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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 10, 2004, at 1:58:25
In reply to Re: Re: opposite of love...fear???? » All, posted by 64bowtie on July 10, 2004, at 0:36:54
Posted by 64bowtie on July 10, 2004, at 0:36:54
> » All
>
> I was setting the stage for my bombshell...
>
> Children don't get it... There's is a visceral existence. They approach good-feeling things and avoid bad-feeling things. More detail can be found in books like, "The Second Brain"
>
> The 'neuro-folks' show the vast majority living by feel-goods. Not much of a life... as I remember myself living like that. I spasmed out of control if anything ever was out of place, thus not an appearance that felt-good to my jaundiced little life.
>
> Fear freezes the feet!!! Curiosity releases frozen feet......
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> The bombshell is that until about age 15 or so, children equate approval (because they can) to what gownups keep calling love. Then they seem to get it! Love isn't just a visceral feeling, but an acceptance of another person, respecting their separateness, and acting responsibly toward them, along with the visceral longing for them. Kids don't do this. Adults, who can, do, do this.
>
> Be careful to identify that which was separating it from that which has been updated by the visual cortex. If we get to be 30 years old and remember the stories of our youth the way we want to remember them, they won't be what really happened. If I remember a shirt I used to wear as red, and the photo of me in my favorite shirt shows it as green, the red shirt memory becomes a distortion. If I assign a value to a distortion, I have created a faulty belief. Approval is not love. Kids grow up remembering themselves loving. Instead they are remembering approval and creating a faulty belief from the distorted vision they have long accepted.
>
> Rod
>
>
Posted by antigua on July 10, 2004, at 15:06:43
In reply to Re: Re: opposite of love...fear???? « 64bowtie, posted by Dr. Bob on July 10, 2004, at 1:58:25
Posted by 64bowtie on July 11, 2004, at 2:18:08
In reply to Approval can be a form of love too (nm), posted by antigua on July 10, 2004, at 15:06:43
Thanks »antigua, for your friendly response...
Silly me! ....but approval seems so conditional. I like the unconditional nature of "caring-without-obligation" that comes when adults love each other...
Rod
PS: management of children is a rules-based existence to the children, and rightfully so... Approval fits comfortably inside a rules-based existence...
Posted by antigua on July 11, 2004, at 20:33:06
In reply to Re: Approval can be a form of love too » antigua, posted by 64bowtie on July 11, 2004, at 2:18:08
Wow, I think that's kind of simplistic and out of the realm of possibilities that I would ascribe to you. It's too touchy-feely. I think all love is conditional, whether we admit it or not, adult or child. I love my husband and have a wide latitude in that love, but if he was to get way outside my sphere of comfortable or acceptable, I would have to re-think it, no matter how much I loved him. I would think that would be closer to your beliefs, IMO.
antigua
This is the end of the thread.
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