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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 22:27:31
My therapist's office is the place I go when I need a safe space for creative visualization. The light and room colors are so wonderfully soothing. No matter what time of day or what the weather, there is just a wonderful glow to the room. It's like a Thomas Kinkade painting. And tomorrow is my last visit there before he moves.
I feel like I'm losing a good friend. Or even part of the therapy experience. I'm afraid it just won't feel as safe somewhere else. He's not really that effective over the phone. How do I know he can be magic anywhere but in that office? In fact, maybe it's the office that's magic, and he's just there.
There's a lot of objectively rotten things in my life going on right now. But somehow losing that office is right at the top of the list for me, and I suspect it's got a lot to do with my recent upsurge in anxiety, although there are lots of contributors. And yet that feels so foolish. It's just a room. But it's not just a room. :(
Posted by justyourlaugh on June 26, 2003, at 22:53:01
In reply to I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 22:27:31
d...
my pdoc office{room}is just horrible...
he heads the dept. at the hospital and hardly sees it himself...
i wonder if the "loss" remindes you , or , if its something you went through before...loss of a safe space..
dinah,,i hope it works out well for you..
mabe you will see your "saftey" is within yourself...
your created your safe spot because you chose to..
choose again ,,,pick a new one,,you are so loving and strong...no doubt about you ability to do so...look to yourself d ...its there..we all can see it...
j
Posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 23:10:46
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on June 26, 2003, at 22:53:01
Thank you JYL. I truly wish I could find that safe space within. But within all I see are shifting sands, and shadows and beasties. I wish I could find that safe space in God, but that ability doesn't seem to be one of my gifts. It's rotten to have your sense of safety be something external. Something fundamentally unreliable. And yet so it is. My therapist assures me that someday the safety I feel with him will transfer to an inner safety, but I don't see much firm ground there for it to settle on.
Oh never mind me. I'm morose tonight.
Posted by fallsfall on June 26, 2003, at 23:53:35
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 23:10:46
Dinah,
My therapist moved a couple of years ago. I was pretty nervous about it. It was just down the street, but it was "different". She brought her furniture with her, so we sat in the same chairs - that helped a lot. Her new office was quite a bit larger than the old, so that was a little different. But when I sat in the chair and looked across at her, SHE was the same and that was all that mattered.
Notice things like what he has on his walls - those will go with him. Ask if the furniture is moving with him. And ask who the therapist will be - I'm betting it will be him.
Nervous is very appropriate, but if I could settle fairly easily you probably can, too.
Good luck.
Posted by justyourlaugh on June 27, 2003, at 0:03:51
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 23:10:46
d....
i have no inner saftey...
i am so lost..
i am trying so hard to be me but i cant find her..
i am safe on the couch..
"god" is a connection..but i cant handle organization of it all.
i was thinking about looking into another form of salvation....siencetoligy,,,buddahism,,witchcraft.....
my pdoc is so different from me...i trust him..
dear dinah...it is with in you...
is it not so bizzar we know what to say to others,the way to live our lives,,but cant seem to put our intellegents to work for us?
(not a speller)
i refuse to beleive i cant have it...
i am so sad that i never had "it"
j
Posted by Dinah on June 27, 2003, at 8:02:46
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on June 26, 2003, at 23:53:35
The furniture will be going with him. It's his. And the wall hangings and knick knacks have long since been memorized. Still, he let me take photos too.
It's funny. I can't recall what he looks like from session to session, but I can vividly picture what the office looks like. So he's ephemeral and I can't carry him around during the week like I can the office. Of course, I can remember what he sounds like.
Until he gained my trust, about five years into therapy, I used to tell him that it was his office I needed - not him. That I could just pay him to come sit in his office and he didn't need to be there. Did I tell you he wasn't all that fond of me for a long time? :D Our therapeutic alliance was not strong on the surface.
I have a tendency to dissociate when I get upset. He would say that it looked like I was watching angels dance in the corners of the room, angels that only I could see.
And he used to have this rug. The pattern along the edge looked like this
(_________O_________)(_________O_________)
And I would calm myself within the session by visually imagining gently rolling the balls back and forth between the "cathers". I miss that rug.
