Psycho-Babble Faith Thread 825043

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My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church!

Posted by Dena on April 23, 2008, at 19:26:11

Last week, my husband and I, along with our friends/neighbors/ministry owners, flew out to NYC from Oregon, to be interviewed on "The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet".

The story was about how the Church has often put out erroneous and unbiblical messages about how God views married sex -- leaving married couples within the Church to suffer with problems (no where to go), and to wonder "what's normal," "what's ok," "what's right/what's wrong".

Our marrage was abysmal for 17 years -- I was quite promiscuous prior to marriage, and then, when I got married, I did a 180* turn, becoming completely frigid (being a "good Christian woman"), denouncing sex, including pleasure, seeing sex the way our church defined it: a necessary evil for the purpose of procreating. We let church tradition, rather than the Bible, determine how we viewed sex.

God intervened -- replacing my lies about sex with His truth. He healed me, sexually, 4 years ago, and it revolutionalized our marriage -- totally transforming me from an "ice princess" to my husband's dream-come-true.

Then, I found The Marriage Bed (www.themarriagebed.com) and started sharing on their discussion forum (which was what got us kicked out of our church and denomination). It's a Christian marriage website, dedicated to putting out scientifically accurate and biblically-based information about sexuality.

ABC found out about it, and did an online interview with them, which led to the "Mike and Juliet" show on FOX -- they wanted us to come talk about our story -- it aired last Thursday.

Only the first half of the interview is online: http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/more-faith-equals-better-sex/

But there's also a backstage interview with a pastor (who was also on the show), Joe Beam: http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/christian-sex/

Enjoy! And may your marriages be richly and lavishly blessed!

Shalom, Dena

 

Re: My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church! » Dena

Posted by SteelyDan on April 24, 2008, at 9:15:05

In reply to My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church!, posted by Dena on April 23, 2008, at 19:26:11

> Last week, my husband and I, along with our friends/neighbors/ministry owners, flew out to NYC from Oregon, to be interviewed on "The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet".
>
> The story was about how the Church has often put out erroneous and unbiblical messages about how God views married sex -- leaving married couples within the Church to suffer with problems (no where to go), and to wonder "what's normal," "what's ok," "what's right/what's wrong".
>
> Our marrage was abysmal for 17 years -- I was quite promiscuous prior to marriage, and then, when I got married, I did a 180* turn, becoming completely frigid (being a "good Christian woman"), denouncing sex, including pleasure, seeing sex the way our church defined it: a necessary evil for the purpose of procreating. We let church tradition, rather than the Bible, determine how we viewed sex.
>
> God intervened -- replacing my lies about sex with His truth. He healed me, sexually, 4 years ago, and it revolutionalized our marriage -- totally transforming me from an "ice princess" to my husband's dream-come-true.
>
> Then, I found The Marriage Bed (www.themarriagebed.com) and started sharing on their discussion forum (which was what got us kicked out of our church and denomination). It's a Christian marriage website, dedicated to putting out scientifically accurate and biblically-based information about sexuality.
>
> ABC found out about it, and did an online interview with them, which led to the "Mike and Juliet" show on FOX -- they wanted us to come talk about our story -- it aired last Thursday.
>
> Only the first half of the interview is online: http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/more-faith-equals-better-sex/
>
> But there's also a backstage interview with a pastor (who was also on the show), Joe Beam: http://www.mandjshow.com/videos/christian-sex/
>
> Enjoy! And may your marriages be richly and lavishly blessed!
>
> Shalom, Dena

Awesome! I'm happy for you and your husband.

-Dan

 

Re: My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church! » SteelyDan

Posted by Dena on April 24, 2008, at 23:56:31

In reply to Re: My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church! » Dena, posted by SteelyDan on April 24, 2008, at 9:15:05

Thanks Dan -- it was truly unique ... people backstage, the hairdressers, staff and make-up artists, kept pulling us aside, whispering that they were Christians, and had questions about sex, but had no where to go -- no one in church would discuss it.

What a shame -- what a terrible legacy to have inherited, and to pass on to our children...!

May this generation brake the code of silence and shame, and come to see sex through God's gracious eyes -- it's supposed to be hot and holy...!

Shalom, Dena

"The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the
unquestioned answers."

"We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to
learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West

"Naked is having no clothes on. Nekkid is having no clothes on and
being up to something."

"Our truth, when it becomes the ONLY truth, ceases to be truth."

