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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rshard on May 20, 2004, at 21:27:04
Is this my fault?? J and i were married for 5 yrs. She divorced me and return back for 4 more yrs. I promised her a lot things, such as a baby(which she can not have because of hysterectomy before we were married), continuing education, be around often, listen and i didn't keep my promise on only two of them. Baby and education.
She was promoted in her job, I hardly ever saw her and when i did she was arriving late at night from her job,salary employees stay longer than hourly, we talk small talk and she would go to sleep. On weekends she worked also. How can we have a children(adopt) if you are never home. I let her know if we do decide to have children i would want her home, we'll struggle because of todays time, but we'll manage. "What about foster care?" she asked. i told her if you don't mind what race they are. "oh yeah" she said. It didn't bother me what race. We discuss this for awhile.
J asked me if we can have a dog? I frowned at the idea, because it's alot of responsibility, but i gave in. The dog, a mini-dachsund. This was last year.
J went to her therapist for a follow up for her medication, Paxil. The therapist was suprise that we are still together. She came in and told me that, I want to be selfish now. I want to do what i want to do. This was just two months ago.
J. told me "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Huh??? She is also quitting her job at the end of the year. ?? J met this guy on the internet and he assured her a child, don't have to work, and as long if she moves to his state(AZ). "Who is this guy?" I asked. She has never lied to me and she told me. He's self employed, divorce from his childhood sweetheart, has a 8yr old son(adopted), he's my age, there is some resemblence of me, so i've been told.
The problem that i'm having is I'm hurting inside and I don't see a solution. I'm a nice a guy. I never laid hand on her, which her previous boyfriend did. I'm the not the type who "if i can't have her,no one is" Her previous guy did. She even told me that she wanted to have a child with him???What happen?? why all of the sudden change?? She wants to be friends. How can I, when someone else is making her happy? I'm beating myself up with these kind of questions.
Anykind of feedback would help.
Posted by Jai Narayan on May 27, 2004, at 7:54:15
In reply to She left me, to someone on the internet., posted by rshard on May 20, 2004, at 21:27:04
The whole situation sounds so painful. I hope you have supportive friends and relatives.
This may seem like a weird question but.. What were you getting out of this relationship? It sounds like you were giving a lot but... what you were getting?
You don't have to answer that question....it's just something to think about.
I have been though the struggles of many relationships and it never gets easier.
PB is a wonderful site to get support.
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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