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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
I had my last individual session with Bubba yesterday. I brought brownies and muffins, though he told me not too. I must admit, I did ask him what he liked and that's why he told me not to bother with that, as we had stuff to discuss. Well, he had juice out because he said he knew I'd bring something anyway. And to think I was just going to eat them in front of him. The nerve of me...
So, I was Soooo very honest, I swear I thought lightening might strike me dead. But, it didn't. And I was sincere, something very rare for me. I talked aobut the nightmares and he suggested they have to do with my fear of losing control, esp. with my dx. And I talked aobut my boyfriend, and said that I care aobut him and that we'll work things out. He has been trying very hard to work on his issues, as have I. And I talked aobut my father and the fact that I'm not angry with him. I'm angry that I allow his actions to affect me the way they do. And I talked aobut Bubba. I told him that he's a great therapist and in a few years, he'll be even better. And we talked about group.....
About group: I'm going. He explained that this group is a way to talk aobut my "father" issues, if I choose to. He also FINALLY said he understood why I wouldn't want to and that's fine too. that maybe we can table those for a while and if they become too intense then he can swoop me back up for individual, with the permission of his supervisor. And in group, I can work on my relationships with both men and women. And try to form emotional attachments (right, I see that happening.) He made me feel very comfortable with going to group, and he said he thinks it is my best option. He also said, he would have switched me to group a while back, if he had the choice... What does that mean? Maybe he was just trying to make me feel good about the whole thing? Maybe he doesn't like me? Maybe I smell foul? I'll never know, but will be sure to wear extra perfume when I attend group..
Overall, this was the BEST session ever invented... I can beat all of your good sessions with this one, promise! I won't see him for 2 weeks and then it's in group and for some reason I don't feel upset or sad. I feel wonderful. And it feels wonderful to know that if I am having a hard time, he will be able to take me back, one on one for a while. That make sthe difference. I did ask him though, if he'd be able to tell when I wasn't feeling well (as I'm accustomed to hiding it, and hiding it well)... He said, "Of course I will. I know you better than you think."
Hey guys, maybe I'm getting better? What do you think? Actually, I'm sure of it. I feel wonderful! And even if group stinks, I'm certain I'll still learn from it. I'm looking forward to group (did I just say that???)
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 10, 2004, at 8:39:10
In reply to Say it ain't so..., posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
Ah Bubba, could there be a better therapist? I'm sure Bean can only come in a distant second...
I'm very interested to hear what you think about group therapy. Do you think you might be jealous that you are having to share his attention? I know I would.
Meanwhile, I did a bad thing that I know you can understand. An acquaintance of mine asked me for Bean's number. She has OCD. ANd she is BEAUTIFUL. ANd I said Bean is not taking any new patients right now, which is false. I feel awful, but she was too pretty.
Sorry, didn't mean to make this about me!
Posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 8:44:28
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so..., posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 10, 2004, at 8:39:10
LOL! You didn't do a bad thing, you're just protecting your territory...haha! You know the old saying "A woman has to do what a woman has to do..."
> Meanwhile, I did a bad thing that I know you can understand. An acquaintance of mine asked me for Bean's number. She has OCD. ANd she is BEAUTIFUL. ANd I said Bean is not taking any new patients right now, which is false. I feel awful, but she was too pretty.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 10, 2004, at 8:49:12
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so... » Miss Honeychurch, posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 8:44:28
That is for sure, tiny!
There are other Ts who can help her with OCD anyway. She is just too beautiful for words.
Doesn't stop me from feeling guilty though.
Posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 8:57:51
In reply to Say it ain't so..., posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
Hi Karen! Nice to see you again. Still breaking the rules with Bubba, hmmm? Oh well, if he knows you well enough to set out the juice because you're going to bring the muffins anyway...
It sounded like a very bittersweet appointment. You were able to be so honest that it was fearful but you learned something in that sincerity. You really talked about a lot of topics-how long are your sessions usually?
So you're starting in group therapy? What kinds of diagnoses do the other participants have? Or rather, what is the focus and goals of the group? I've been in a lot of different groups, the most recent one was probably the worst for me, because of the mix of depression, anxiety and then people with personality disoders. I didn't find it that helpful for me, although it definitley had positive points. I am confident you will improve socially and be able to learn something from the emotional attachments you form, that is something I definitley took with me. I'll be looking forward to hearing how it goes in group. When do you begin? Will that be your primary therapy then without any talk therapy?
Oh, I saw by the way you want to compete with sessions here...I have to say, I have some cold, hard competitive material here, Karen...(heehee)But I think its wonderful that you felt the way you did coming out. What you expressed here echoes of freedom and that to me is what getting better is all about. I'm glad you're looking forward to going to group and have a positive attitude about it. I think that it is going to be interesting to hear about your experiences with it. Anyone else here going to group actively?
Posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 9:16:07
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so... » tinydancer, posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 10, 2004, at 8:49:12
> That is for sure, tiny!
