to quietly get their attention and go 'sssshhhhh' while doing a closing mouth action with your fingers. I have tried it, it does work, unless they're really excited, then I cant seem to get their attention.
JO
Posted by Dinah on February 18, 2007, at 11:44:12
In reply to Re: A less than inspiring moment, posted by Jo U.K on February 18, 2007, at 3:59:54
Thanks! I think I'll give that a try, and tell my son about it too. My dogs are small, which is great, and they aren't yappy in general. But when they bark, the high pitched tone can go right through your brain.
The new plan seems to be going well. When I yelled yesterday, my son pointed out what I was doing, and added that the dog I was yelling at was deaf anyway. Which had us both laughing. So I scooped her up and distracted her with a cuddle instead. Which is probably reinforcing the barking, but she's got a really aggressive cancer, so I guess reinforcing some barking won't do any harm.
I wonder if she can hear herself bark?
Posted by All Done on February 20, 2007, at 2:11:24
In reply to A less than inspiring moment, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2007, at 18:14:48
Perhaps it was a less than inspiring moment, but it's in the midst of *so many* inspiring moments, (((Dinah))). I'm glad you've come up with what sounds like a great plan to curb the yelling, but don't forget about all of the wonderful qualities you've shared with your son. I bet you can name at least ten for every one yelling at the dogs incident. He sounds like a wonderful boy with a great mom.
Posted by Dinah on February 23, 2007, at 12:57:17
In reply to Re: A less than inspiring moment » Dinah, posted by All Done on February 20, 2007, at 2:11:24
Actually, I agree. :)
And proof of that was the way he took the suggestion. He instantly understood that we weren't really doing the right thing, and he chipped in with trying to find a solution.
I don't think either of us has done it at all lately. Sometimes awareness is all that's needed.
This is the end of the thread.
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