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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 5:15:24
And another too
Another
Who was not known by me.It hurts.
Time passes
Time passes and people move on
As they need to
As they must
As they have to
In order to continue on in this world
You need to focus forward
Focus forward
Pay your rememberences sometimes
But mostly focus forward
One can't function in the present
If one gives too much to the past.And people remember intermittently.
I know that.
Its not to chastice
Its not to condemn
Its not to prescribe a different course of action
Its just to lament
For what once was
Whatever that was
Something thats past
Something that I miss
Though I don't even trust my perception to tell me what it was
And the stories we tell ourselves in the present
Construct the past
And round and around time goes
And there are conversations still
Unfinished
Is it morbid to continue?
Perhaps.
Can one talk to the dead?
Perhaps.
I don't understand the norms
If I offend I'm sorry
But I miss him.
What once was
Whatever that was
Sorry
So sorry
Posted by SometimesBlue on August 24, 2007, at 9:12:53
In reply to Pseudoname is dead, posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 5:15:24
If it's ok to ask, how did it happen?
I didn't know him, as I'm fairly new to Babble, but i read a lot of post by him, and well, one sometimes gets to know people through them...I'm so sorry for your loss...
Posted by SometimesBlue on August 24, 2007, at 15:27:04
In reply to Re: Pseudoname is dead, posted by SometimesBlue on August 24, 2007, at 9:12:53
Posted by karen_kay on August 28, 2007, at 21:05:56
In reply to SORRY FOR THE QUESTION... (nm), posted by SometimesBlue on August 24, 2007, at 15:27:04
i don't think it's disrespectful to ask.
if it weren't for my blasted memory (and that dreaded f*cking fear of being wrong) i'd tell you. if i get the gumption and no one else who knows answers, i'll archive and see if it was ever known.
there's no harm in a question, not in my opinion anyway.
take care,
kk
Posted by gardenergirl on August 29, 2007, at 10:47:56
In reply to why be sorry dear? » SometimesBlue, posted by karen_kay on August 28, 2007, at 21:05:56
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20061129/msgs/710231.html
Kind and dear pseudoname ended his life in late 2006.
He mattered.
I miss him.gg
Posted by SometimesBlue on August 29, 2007, at 12:33:38
In reply to why be sorry dear? » SometimesBlue, posted by karen_kay on August 28, 2007, at 21:05:56
Sometimes, i don't know, i'm not sure if asking about a death is too hard to answer...so, i felt bad thinking that maybe i triggered a sadness that should have been left alone in the post.
I have read his posts, he seemed like beautiful person.
Posted by karen_kay on August 29, 2007, at 21:40:22
In reply to answer to question *****trigger*********, posted by gardenergirl on August 29, 2007, at 10:47:56
i was getting around to it, i promise.
and your words are very true indeed.
thanks again dear. it's much appreciated!
kk
Posted by karen_kay on August 29, 2007, at 21:45:31
In reply to Re: why be sorry dear? » karen_kay, posted by SometimesBlue on August 29, 2007, at 12:33:38
i don't know? maybe honesty and discussion helps with grief? or maybe talking about pseudoname keeps the memories alive?
i'm no grief specialist. i don't have any answers to the questions either hun. but i don't see a reason to be sorry for asking a sincere question either dear.
take care,
kk
Posted by Deneb on August 29, 2007, at 22:40:24
In reply to Pseudoname is dead, posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 5:15:24
I miss him too, even though I never really knew him. Sometimes I feel like we have to remember him all the time.
I can see him in my mind clearly. I still remember what he looked like. I have some trouble realizing that he's actually gone now. I'm glad I met him.
Sigh. I wish he wasn't dead. :-(
I hate this.
Posted by Sigismund on September 11, 2007, at 1:47:08
In reply to Re: Pseudoname is dead, posted by Deneb on August 29, 2007, at 22:40:24
I guess grief is a way of keeping the dead person alive in our hearts, and we do that until we are prepared to let the memory go, or we ourselves die.
But until then it's good to remember.
In this disposable and amnesic world where people are often not valued, we have our memories left to keep faith with; and we don't want to easily forget our friends.