>
> There are other Ts who can help her with OCD anyway. She is just too beautiful for words.
>
> Doesn't stop me from feeling guilty though.I would feel guilty from stopping someone suffering with DID/MPD from benefitting from his expertise and (frankly,absurdly) high level of patience and kindness to others with the same diagnosis.
But the guilt would probably pass. HAHA!
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2004, at 10:37:45
In reply to Say it ain't so..., posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
I'm really proud of you, Karen.
>So, I was Soooo very honest, I swear I thought lightening might strike me dead. But, it didn't. And I was sincere, something very rare for me.
That is Soooo important. I'm glad that you feel so good about stopping individual, and about starting group. Sounds like you got some the questions about group answered - and he does understand that you may choose not to talk about certain things. You accomplished a lot!!!
Go, Karen, Go, Karen, You Go Girl!
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 10:47:59
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so..., posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 10, 2004, at 8:39:10
Why, there's no other subject (myself excluded) that I'd like to talk about...
I don't think I'll be jealous of sharing him. I think he's so very helpful that we can all benefit from the gosspel, according to Bubba. I don't perceive that to be a problem. He did mention that there is a 39 year old who I could see as a "father figure"! Ha, he doesn't know me. I asked if the man was good lookin and bubba said, yes he is.. BONUS!!! Let's hope his attitude matches his good looks? I wonder htough, if you sleep with someone in your group, is it something the person can discuss openly in the group setting... Hmmmmmm.. Maybe I'll let you know aobut that. See, I'm not impulsive, I'm planning it already!
As for you, I wish I had the courage to turn down a friend like that! Good for you! I had a friend who is very nice looking (of course she doesn't compare to me.....Well, even I'll admit she's better looking than I GASP! Did I jsut say that?).. ask me about my therapist and I recommended him to her. But, I'm in the business of pleasing people, so I just couldn't say step off missy! But, fortunetly, she never followed up. Thank god, because I'd have to spread all sorts of evil lies aobut her during the sessions, just to be certain I'm his favorite... I'm awful like that.. Perhaps you could do that as well?
Posted by DaisyM on March 10, 2004, at 11:19:23
In reply to Of course it's about you, dear » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 10:47:59
Karen,
I'm glad things have turned around and you are making the choices about what to talk about and when. Your spirit is just amazing...I'd like to bottle it!
I'm glad you had such a terrific session and good closure to the individual sessions. It must have been hard to say all that was on your mind.
You are brave and my hero. Did you eat ALL the brownies?!!
Glad you are back. I've missed you.
Daisy
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 11:46:42
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so... » Karen_kay, posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 8:57:51
Sometimes you just have to point me in the right direction.... I missed this one..
My sessions are supposed to be 50 minutes but almost always go over by 10, sometimes 20 minutes if there's no one next. The reason they go over is because I wait until the last minute to talk aobut things, and I think he realizes that just cutting me off would cause me to not share info in the future. He's smart like that.
I know that some of the other participants have PTSD, GAD and problems from abusive parents. The group shares in that they are mostly the same age, with a couple of exceptions. So, although I don't necessarily like the fact that I'll be surrounded with people my age, perhaps I should get used to it? It's bound to happen sooner or later. But, there isn't a distinct dx that we share or certain problems. Just run-of-the-mill stuff, I guess.
I start in 2 weeks and I won't be having any other therapy. At first this thought terrified me, but now I'm confident that it's a good move. Bubba really set my mind at ease about the whole thing. And it helps to know that just in case, he'll be there. I honestly think I'm ready to be done with individual therapy. AND I didn't have nightmares last night! Yahoo!
And I still stand by my previous statement that I had the best session ever. Sorry, no changing my mind. I spent the time talking about me, not asking him questions about himself. And honestly I think I'll be quite comfortable in the group setting. I am adorable, you know.. And with my personality, how could they not love me? I do and that's a start...
Thanks for the post...
Posted by tinydancer on March 10, 2004, at 11:51:11
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so... » tinydancer, posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 11:46:42
Woops, I actually meant this post:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040308/msgs/322842.html
Haha! I forgot about the one you answered now! Nice....
Posted by All Done on March 10, 2004, at 13:36:47
In reply to Say it ain't so..., posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
KK,
Welcome back! Who told you that you could go and get yourself blocked, anyway? Don't do it again or you'll be hearing from me, got it?
I'm so proud of you for being so honest in your last individual session with Bubba. Maybe, after you get to know the others in your group, you can remember how good it feels/felt to be honest with Bubba and use that to open up with them. It could make group more productive for you.
Now, about your session being the BEST session - well, I must say you seem to be living in that fantasy world of yours again. We all know that Bubba doesn't come close to Beefcake when it comes to having good sessions. I mean, honestly, does Bubba have a magic ring? I didn't think so.