"While we're not fearful of tasting new things, we don't necessarily
swallow all that we taste."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Re: My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church! » Dena

Posted by SteelyDan on April 25, 2008, at 10:28:49

In reply to Re: My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church! » SteelyDan, posted by Dena on April 24, 2008, at 23:56:31

> Thanks Dan -- it was truly unique ... people backstage, the hairdressers, staff and make-up artists, kept pulling us aside, whispering that they were Christians, and had questions about sex, but had no where to go -- no one in church would discuss it.
>
> What a shame -- what a terrible legacy to have inherited, and to pass on to our children...!
>
> May this generation brake the code of silence and shame, and come to see sex through God's gracious eyes -- it's supposed to be hot and holy...!
>
> Shalom, Dena
>
> "The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the
> unquestioned answers."
>
> "We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to
> learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West
>
> "Naked is having no clothes on. Nekkid is having no clothes on and
> being up to something."
>
> "Our truth, when it becomes the ONLY truth, ceases to be truth."
>
> "While we're not fearful of tasting new things, we don't necessarily
> swallow all that we taste."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, Sex is a gift from God that is supposed to be enjoyed between a husband and wife.

One of the ends for which sex was created was to symbolize to us the hidden things of God. One of the functions of human marriage is to express the nature of the union between Christ and the Church.

-Dan

 

Re: My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church! » SteelyDan

Posted by Dena on April 25, 2008, at 14:08:41

In reply to Re: My Television Adventure...! Sex and Church! » Dena, posted by SteelyDan on April 25, 2008, at 10:28:49

> Yes, Sex is a gift from God that is supposed to be enjoyed between a husband and wife.
>
> One of the ends for which sex was created was to symbolize to us the hidden things of God. One of the functions of human marriage is to express the nature of the union between Christ and the Church.
>
> -Dan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Absolutely, Dan, sex is physical, emotional and spiritual. It's both for the here and now, and as a symbol of the union of our relationship with the Lamb ... it's that "great mystery."

The travesty I keep running into, within the Body, is that far too many Christians have believed a historical lie -- based on Gnosticism, that says, "sex is of the flesh; flesh is sinful; therefore sex is sinful." We have folks like Augustine saying (paraphrased), "if a married couple is enjoying sex 'too much' they are sinning." You know, as if the only right way to have sex, is to be trying to procreate, missionary position only, and for heaven's sake, don't crack a grin!"

As if sex were a "necessary evil" that God has allowed ONLY for the purpose of making babies.

As if God had to "turn His face" from us while we're "doing the nasty" because He's so offended...!

NO! He is right there, with us in the moment, rejoicing, encocuraging us to "drink deeply" of one another -- the act of making love in marriage is as holy a momoent as communion...!

Unfortunately, we have scores of Christians who are unable to enjoy sex because of the wrong beliefs (the lies) they believe (& which they attribute to God). We build up extra-biblical rules to keep us from enjoying sex, and we carry this sense of shame about sex and our bodies -- and when a couple struggles in some way, the shame they feel keeps them from seeking help -- even if they do overcome the shame, and go to someone in the Church, they're turned away, or given pathetically inappropriate advice.

In my mind, this just sets up the perpetuation of the problem -- and we're passing on this dysfunctional legacy to our children. Plus, we're maligning the nature of God, who created sex in the first place...! Anyone who thinks God is anti-sex, or anti-pleasure has not given much thought to how God created the body (& the female body in particular), with entire organs created JUST for the sole purpose of pleasure (with no connection to procreation whatsoever...!).

In addition, if anyone reads the Hebrew-to-English version of the Song of Solomon, and understands the nuances of the poetic symbolism, one would be shocked (and/or gratified, depending on one's beliefs) at the erotic messages, and the earthy implications of what God put in the Bible...!

Ok, climbing down off of my soapbox now... this is a subject for which I feel great passion (pun noted and intended)!

Shalom, Dena

"The unanswered questions aren't nearly as dangerous as the
unquestioned answers."

"We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking only to
learn that it is God shaking them." - Charles West

"Naked is having no clothes on. Nekkid is having no clothes on and
being up to something."

"Our truth, when it becomes the ONLY truth, ceases to be truth."

"While we're not fearful of tasting new things, we don't necessarily
swallow all that we taste."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. If any married Christians would be interested in a safe, well-moderated, honest website/ministry that deals with God's perspective of sex in marriage, check out www.themarriagebed.com


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