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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2004, at 8:36:09
yesterday i walked in my t office very depressed and found it very difficult to even speak..
after a few minutes he suggested we didnt need to see each other as often...
i wasnt bringing anything to the table..
having troubles starting conversations ..
c wouldnt come in to see him..
i felt i wronged him ...
i even started to trust him...only to get rejected..
i left angry and said some unkind words..never to return...
i was shaken and fell two steps back into distructiveness...
today i move forward alone...
j
Posted by Dinah on February 25, 2004, at 9:04:28
In reply to i want a do over too!, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2004, at 8:36:09
JYL, I'm so sorry. That must have been so painful. :(
You trust him, and I know that like many of us you don't trust easily. So perhaps there's good reason to trust him. Would you even consider trying to talk to him again? Or writing him a letter, talking about how hard it is for you to find words sometimes, but how you'd like to continue trying? I've had that conversation with my therapist, as my mind totally blanks sometimes.
I've stormed out of therapy five or six times and my therapist was always very compassionate and professional about taking me back without shaming me. Are you willing to give your therapist a chance?
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2004, at 10:18:26
In reply to Re: i want a do over too! » justyourlaugh, posted by Dinah on February 25, 2004, at 9:04:28
thanks for the response dinah..
i was going to email you because i think i am being watched when i post here by him.
i get paranoid along with my depression ...
i am terribly worried he will call me..so i carry the phone around with me so if he does, i wont answer it?
i am foolish to think he might care enough too call.
i dont want to see him again. his face changed from a kind gentle man into a hurtful uncaring social worker...
i could see it all in his eyes.
j
Posted by Dinah on February 25, 2004, at 10:27:44
In reply to Re: i want a do over too! » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2004, at 10:18:26
Sweetie, are you willing to consider that you might be mistaken about what you saw in his eyes? I have been, frequently, with my therapist. You've known him for a long time as a kind, gentle man. It's unlikely that your long term perception is wrong while your brief perception at a time when you're not feeling really well is more correct.
My therapist never called me after I quit. I always had to call him. I think it's a rule or something. So don't feel offended or hurt if he doesn't call. You can tell a whole lot more about his reaction if you call him.
You haven't said anything here that he shouldn't see. In fact, I think it would be a good thing if you could tell him exactly what you said here. In all likelihood, JYL, he is a kind, gentle man who may be a tad frustrated at feeling unable to help you as much as he would like. If you could find the courage to tell him how he has helped you, and what is holding you back from letting him help you more, he may surprise you and come through for you in a way you didn't expect.
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2004, at 12:22:21
In reply to Re: i want a do over too! » justyourlaugh, posted by Dinah on February 25, 2004, at 10:27:44
dear abby..i mean dinah..
i thought about your last post over the hour and you are right..
you are so wise my friend.
parts of me wanted to tell him i am drinking everyday again and really not doing very well..
he cant read my mind any more than i can his...even if i think i can.
i went in yesterday for help..true help..
and he didnt know it.
i feel ill.
i always mess things up...but i will go on and help myself today...
i promise that i ******* will write a letter of apology to my t today..
tomorrow i will think about mailing it...
thanks dinah for the wonderful insight..
*******
Posted by fallsfall on February 25, 2004, at 22:08:27
In reply to Re: i want a do over too! » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2004, at 12:22:21
(((((JYL)))))
I'm glad that you are going to start back in a direction towards your therapist.
I will be just on the side cheering you on, and giving you a bit of ice cream when you need a little pick-me-up.
Posted by DaisyM on February 25, 2004, at 23:21:57
In reply to Re: i want a do over too! » justyourlaugh, posted by fallsfall on February 25, 2004, at 22:08:27
JYL -
I just wanted to add that I admire how you continue to struggle. Write the letter, mail it and accept help. You deserve it.
Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2004, at 9:32:21
In reply to Re: i want a do over too! » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on February 25, 2004, at 12:22:21
That's terrific JYL. It was terrific that you went in looking for help, and it's terrific that you are going to try again.
But please think of yourself as doing something really hard and struggling with it, not as messing things up.
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2004, at 12:25:22
In reply to Re: i want a do over too! » justyourlaugh, posted by Dinah on February 26, 2004, at 9:32:21
thanks so very much for all the support..yet again..
i started many letters to my t and they all ended up telling him off in the end..
so , without thinking about the right words i called him and apologized..
i will see him next week to discuss where i go from here...
i think i want to go into a group setting,meeting once or twice a month,,but i am sure there are long waiting list for such a thing .
anyone want to meet up at the bar a couple times a month? jk jk jk
j
Posted by Dinah on February 26, 2004, at 14:35:20
In reply to thanks for the support!, posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2004, at 12:25:22
That's terrific. I know it'll be hard, but try to be as honest as you can next week about your needs. I'm really proud of you. :)
Posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:07:52
In reply to Re: thanks for the support! » justyourlaugh, posted by Dinah on February 26, 2004, at 14:35:20
could it be possible that in therapy some ppl sabatage themselves?
thats what I do i want to speak to him but then mess up and end up hating him and next session i love him again and keep going through these thereputic "dramas" i decide im going to leave him and threaten to walk out and usually only get as far as the door. then i speak to him sometimes but never as much as i want to...
its soooo hard!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by All Done on February 27, 2004, at 0:26:24
In reply to thanks for the support!, posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2004, at 12:25:22
> i started many letters to my t and they all ended up telling him off in the end..
> so , without thinking about the right words i called him and apologized..
JYL,That was a good idea and very brave. Good job and I hope things go well at your next session.
Take care,
All Done
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