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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rubenstein on September 11, 2004, at 14:06:27
Hi, I am pretty new to the board. This past week I had some really bad medication problems and just crashed. I went to see my therapist on Friday and he was worried and wanted me to come in as soon as the weekend was over. I feel really guilty. I don't want to be the needy patient, and I am sure that I will be fine until Friday. Has anyone else had similiar experiences, any advice. Should I go??
Thanks so much
Rubenstein
Posted by Aphrodite on September 11, 2004, at 15:03:37
In reply to extra session feel guilty, help, posted by rubenstein on September 11, 2004, at 14:06:27
For the first 6 months or so of my therapy, I went once a week, and always tried to pretend to be perfectly fine. After a particularly rough patch, I broke down and asked to go twice a week. I worried (and still do worry) about all kinds of things like neediness, being high-maintenance, and taking up slots other people may need. But when I finally did it, the extra session made a huge difference in terms of headway and stability. If you go more frequently, you can keep the momentum going. Sometimes a week is an eternity, you know?
And as for taking up slots, Dinah said something once that helped. She said there are tons of therapists out there, and no one will go without help because we need a second session.
And as for the neediness, I still struggle with that. I just have to admit that I am needy -- I won't get better denying that. Nonetheless, I understand your fear.
Let your T help. Don't wait until Friday.
Posted by daisym on September 11, 2004, at 15:17:34
In reply to extra session feel guilty, help, posted by rubenstein on September 11, 2004, at 14:06:27
I think you have to separate two things...feeling guilty about going more and "I'm sure I'll be fine." If you really are sure, don't go just because your therapist wants you to. You know yourself pretty well.
But if you aren't going because you are worried about being a pain, but "secretly" you really want to, then GO! I have this conflict all the time. I want/need to see my therapist a lot but I still worry about being a pain. *sigh* But I do feel so much better when I go more.
Yesterday I struggled most of the day and finally caved in and called him. I told him straight out that the struggle was about the pain of missing him...needing to know that he was out there somewhere. That I was so conflicted about managing on my own and yet being unbearably lonely. He reassured me AGAIN that touching base was totally OK, that this was just where I was in my therapy. He said it wouldn't be like this forever, but for now, I should just touch base as much as I need to. He talked again about separation anxiety and developmental stages. And how hard all the work we were doing is. So, I was glad I called and I felt better. Much better.
If you need the extra session, take it.
Posted by Susan47 on September 11, 2004, at 16:26:16
In reply to extra session feel guilty, help, posted by rubenstein on September 11, 2004, at 14:06:27
Rubinstein,
you're really giving yourself a lot of responsibility and that's beautiful but don't feel guilty or at all bad if your therapist wants to see you asap after the weekend. I'm sure he's doing this as much for himself, as he is for you. It sounds like he really cares and it might be okay to let him.
Posted by rubenstein on September 12, 2004, at 12:57:08
In reply to Re: extra session feel guilty, help » rubenstein, posted by Aphrodite on September 11, 2004, at 15:03:37
Thanks so much for your post. It really helped to think about the momentum thing, maybe this extra session could be a good thing rather than a thing I have to feel guilty about.
rubenstein
Posted by rubenstein on September 12, 2004, at 13:00:30
In reply to Re: extra session feel guilty, help, posted by daisym on September 11, 2004, at 15:17:34
> I think you have to separate two things...feeling guilty about going more and "I'm sure I'll be fine." If you really are sure, don't go just because your therapist wants you to. You know yourself pretty well.
>
> But if you aren't going because you are worried about being a pain, but "secretly" you really want to, then GO! I have this conflict all the time. I want/need to see my therapist a lot but I still worry about being a pain. *sigh* But I do feel so much better when I go more.
I think you hit it in the above paragraph. I don't think I will be fine, perhaps it is one of my never-ending personas that I seem to inhabit..I do want to go but rather feel guilty for being needy. Your post was so helpful, thank you so much and take care
Posted by rubenstein on September 12, 2004, at 13:02:44
In reply to Re: extra session feel guilty, help, posted by Susan47 on September 11, 2004, at 16:26:16
> Rubinstein,
> you're really giving yourself a lot of responsibility and that's beautiful but don't feel guilty or at all bad if your therapist wants to see you asap after the weekend. I'm sure he's doing this as much for himself, as he is for you. It sounds like he really cares and it might be okay to let him.
Its funny that you said that, for I had said in my last session that it is hard for me to allow for people to care for me even though I care for so many people in my life....thank you so much for your insight...amazing how someone can see right through you even through a computer...thank you, truly
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