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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Nadezda on August 25, 2008, at 12:08:26
What can I do today to help myself feel a little better? I have no one to work with this week, about which I'm very demoralized. I've been working so sporadically this summer, that it's really got me down. People say they'll work and then change their minds, as happened again last night, or make a commitment but keep me waiting, and then after weeks of that, suddenly take a job waitressing.
I feel as if it's hard to get going.
I'd like to do some painting, but never feel excited about still life. I could work on jewelry, but am almost too tired to trust myself with a torch. I could do some designing, and cutting with metal. But I need much more to do painting.
I hope this bad mood passes, because it feels kind of awful right this minute.
I haven't been sleeping these past few days; last night I only slept about five hours and have an awful drained feeling.
I'll try to work in a little while. I hope that helps.
Nadezda
Posted by Partlycloudy on August 25, 2008, at 13:29:48
In reply to Self=esteem at low level, posted by Nadezda on August 25, 2008, at 12:08:26
I can't disconnect my self esteem and sense of self worth from my work. This weekend we sold an item from our website and I was inordinately proud of myself. Same with selling a used book this morning on Amazon - like it has anything to do with ME - it just doesn't. But I see the dollars go into the bank account as a result and so I SEE the monetary worth.
What's the answer, then? I've been experimenting on taking better care of myself. Some days I actually put makeup on (and scare my husband - "where are you going??" - even the cat looks suspicious) and I feel more presentable. More important seems to be to do something that is just for myself and not for anyone else. Lately that has meant reading - I have been indulging my passion, and that makes me feel like I'm feeding my brain.
It takes a while to figure out what gift we can give ourselves that is worthy.
Posted by Nadezda on August 25, 2008, at 16:28:18
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level » Nadezda, posted by Partlycloudy on August 25, 2008, at 13:29:48
Thanks, PC.
My self-esteem is almost entirely tied to my work, not only to feeling that it's good, or progressing (or both-- which I rarely feel), but also that my concentration is good and I'm "into" it.
With still life, I have a lot of trouble getting into it. I know right now, I'm trying to learn the basics of painting in a way-- and with still life, a certain limited technical thing about creating volume and feeling in control of the paint. Today things aren't going well at all.
I know what you mean about doing other things to feel good, or not focusing exclusively on work, but that's so much more important to me than anything else. I wish I could find something I wanted to paint right now.
Sorry if I sound as if I"m feeling sorry for myself. I think I am, somewhat-- so I guess I should try some dbt things to try to break away from it. It's hard at this moment.
Nadezda
Posted by llurpsienoodle on August 25, 2008, at 17:59:00
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level » Partlycloudy, posted by Nadezda on August 25, 2008, at 16:28:18
I can only relate by thinking back to the months and months of depression when I was muddling through the motions required by academia, and producing what felt (at the time) to be mental oatmeal. Later, looking back at my work, I realized that it was about 95% up to my usual standards. It's just that it was SO much harder at the time.
The sense of "flow" is such a joy. It can liberate us from our existence-- that art of creation. But, the dark side of creativity is that it does not always strike when we need it most.
Lack of sleep and stress will go a long way towards emptying your psychological reserves. Give yourself a few days off-- maybe treat yourself to an artistic voyage to galleries or a museum, or even a park or change of scenery-- to refuel and relax.
Or perhaps you can do what I do. Eat biscotti and drink coffee while hoping that the longer I look at this book on metaphysics the more I will want to read it. hmph
The funny thing about those great thinkers and artists is that they were enourmously productive. They produced a lot of garbage, to be sure, but they also produced a few great works. I guess it's like a muscle. (but don't burn yourself on a torch!!!)
-Ll
p.s. I read somewhere that Descartes spent the morning in bed, reading & writing, and did not emerge until noon. Not bad, huh?
Posted by llurpsienoodle on August 25, 2008, at 18:00:15
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level » Partlycloudy, posted by Nadezda on August 25, 2008, at 16:28:18
I can only relate by thinking back to the months and months of depression when I was muddling through the motions required by academia, and producing what felt (at the time) to be mental oatmeal. Later, looking back at my work, I realized that it was about 95% up to my usual standards. It's just that it was SO much harder at the time.
The sense of "flow" is such a joy. It can liberate us from our existence-- that art of creation. But, the dark side of creativity is that it does not always strike when we need it most.
Lack of sleep and stress will go a long way towards emptying your psychological reserves. Give yourself a few days off-- maybe treat yourself to an artistic voyage to galleries or a museum, or even a park or change of scenery-- to refuel and relax.
Or perhaps you can do what I do. Eat biscotti and drink coffee while hoping that the longer I look at this book on metaphysics the more I will want to read it. hmph
The funny thing about those great thinkers and artists is that they were enourmously productive. They produced a lot of garbage, to be sure, but they also produced a few great works. I guess it's like a muscle. (but don't burn yourself on a torch!!!)
-Ll
p.s. I read somewhere that Descartes spent the morning in bed, reading & writing, and did not emerge until noon. Not bad, huh?
Posted by fayeroe on August 25, 2008, at 18:31:19
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level » Nadezda, posted by llurpsienoodle on August 25, 2008, at 17:59:00
A great singer told me once that she believes that creative people are more "tortured" than others. If that is true, I am damned creative! :-)
She pointed out her anxiety, her dad's depression and my mood swings. My oldest is a very good photographer and she is depressed alot..I could go on and on......