Ah, look at me. Sitting here reminiscing about a space. :)
Posted by Dinah on June 27, 2003, at 8:04:35
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on June 27, 2003, at 0:03:51
I've heard that there are people with a sense of inner safety. It just seems so foreign to me that it's hard to believe.
Sigh.
I hope someday we can both find it.
Posted by Penny on June 27, 2003, at 9:01:11
In reply to I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 22:27:31
My old therapist changed offices while I was seeing her. Although it was strange at first, in the end I liked her new office better. In this case, she was seeing me at first in an office she shared with other people. When she left the practice to go out on her own, she moved, but she didn't take anything with her as the stuff in the office wasn't her own. The one thing I remember most about the old office was this wolf picture hanging on the wall behind where she sat. I love wolves and once told her how much I enjoyed looking at that picture. She said that some people were disturbed by it and preferred that it not be there.
When she moved, the new stuff was all hers. The couch was nicer and more comfortable, the lighting was softer, there were big windows you could see out of, although they were to my back, her degrees and certificates were hanging on the wall. As I said, it was strange at first, but in the end, I liked it better.
Now I'm with a new therapist in a new office. And her office is much different than my last therapist's office. This one is more dimly lit, busier with more books and more 'clutter', has a comfortable couch and these cool chairs where she sits. But my favorite thing? She has a bird feeder that sits in her window. It curves into the room like a little ledge with a window on it so you can see inside. The birds come and feed on the ledge and you can get a good look at them. There's a pair of cardinals we've watched for a long time, and one time we saw them feed each other. She really likes birds and has been a birdwatcher most of her life. So, what did I do? Bought my own bird feeder to hang on my balcony, and whenever I watch the birds, I think of her. It's a really nice reminder of the safety I feel with her.
I have confidence that things will be okay. The new space will be uncomfortable at first, but you'll grow used to it soon, I think.
Penny
> My therapist's office is the place I go when I need a safe space for creative visualization. The light and room colors are so wonderfully soothing. No matter what time of day or what the weather, there is just a wonderful glow to the room. It's like a Thomas Kinkade painting. And tomorrow is my last visit there before he moves.
>
> I feel like I'm losing a good friend. Or even part of the therapy experience. I'm afraid it just won't feel as safe somewhere else. He's not really that effective over the phone. How do I know he can be magic anywhere but in that office? In fact, maybe it's the office that's magic, and he's just there.
>
> There's a lot of objectively rotten things in my life going on right now. But somehow losing that office is right at the top of the list for me, and I suspect it's got a lot to do with my recent upsurge in anxiety, although there are lots of contributors. And yet that feels so foolish. It's just a room. But it's not just a room. :(
Posted by fallsfall on June 27, 2003, at 9:07:48
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on June 27, 2003, at 8:02:46
Pictures! Oh my.
I'm in the Northeast - is that too far away for me to see your therapist? You said he was taking new patients.
He's a gem, and you'll be so glad to see him that the room won't matter really soon. Good thing he didn't move in the first 5 years 8^) !
I expect a full interior decorator's report.
My group therapist moved her office from a lovely old house to a modern Condo-office building. I was quite disappointed (and told her so!!). I was so glad to see her that it didn't matter. And she has a sand table that I really wanted to use (I could have picked her... and her sand table).
Have a good session today. I always get ice cream after my session - it helps me return to the world.
Posted by Penny on June 27, 2003, at 9:16:33
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on June 27, 2003, at 9:07:48
Posted by Tabitha on June 27, 2003, at 14:29:31
In reply to I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 22:27:31
Sorry dear. Maybe the new office will grow on you? When do you get to see it?
Posted by noa on June 28, 2003, at 12:58:42
In reply to I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 22:27:31
I know. I think the space is important, too. It's kind of a home away from home. My therapist's office is not much to speak of, but I've grown so used to it and the predictability of it is so comforting. Once, when there was construction on the building, the noise was awful, so we met in another office suite on the other side of the building. It was very noticeable to me how different it felt to sit in a different office.
