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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DaisyM on September 11, 2004, at 1:48:49
It was fun to turn the tables, so to speak!
I had left a message for him Wed. evening and he didn't return the call until early Thursday morning. This is very unlike him. I figured he was gone, or something else happened. When he called Thursday morning, he said he "forgot" to check his messages until pretty late in the evening and I had already turned off my phone. I didn't want to talk to him at that moment, I was OK and I was seeing him anyway in the afternoon.
So when I went in, he apologized again for the delay and asked me if I was angry with him.
"Nope," I said. "I'm not. I understand that you have a life of your own. I was just surprised. I expected a better excuse than "I forgot." And I wonder WHY you forgot..."
He grinned and said "I just did. Once in a while I slip up."
"Ah," I said, adopting a Freudian pose and tone. "But it is so unlike you. Let's ask ourselves, what were you unconsciously avoiding? Me? Another client?"
"Nope. No one I can think of." He said. "OK, I'll play along. What do you think?"
"What I think doesn't really matter, " I responded. "Just associate freely. What comes to you? WHO forgot you in the past? AND...How do you feel about these questions?"
He laughed and said he wanted his "chair" back. He noted that there was a lot of power on the therapist side, because no matter what he said, I could analyze it or call it defensive posturing. And he liked his power.
It was sort of a fun interchange and nice to know he recognizes the power inherent to that chair. And he said again that just because he didn't call back right away doesn't mean he doesn't care. I suspect this will come up a few times before we are done with it.
Anyone else every "played" with their therapist? I'd love to hear more stories.
Posted by alexis6 on September 11, 2004, at 2:19:15
In reply to I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by DaisyM on September 11, 2004, at 1:48:49
Hi Daisy,
That sounds like it was fun! In psychoanalytic therapies it does seem to be frustrating that motives are attributed to nearly everything-sometimes it can be easy for analysts to forget that a mistake can just be a mistake, maybe it was benificial for him as well.
I did play a little game with a former therapist to try to get a reaction from him, although in retrospect it seems a bit pointless and it did in fact completely backfire.
I had inadvertantly discovered that my T was (at least at one point) a commited Christian, and I was curious if he would be judgmental or reactive if I told him of an (mostly imaginary) fear of religion I had. And I wanted to make him angry, for whatever reason. So in the session after I found this out, I went on and on about how much I hated religion and spirituality, and couldn't possibly ever relate to a religious person...etc, etc. He didn't even blink.
In a later session I had the opportunity, due to a family member deciding to join a church, to bring it up again. I told him about it, and then started laughing. He asked me what was so funny, and I said that I felt awkward telling him this, but I knew he was a Christian. He stared at me blankly and asked why I thought that. I told him I had seen him advertise on a Christian website when I was looking for his webpage, and just assumed he was-and also told him that he just "seemed like a Christian" to me. (This was not actually the way I found out). He was really shocked, and I think offended too.
So it turns out that he had completely left the faith, no longer considered himself a Christian (and actually had a lot of antagonism towards the church), and when I had been trying to make him angry at me by complaining about religion, he was actually identifying with me. So that didn't work out so well :-).
Best, Alexis
Posted by Dinah on September 11, 2004, at 9:36:58
In reply to I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by DaisyM on September 11, 2004, at 1:48:49
Posted by shortelise on September 11, 2004, at 13:14:34
In reply to I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by DaisyM on September 11, 2004, at 1:48:49
I love love love this!!!
ShortE
Posted by fallsfall on September 11, 2004, at 13:54:44
In reply to I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by DaisyM on September 11, 2004, at 1:48:49
Posted by Susan47 on September 11, 2004, at 16:32:39
In reply to I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by DaisyM on September 11, 2004, at 1:48:49
It sounds like you and your therapist have a really good working relationship. What fun for both of you that session must've been. It's so nice to hear positive stuff like this OIAW. Renews my faith in human nature :)
Posted by allisonf on September 12, 2004, at 19:17:21
In reply to I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by DaisyM on September 11, 2004, at 1:48:49
Daisy, That is such a funny, wonderful story about you and your therapist. I agree, you must have a good working relationship to be able to tease him like that and have him play along.
One time I joked with my therapist that we would make such good friends if only she didn't have this issue about being my therapist. She just blushed and laughed it off. I just love when the tables are turned a little.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 12, 2004, at 20:24:25
In reply to Re: I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by allisonf on September 12, 2004, at 19:17:21
Good for you, Daisy. That sounds like quite an entertaining go 'round.
Thanks for the smile!
gg
Posted by just plain jane on September 14, 2004, at 1:10:22
In reply to Re: I put my therapist in the hot seat :), posted by gardenergirl on September 12, 2004, at 20:24:25
I probably have made a T or 2 feel uncomfortable, now that I think of it.
One of my "abnormalities" is that I have no "respect for authority" in general. For example: Dr. Bob, I am led to believe, is a doctor of psychiatry. OK. But that fact, in and of itself, does not put him in a position of authority over me. He has authority over whether he allows me to participate here, but that's not authority over me, just over his site.
I can't think of anyone here on earth who actually has authority over me, only people who desire to affect me. I choose each move I make.
I am the earthly authority figure for me. God is my ultimate authority.
(OK, ok, so it may seem like a semantics, but it really isn't. This lack in me has caused me some difficult situations.)
O gad! Perhaps someday I'll achieve communicative focus.
Back to the therapist in the hot seat.
I think it's great that you have shown your T you perceive his implied power. I think that empowers you to deal with him on a level field, instead of what many (most??) Ts seem to want, a situation where they actually DO wield power over their clients. Intimidation. I am the EXPERT!
Uck, I despise that attitude.
Perhaps my observation is an inaccurate impression...
train of thought
just plain
jane
This is the end of the thread.
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