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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by octopusprime on August 11, 2004, at 1:09:18
grandpa died monday. my flight home is saturday. then we put the "fun" back in funeral.
my uncle died last summer.
my grandma died the summer before that.
my aunt died the summer before that.
my other grandma died six months before my aunt.and my friend went missing, another family friend died. it seems like a lot of death. people die. and i go to funerals.
and we party. we don't have family reunions any more, why? if somebody kicks the can once a year, it counts as a reunion, right?
the service for grandpa includes a big drunken party in the back room of a restaurant walking distance from the funeral home. now there's putting the fun back in funeral!
but i'm sad, i feel wavery talking to mom, i know darwinism has killed off the old and sick part of the family tree, now there will be disintegration, and my mom is so sad and i worry that she will start drinking and i am scared for her.
my grandpa was (i typed is, freudian, eh) an old man, he lived a good life, he was suffering, in a terrible way he is better off dead ... but i am still sad ...
so i suck it up and pretend to be fine. go to work, go do things, do my job, take time off for the trip home and suffer behind closed doors because that's what i always do. is it the sign of a martyr complex?
and to think i thought mom was lying when she said grandpa was going to die. i thought she was hysterical. she was right after all.
i meet with a shrink on friday for a new medication regime. i wasn't doing well before this happened. i'm sure this isn't helping. will they give me the right meds if i'm a mess?
and i still have to train the new guy at work that started on monday. welcome to <company>. i care about you! what a load. he's lucky i'm polite.
i'm rambling, i ramble a lot on here these days, i don't know quite what else to do with myself ... i go out but the effect of that doesn't last, i come home and i have to let it all go ...
poor grandpa. i'll cry now.
Posted by Shar on August 11, 2004, at 1:18:06
In reply to back here again, posted by octopusprime on August 11, 2004, at 1:09:18
When death(s) combine with DXs, it can be especially hard. And, much more complicated. It's difficult (IMO) sometimes to separate the two, and their interaction.
I hope you will allow your grief, concerns, worries to flow through you, and not hold them in.
Take care,
Shar
Posted by Jai Narayan on August 11, 2004, at 21:58:17
In reply to back here again, posted by octopusprime on August 11, 2004, at 1:09:18
I know what you mean, sometimes it just seems like more people have died than lived. I went through losing my parents and a few friends. Then my friends are losing their parents and a new born baby died. Nothing worse than a baby dying.
Sometimes it seems like all I do is grieve. Waves of it. Life is filled with death. I really don't know how to get used to it myself.
I wish you the best. Remember we are here and open to hearing your saddness to the fullest. Take care.
Posted by fallsfall on August 13, 2004, at 11:02:19
In reply to back here again, posted by octopusprime on August 11, 2004, at 1:09:18
Posted by gardenergirl on August 13, 2004, at 11:40:13
In reply to Re: back here again, posted by Jai Narayan on August 11, 2004, at 21:58:17
OP,
My thoughts are with you and your family. I think in all families, especially large ones are yours sounds like, there comes a time when this happens. It still hurts like heck. When my gramma died a few years ago, my feelings were so torn. I was filled with grief and yet she had been sick with dementia for so long and had been so anxious and overwhelmed that it was also a blessing.And my family reunites too. And we laugh and sing and cry. I think it's healing. I hope you find your time with your family healing as well.
Take care,
gg
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