All Done
Posted by antigua on March 10, 2004, at 14:35:49
In reply to Say it ain't so..., posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
Posted by Penny on March 10, 2004, at 16:00:30
In reply to I'm so happy you're back Karen_Kay (nm), posted by antigua on March 10, 2004, at 14:35:49
Me too.
:-)P
Posted by Poet on March 10, 2004, at 20:36:35
In reply to Say it ain't so..., posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
Welcome back Karen!
Maybe you can find out how many people are in your group and bring everyone brownies. Maybe be one short on purpose...
I wish I could bring brownies to therapy, I'd just get questioned on if my bulimia is out of control. Like I'd eat a pan of brownies in front of her...
Poet
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 21:07:32
In reply to Re: Of course it's about you, dear, posted by DaisyM on March 10, 2004, at 11:19:23
Sorry, trying not to overpost, so I figured I'd kill 2 birds with one stone.
Falls: Thank you! And yes, being honest and sincere without the added "ego stroke" was quite refreshing. I didn't have an agenda, for the first time in my life and it felt rather good to focus on me. It also felt good not to listen to him babble on forever and ever about himself. And I didn't even ask him any personal questions. Maybe this opens the door for honesty with no agenda on my part? I think it just has to do with my recent very good mood and the fact that this was my chance to be honest, as I don't plan on having to face him alone again. I tend to do that, bottle it up until the very last time I plan on seeing someone alone and just let it all go. But, somehow this didn't have any anger or bitterness to it. And for that I'm glad.
Daisy: You'd like to bottle my spirit, eh? I wish I could too, for those days when I don't always feel this great. But, I promise I'll send you your own special bottle, ok?
Oddly enough, it wasn't hard at all to be honest with him. Now I'm kinda kicking myself for not doing it sooner. On the upside, he said that everything I was honest and concerned about was a good thing, as it seemed to be distorted thinking on my part, which he thinks can be easily fixed. As in, at least I don't struggle with depression any longer, or anything that I can't control or that would be (too) hard to change.
And I only brought one brownie, I'd had enough of those buggers. He ate the brownie. I managed to consume half of a muffin, and at 8 am no less. That's a good thing for me.
Another positive thing, we talked aobut my BPD dx and he said that he too noticed that I don't exhibit as many traits any longer. Yes, I'm still very impulsive but that's really about it. I can't make the dx disappear, but I'm comfortable knowing that he agrees I don't exhibit as many traits any longer. Talk about improvements guys. How oculd I not be in a great mood? And this whole time I thought I was getting worse. Go figure.
To both of you: Thank you so much for keeping me company and being so supportive this last week. I appreciate it. I love you both you know.
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 21:11:08
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so... » Karen_kay, posted by All Done on March 10, 2004, at 13:36:47
Hopefully I will be able to remember how great it felt to be honest with him. But, that darn faulty memory of mine sometimes gets in the way. I'm repeating it to myself now, but if I forget, will you remind me?
And Bubba doesn't need a magic ring, he has a magic tongue... That doesn't sound right. Or maybe it does. No, I've decided it doesn't. He is able to work magic with his insight. How's that... HA! I even changed the way I talk about him. Maybe you should wish for Bubba with that magic ring, eh? :) Thank you for being you hun! You're great...
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 21:11:46
In reply to I'm so happy you're back Karen_Kay (nm), posted by antigua on March 10, 2004, at 14:35:49
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 21:13:45
In reply to Re: I'm so happy you're back Karen_Kay, posted by Penny on March 10, 2004, at 16:00:30
Thank you. I've missed you. Now, don't you go leavin us again, ok? We worry about you while you're gone. Are things getting better with your family? I hope so, as you deserve it. Now, you take care of yourself...
Posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 21:20:21
In reply to Re: Say it ain't so... » Karen_kay, posted by Poet on March 10, 2004, at 20:36:35
Thanks for the welcome back. It's nice to feel welcome.
As for the brownies, I think I'll bring doughnuts instead. And perhaps milk.. How's that for butt kissing? That'd be falling back into my old evil ways though, wouldn't it? No, I'd say not...
Don't you hate it when they question everything you do? Like if you eat a brownie it suggests that you're "falling back." Or if you give a deserved compliment, you're doing the ego stroke instead of being sincere. But, at least this session he didn't accuse me of "playing games" (as he calls it) or anything negative. There was honestly nothing negative about it. How great is that? Maybe you could bring in a brownie every week and eat it in front of your therapist to reassure him/her that you aren't back sliding? If nothing else, you can eat in front of your therapist. And nothing's better than teasing a therapist with food and not offering. Well, I guess I don't know that, as I always offer. But, this is the first time I've ever eaten in front of him, other than cashews once. And gum, I always have gum... Is it bad to chew gum in front of a therapist? Nah...
Posted by Dinah on March 11, 2004, at 9:51:48
In reply to Say it ain't so..., posted by Karen_kay on March 10, 2004, at 8:19:43
And I'm glad you had a great session. I know you'll do great in group. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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