Not that you do. You get more and more used to dead friends as you get older, until finally perhaps you live with them, or so I hope.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 11, 2007, at 9:19:56
In reply to Re: Pseudoname is dead, posted by Sigismund on September 11, 2007, at 1:47:08
Posted by Sigismund on October 13, 2007, at 18:31:39
In reply to Re: Pseudoname is dead, posted by Sigismund on September 11, 2007, at 1:47:08
My doctor has one of those prayer flags that read.....
'In the end what matters most is
How well you lived
How well you loved
How well you learned to let go.'Maybe there is a balance to be found there?
Posted by gardenergirl on November 15, 2007, at 0:03:13
In reply to Re: Pseudoname is dead, posted by Sigismund on October 13, 2007, at 18:31:39
Posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2009, at 20:28:35
In reply to Pseudoname is dead, posted by meeple on August 23, 2007, at 5:15:24
I still think about you dude. A lot. Its kinda weird 'cause a lot of posting names die. Break apart. Change into different identities. All kinds of weirdness. But what happened to you was different. But I still miss you and think about you a lot. I feel bad that I didn't email you when you weren't around for a time. I guess sometimes I did and sometimes I didn't. You came back every time. Except that time. I can't help wondering whether my emailing you would have made a difference. I suspect not. Hard to live for just one post. May have put it off for another time. Hard to know whether it is kinder to stick around or to go. For you I mean. I hope you are at peace. The absence of pain. I hope you have that. That things are better now in not being painful. My Dad died. Last week. Found out about 2 months ago that he had lung cancer. Was given 3 months to live. He is gone. Doesn't feel real. My brother died when I was an undergrad. Guys die. Mothers never leave you. I hope you are at peace dude. You are remembered well. Kindly. I promise you: I will never forget.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2009, at 20:37:11
In reply to Re: Pseudoname is dead, posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2009, at 20:28:35
I've had this urge for a while. To respond to all your posts. There are some that weren't responded to. Some that I didn't respond to because I didn't know what to say at the time. I get this urge to go back through and respond to them all. There is something kinda morbid about that, I guess. Things would be worse if it was like I killed the conversation. Weird. Sorry. Just get this urge to do that sometimes. For you to know that I didn't not respond through lack of caring. But you are gone and it probably doesn't make any difference to you now.
I learned about this notion that I can't really spell or pronounce. Eudimonia. Plato talks about it (the properly spelt version). It is kind of like happiness but it isn't a psychological notion. It isn't about feelings of pleasure. Its kind of related to welfare and health and freedom in a bunch of weird ways. The thought is that that is what we seek... Lives can be better or worse (for the person) with respect to that. I can't explain it very well. But the thing was that your life could be better or worse (in that sense) for things that happen outside the scope of your life. So if you had plans that were made during your life and then you go... Then whether those plans result in a good outcome or whether they don't reach fruition after you are gone makes a difference to your life. So your life can be a better life for your plans being fulfilled after your life whereas your life can be a worse life for your plans failing to be fulfilled after your life. Even if you never come to know of it. An example that is kind of comprehensible is that your life seems to be worse if your partner is cheating on you (even if you never come to learn that fact) than if they aren't.
So... Maybe my regard for you now helps your life be better. If that makes any sense. Not in the psychological sense of feeling better. But in some way that mattered to you during your life that helps make your life better once you've gone. If that makes any sense. I wish I could help make things better. I'm sorry.
Posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2009, at 20:57:03
In reply to Re: Pseudoname is dead, posted by alexandra_k on April 21, 2009, at 20:37:11
Maybe its partly cause I didn't feel like I got to grieve. Parts kinda did but I didn't really get to grieve along with everyone else. I didn't get to grieve for my father either. Well, in the end I did but I didn't get to go to the funeral to grieve along with everyone else. I feel sad that I never got to meet you in person. Babble meets used to mean a lot to me. There was a point where they really meant a great deal. I would have given anything in the world to get to one. Then there was a point where I would have given anything in the world to get to one (except this one thing) and it basically came down to precisely that. And now, well... They feel kinda worthless. But I regret not meeting you. Guess you are an ideal for me now. Cause I don't know you really. Don't know that much about you. Just a symbol for kindness and pain. And that doesn't feel kinda fair. Cause you are more than that. And maybe I don't really have a right to grieve when I don't even know who the f*ck you were or who you were really. I'm sorry dude. I'm so sorry.
This is the end of the thread.
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