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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64bowtie on August 5, 2004, at 2:53:47
Ode to a Rotten Childhood from Hell.
Over and over, meeting after meeting, participants shared there recollections of their peculiar family “drama-trauma”. After a short while, each unique story had toooo many elements in common. Toooo many sounded the same, just different names and cities. Mine, toooo. Need I go into details?
“King-Baby” ain’t in the DSM-VI
Rick Potter, a therapist from Long Beach who had many one-on-one patients as well as group members report their common horror stories. Most contain a common character who acted out in similar ways, and controlled the family and it’s members with outrageous and inappropriate demands and behavior. Searching for a categorical and functional label, therapist Potter settled on “King-Baby”. These characters made demands with impunity, a “professional-victim”, incapable of self-sufficiency. Who is the most common family member in all these stories? Dear old Dad. Less common is an uncle, next an oldest child, and perhaps often, a grandparent.
“The Whole Catastrophe”
Prophetic words of Zorba the Greek describing his own family “drama-trauma”.What's it Like?
All toooo often, Dad had plans to be up and out of the house by the early morning, terrorizing all to be ready. Some time in the early afternoon, he emerges from the bedroom, scratching his butt, wondering what everyone was doing just sitting around, and thinks nothing of complaining and coercing anyone and everyone oblivious to his earlier failings. For this family, this is a daily nightmare. Many times these stories are linked to episodes of alcohol abuse by “King-Baby”.
Life with Father.....
Life in the dysfunctional family with a “King Baby” is hell on earth. Others accomplishments are belittled, failures are exaggerated, savings are raided, and decency is non-existed. Children are sexually molested, the living quarters are horrid, and the language is abusive. No-one can achieve anything significant such as college, jobs, or home ownership. …definitely no social redeeming quality.
Let's hear it....
I welcome you to share your stories of your “King-Baby”. If I’ve left out anything important, feel free to correct me.
Rod
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 5, 2004, at 21:44:49
In reply to The King-Baby Complex, posted by 64bowtie on August 5, 2004, at 2:53:47
If I read this right, the King Baby is usually the male (father) in the family. It was in my family. Okay, my mother was the very codependent King Baby side kick. She was so busy taking care of 'HIS' needs that the children were the sacrifice to the lions that lurked.
King Baby's appear to be well taken care of to me.
Posted by 64bowtie on August 6, 2004, at 2:07:37
In reply to Re: The King-Baby Complex, posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 5, 2004, at 21:44:49
Shadow,
Thank you so much for your post. I was tired and stumbling around in my foggy memories.
You nailed it... What a miserable sub-person they must be (perhaps excluding your Dad). These stories are chilling. Do you see a connection to the "elephant in the living room" puzzle? This fable is also pervasive amongst 12 step folks.
Goes like this: When you go visit this family down the street, you enter the living room and everyone goes single file hugging the wall to avoid the elephant in the living room. When you ask, "Doesn't anyone care that you have an elephant living in your house?", much to your surprize, everyone disregards your question or claims you are delusional.
Of course this is a metaphor for the ridiculous situation caused by the likes of a king-baby persona. The negative impact is so overwhelming to the family that they would be better off having the elephant instead. In the movie, What's Eating Gilbert Grape", Mom weighing it at over 600 lbs, who needed to be waited on hand and foot, could be an obvious "Queen-Baby".
You lived it... Any story of resolution to your history is very desirable... You are in my prayers...
Rod
Posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 6, 2004, at 14:26:30
In reply to King-Baby Complex - U nailed it!!! » Shadowplayers721, posted by 64bowtie on August 6, 2004, at 2:07:37
I really liked that elephant story. That's so true. Boy, people don't like you tell them about that elephant either. Just keep walking around it. Thanks for sharing that.
Yes, I saw that movie. It was a very good illustration of how dysfunctional families operate. I like Johnny Depp. I saw his movie- The Secret Window. That was good too.
Posted by 64bowtie on August 7, 2004, at 4:12:54
In reply to Re: King-Baby Complex - U nailed it!!!, posted by Shadowplayers721 on August 6, 2004, at 14:26:30
>I like Johnny Depp. I saw his movie- The Secret Window. That was good too.
><<< Thanks for the heads up. Its just out on DVD. "Chocolate" was also good; great tongue in cheek drama with old-world humor and storyline. "Edward Scissorhands" was a surprise delight... Vinnie Price's last movie...
Rod
This is the end of the thread.
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