Psycho-Babble Parents Thread 904005

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Disappointed Parents

Posted by Dorian W. Gray on June 30, 2009, at 16:34:58

Disappointed Parents

I know that my parents are disappointed in me, and it hurts/bothers me/I feel guilty, etc. So I am here to share, and hope that you would care to share, too.

We have a very loving relationship. Lately, I have been distancing myself from them by not visiting and phoning them as much as I used to, perhaps, out of shame and/or guilt. They have always been great parents to all four of us from day one.

Reasons for their disappointments:

1)In my religion: They are practicing, and devout Jewish. I am agnostic.
2)In my life style: My lack of believing in their religion leads me to live and do things that they dont approve of, such as: Having sex with my girl friends, or people I date, I lived with one of my exes for 3 years (one shouldnt have sex before marriage, etc) I eat and drink things that we are not supposed to, these sort of things.
3)They want me to marry a Jewish girl, have kids (raise them as practicing and devout Jewish), because that is what people do, this is what is expected of people: get married, have kids, get old and die. I dont want to get marry. Specially, I dont want to marry a Jewish girl, who is religious because I dont want my children to be religious. They can be, but I wont force any religion on my children
4)They wanted me to be a doctor, I got my MBA.
5)I dont participate in our cultural community/activities that are mostly wrapped around with some religious cover, they are not happy about this either.

I am not looking for advice on how to cope with their disappointments. However, I am hoping that a few of you would share your similar experience, if you have any, of having disappointed parent/s.

Also, I would like to know, whether your parents are right or wrong to be disappointed in you, how does this make you feel: The fact that your parents, who love you, are disappointed in you, someone who loves them?

I thank you in advance for sharing your stories, or thoughts on this subject.

Regards,

Dorian

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