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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by LostGirl on May 14, 2004, at 18:29:59
I had a therapist whose most amazing quality was how I would see in his face exactly what I was feeling. He would look sad if what I was saying was sad, etc. The current one always has a dumb grin on her face and this really bothers me. I was wondering what your therapists' facial expressions are like.
Posted by Dinah on May 14, 2004, at 18:45:03
In reply to Therapist's expression, posted by LostGirl on May 14, 2004, at 18:29:59
Posted by finelinebob on May 14, 2004, at 20:43:35
In reply to Re: Neutral, usually (nm) » LostGirl, posted by Dinah on May 14, 2004, at 18:45:03
I take the couch, she's sitting several feet behind my head, I don't bother to turn around and look.
Given how empathic she is, I really am glad I don't have to watch her facing when I'm talking about some of my more difficult issues -- I can hear it in her voice well enough!!
flb
Posted by Fallen4MyT on May 14, 2004, at 20:56:32
In reply to No idea..., posted by finelinebob on May 14, 2004, at 20:43:35
Posted by crushedout on May 14, 2004, at 22:13:29
In reply to Therapist's expression, posted by LostGirl on May 14, 2004, at 18:29:59
A dumb grin? LostGirl, that's a hilarious image, but if it were my therapist, I'd find that extremely disconcerting.My T's expressions vary depending on what we're talking about. She's very emotional.
Posted by gardenergirl on May 15, 2004, at 9:24:39
In reply to Therapist's expression, posted by LostGirl on May 14, 2004, at 18:29:59
My T is generally neutral, but he does look kind when I am sad, and we laugh together at times, too. Sometimes it's hard to see his expression, when I have to take my glasses off to wipe my eyes, though.
A dumb smile would drive me nuts. I remember watching videos during my second year of training. One of my classmates had a nervous smile the whole time. We all commented on it in her feedback, and she worked hard to erase it.
gg
Posted by shadows721 on May 16, 2004, at 3:47:38
In reply to Therapist's expression, posted by LostGirl on May 14, 2004, at 18:29:59
My therapist shared with me that she was trained to not show emotions. This was so she would look objective. Well, that must of went out the door with me, because she sometimes has her jaw drop when I tell her things about my abusers. I don't mind it. I like the spontanity and humanistic expression.
Posted by pegasus on May 16, 2004, at 14:13:32
In reply to Therapist's expression, posted by LostGirl on May 14, 2004, at 18:29:59
Full range of expressions, thank goodness. A dumb grin would be very irritating to me. The T I just left (after only a few months) seemed to have carefully arranged expressions all the time, and that's part of why I never felt like I clicked with her. One thing I loved about my old T was how genuine he always seemed to be. I believe that the expressions I saw reflected how he was feeling most of the time.
How much is this bothering you. Can you say anything to her about it? Or try a different T?
pegasus
Posted by LostGirl on May 16, 2004, at 21:57:53
In reply to Re: Therapist's expression, posted by pegasus on May 16, 2004, at 14:13:32
Thanks for asking. I have mentioned it - that she is smiling - and she denies it. The reason why I don't click with her is she is very long-winded, goes into very protracted explanations with far-fetched analogies and rephrasing the same thing multiple clever ways, and grinning at, I believe, how clever she thinks she is. She really likes to hear herself talk. It is very disconcerting to me, especially when I am sad or struggling with something. The long-windedness makes me lose what I was feeling, and makes me feel unconnected to her. I have mentioned a few times that she is smiling and that it is disconcerting. She denies she is and I say yes, you are. Then I move on.
The thing is, I came to her in a time of crisis -sick dying father, crazy Alzheimer's mother suddenly my responsibility, etc. and she was good about all the concrete things which was what I needed. Helped me deal with all the decision making and stress of it all. She was also good, for the most part, with intense stuff with my acting out teenage son. But I never clicked with her the way I did with the former one who I had an incredible connection with, but then he forgot to tell me about his vacation. That's a whole other long story. Leaving him over that tore me up. So maybe I tolerated not being able to connect strongly with this one becasue I didn't want to let myself get that attached again. And she usually makes sense, somewhere in all those words and grins.
Posted by antigua on May 17, 2004, at 9:04:55
In reply to Re: Therapist's expression, posted by LostGirl on May 16, 2004, at 21:57:53
I find that I like my therapist(s) not to show any emotion at all--especially sympathy or horror at the things I share w/them. I don't know why, but it really makes me uncomfortable. I want a blank slate. It doesn't work that way of course, but I don't like to have to process their reactions along w/my own.
antigua
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