![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by just plain jane on November 27, 2004, at 19:32:50
My father told me he is proud of me.
Because I showed him all the things I had gotten with a retroactive lump sum check this summer.
Not because I am me, just because I got a whole bunch of tools, two good vehicles, some powerful grounds maintenance equipment, a couple pair of kevlar & steel-toed sawyer's boots (winter and summer pairs), a couple saddles and a chitload of tack, another horse, some fence (which I put up, and, oh, yeah, another thirty acres of land.
This is the first and only time he has ever told me he is proud of me.
And it's because I got stuff.
Not because I made good selections and spent my money wisely and usefully. Just because I amassed stuff.
Well, gee, I AM pleased to have heard the words come out of his mouth.
However, how about when I graduated high school?
Basic Training in the Army?
Got my first, second or third college degrees?
That my son is a good person whom I raised alone?
That I have maintained my integrity and principles throughout a most... difficult... adulthood thus far?
That I quit smoking, drinking, doing drugs (all years ago, but still...)?
That I don't have yet another poor choice in male companions (I am alone, and expect to stay that way for the foreseeable future)?That I am working toward mental health?
Ahhhh, spit. He's eighty years old and will never accept that I am who I am and am not likely to become who/what he'd like me to be.
He'll never accept that I do the things I enjoy because I enjoy them, not because I want to/am trying to/or think I am, a guy. My interests just happen to lie in the realm of tools and vehicles, building, improving; all the stuff he was brought up to believe is the exclusive world of men.
Well, crap! At least I am heterosexual.
He's still waiting for me to meet and marry that one man who will "take care of you in the manner to which you would like to become accustomed", which really means in the manner to which HE THINKS I should be happy to become accustomed. The manner in which he perceives women; the 1940's ideal wife.
I guess he never should have taught me how to use a hammer.
just plain disgusted jane
Posted by just plain jane on November 27, 2004, at 19:36:44
In reply to such a thrill, posted by just plain jane on November 27, 2004, at 19:32:50
my father. I appreciate that I still have him around. I am thankful he wasn't an evil bassturd and that he stuck around as a dad.
Don't need no et cetera.
Thanks
just plain he won't even call me by my real name jane
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 27, 2004, at 19:57:32
In reply to such a thrill, posted by just plain jane on November 27, 2004, at 19:32:50
It's amazing how we crave those words from our parents.
I guess I like hearing it from anyone who really knows what I am doing.
Positive support is not such a bad thing?
Well, I think you are doing great!
If I was your dad....
it's a stretch for me to even imagine...
being a male much less your dad.
But if I was, I would have made all those positive messages seem like normal.
You would have said..."okay okay I'm sick of hearing all the appreciations".
It's just a shame he wasn't there for you in the way he could have been.
Please have a wonderful Saturday night.
You are the best!
jai
Posted by Shar on November 27, 2004, at 23:43:00
In reply to such a thrill, posted by just plain jane on November 27, 2004, at 19:32:50
Jane,
Well, if MY child (and I do, indeed, have one) called saying all those things he's accomplished, I would be smiling, and saying "No Way!! Another 30 acres!" or "Two pairs of boots! How totally cool!" or "OMG, don't tell me you mean a REAL horse!"I would be so proud and happy, and so pleased that YOUR life is good. (Much better than mine, I think.)
I'm sorry you didn't get that. Everyone deserves it, even if they aren't as successful as you. That's not a diss to you....it just means, as a parent, if my son calls and says he's been made night manager at the local submarine sandwich shop, I'm just as thrilled as other parents would be when their child got their first, second or third college degree.
You've obviously done wonderful things, and I hope you can have a part of you be proud and celebrate INSIDE of you, maybe someday.
I understand not getting support for the 1, 2, 3 degrees, or the fact that there is a B on a report card instead of all A's. Or, a 3.78 is NOT the same as a 4.0!
But, that's the stuff that keeps us sicker than we need to be.
Anyhow, it sounds like you're doing wonderfully well, and I'm glad you can love your dad despite the lack of support, and I'm glad your son is doing well!
Woo Hoo! You go girl!!
Shar
Posted by just plain jane on November 28, 2004, at 23:29:05
In reply to Re: such a thrill » just plain jane, posted by Shar on November 27, 2004, at 23:43:00
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 29, 2004, at 20:18:49
In reply to Thanks for lettin me pissNwhine (nm), posted by just plain jane on November 28, 2004, at 23:29:05
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Grief | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.