Oh, I have another example..I was talking to Gordon Lightfoot (yes) one night and he suddenly blurted out "my life has gone to ****ing rat****". He related how depressed he had been for about six months.This was right after he released one of his best-selling albums. I saw him again about one month later and we both were up and enjoyed a street carnival together.
I really do believe that we are more prone to feeling down and definitely feeling as if our work defines us at time. But I've taken some of my very best photographs when I could hardly walk and talk. Go figure.
Posted by Nadezda on August 25, 2008, at 22:58:32
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level » Nadezda, posted by llurpsienoodle on August 25, 2008, at 17:59:00
Thanks, Llurpsie. You're so right-- I need to do some things-- go to a gallery, or a museum--especially when I'm this depleted.
I do wish I could spend the day in bed, writing and reading-- or something comparable in art. It sounds so enticing (although I usually jump up the minute I wake up).
You're also right about my work-- mostly, anyway-- it's not so much that it's that much worse-- except once in a while-- it's that it's so much harder to do. I have to literally force myself sometimes-- which, after an hour, often, I can't do anymore, because my head is exploding.
But I do feel a little freer of the claustrophic, oppressive intensity that sometimes creeps over everything.
Nadezda
Posted by Nadezda on August 26, 2008, at 12:22:06
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level » Nadezda, posted by Partlycloudy on August 25, 2008, at 13:29:48
Thanks for the ideas, PC.
When you sell something on your website-- why not feel proud? You set it up and made the item look appealing enough and represented yourself in a good way-- I do a lot of onlook window-shopping,and I'm only really drawn in by a good website with good photos and clear explanations, etc-- so you have every right to feel great when you sell something.
But I suppose that can't always go well-- the downside is feeling bad when it doesnt. So it is important ( I suppose--) to have other sources of self-esteem-- or taking care of yourself.
I'd love to go to a nearby coffee shop and read for a while. But I always feel like I'll never go back-- and I"m a slow reader. A page takes me forever. Going once isn't going to get me to have read anything.
And as Llurpsie said-- I could go to a museum or gallery. But I have to get myself motivated to go out-- really. After my trip to SF (which was a complete departure for me) I need to keep up the connection to the world, which I let lapse almost completely.
Maybe you or Llurpsie wants to come with me to the Met or the Museum of Modern Art (only when they're free to the public-- though!)?
It's a vicious cycle-- I don't go alone-- but then I don't do anything-- so I don't have any friends-- so I don't do anything.
What do you sell on your website?
Nadezda
Posted by Phillipa on August 26, 2008, at 12:36:08
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level --Partly Cloudy, posted by Nadezda on August 26, 2008, at 12:22:06
Oh I know that feeling work at night on posting ebay picking the right templet measuring everything completely, I do kids boutique clothing. Greg does unique items and a lot of coach purses, Dooney Burkes, Michael Kores, and others and right now I sold some high dollare Down Coats For Kids And Ladies at great prices. I feel good especially the day a lady bought 26 boutique items at once kept disappearing on the website as sold. It was fun to watch. Last night I posted Two Ralph Lauren Cashmere Sweater Outfits original $225.00 for babies. In light blue. Where Do people get the money. But My self-esteem has always been tied into my work since stopping nursing had to find something creative and finally have. I take great pride in finding the real deal at great prices. Some retailers work with me. Hence I get items at lower prices. Visit some time seller 252gregb. Proud of our status as power sellers with all great feedback. It's rewarding as keeps me off babble in the evening now as that's when I work til 2am. Love Phillipa
Posted by Partlycloudy on August 26, 2008, at 18:00:38
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level --Partly Cloudy, posted by Nadezda on August 26, 2008, at 12:22:06
>
> What do you sell on your website?
>
> NadezdaI sell teapots, Wedgwood Jasperware porcelain, glass items, Expo 67 memorabilia (it was in Montreal, my home town), Nippon porcelain, and Royal Doulton Bunnykins tableware. An odd mix, but I decided to try to specialize in a few things rather than just carry a little bit of everything. I like doing the photography and writing the copy for the items. My husband *loves* to do the shopping for the business - he's a real bargain hunter.
We do antique and collectible shows in our local area when the season starts. Right now all the dealers are still up north where it's cooler, but next month we're getting a jump on the season and doing a nice show in the central part of the state, under Live Oak trees hung with Spanish Moss - just beautiful - as long as the weather cooperates. We bring lots of different items to the shows - books, pictures, glassware, jewelry, planters, all sorts of housewares.
I really enjoy this hobby of ours and spend a lot of time on it.
pc
Posted by Nadezda on August 27, 2008, at 9:33:20
In reply to Re: Self=esteem at low level --Partly Cloudy » Nadezda, posted by Partlycloudy on August 26, 2008, at 18:00:38
PC, that sounds so awesome!
I buy old things on Ebay. For a long time I was interested in 19th and early 20th c. pocket watches, although I couldn't afford the really interesting ones. (I still am interested, but not as seriously as I used to be.) I would phantasize about going around to antique stores and finding things, but I never did. (Plus where I live, in NYC, it's hard to find stores that aren't overpriced for the NYC market.)
I love old (true vintage and antique) things-- and I think what you're doing is great. A good website for that kind of thing really is hard to achieve-- Of course it isn't the only thing in life-- I do think it's important for us to remember that other things-- relationships, other projects, working on who we are-- are important too.
You do have every right to feel proud when you sell something, though.
Cool!
Nadezda
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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