My therapist has an oriental rug with the pattern that is, I think, supposed to represent elephant footsteps. Sometimes, the rug is where my eyes go when I'm thinking or having strong feelings, etc.
I think it is so great that he let you take pictures! Did you sneak in a photo of his face so you can remember him between sessions? :-)
It is a loss, but I know you will adapt.
Posted by noa on June 28, 2003, at 12:59:28
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow » Dinah, posted by Penny on June 27, 2003, at 9:01:11
I love the birdfeeders in the office--that is so cool!
Posted by loser on June 29, 2003, at 1:13:05
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow » Penny, posted by noa on June 28, 2003, at 12:59:28
New here. First time I've ever heard anyone talk about the importance of the safe space. Have had similar difficulties with therapists moving office. Thought it was just me - it worked out for me even though it was difficult at first - sure hope it does for you too.
Posted by Dinah on June 29, 2003, at 2:31:42
In reply to Re: I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by loser on June 29, 2003, at 1:13:05
It'll just take time.
Welcome to Babble!
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 9:26:39
In reply to I'm losing my safe space tomorrow, posted by Dinah on June 26, 2003, at 22:27:31
And my irritable bowel syndrome apparently doesn't like the idea. :(
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 9:31:07
In reply to Re: Today's the day, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 9:26:39
He just called to say move isn't complete. We will meet elsewhere temporarily today. I'll keep the Immodium for next week, the last session before his trip. :( :( Bad timing.
Posted by Penny on July 3, 2003, at 10:05:45
In reply to Re: Actually it's not. lol., posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 9:31:07
How unsettling to be expecting to meet in the new office only to discover that you're not meeting there today afterall, and then to know that the last session before his trip will be in the new office. :(
I'm sorry...
What does elsewhere mean, exactly? At the old office?
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 10:08:15
In reply to Re: Oh my... » Dinah, posted by Penny on July 3, 2003, at 10:05:45
At the old clinic, not his office. So just a temporary spot.
I do wish the timing was better. I never know if I'm going to have a temper tantrum about something. :(
Maybe it will turn out ok.
Posted by fallsfall on July 3, 2003, at 21:28:54
In reply to Re: Oh my... » Penny, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 10:08:15
I hate surprises. I can manage OK if I know what is happening in advance, but last minute changes are always unsettling.
I hope today's session went well. How long is his trip for?
The best thing about his new office? He'll be there.
Posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 23:31:11
In reply to Re: Oh my... » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on July 3, 2003, at 21:28:54
It was a fabulous session. Like the last one, it was really laid back and relaxed. So we were able to speak frankly about a lot of things without either of us getting defensive. Real life, non therapy related things. Pretty cool.
He'll be gone for a week and a day, but he's seeing me the morning he leaves so it'll really only be a week. I thought that was pretty darn nice of him.
I'm still worried about the new office, getting there, and the outrageous parking fees, but am feeling so positive towards him at the moment that I doubt I'll pitch a fit towards either his office or his trip.
Posted by Penny on July 4, 2003, at 10:19:29
In reply to Re: Oh my... » fallsfall, posted by Dinah on July 3, 2003, at 23:31:11
> It was a fabulous session. Like the last one, it was really laid back and relaxed. So we were able to speak frankly about a lot of things without either of us getting defensive. Real life, non therapy related things. Pretty cool.
Isn't that great? I love having real-life conversations with my therapist.
I also love when she uses anecdotes, sometimes about herself, to make a point. I was talking about something man-related one time, and she told me about a not-so-good girl scouts experience she had. Seeing her as a real person is a wonderful thing.
>
> He'll be gone for a week and a day, but he's seeing me the morning he leaves so it'll really only be a week. I thought that was pretty darn nice of him.Very thoughtful. My therapist usually sees me on Thursday, but she saw me on Monday of this week because she left on Thursday morning, and then will see me on the Monday after she returns, and probably again that Thursday.
>
> I'm still worried about the new office, getting there, and the outrageous parking fees, but am feeling so positive towards him at the moment that I doubt I'll pitch a fit towards either his office or his trip.Parking fees? That sucks.
But I'm so glad to hear you sounding positive. Hoping it will continue!
P
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