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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bell_75 on September 17, 2004, at 7:42:05
Blargh. My eyes are sore and abit puffy but otherwise I'm good. I know I've been abit absent from here lately and I'm sorry for that but I've had good reason. None of which are probably interesting at all.
Anywho, I posted awhile ago about my nervousness about terminating and sparked the thread about a new term for termination and i think some of us agreed on a few alternatives, one being "conclusion". In that thread I was asked to keep you posted about how it went and..well..that day came today.
I'm feeling so drained, mixed and abit bittersweet. It was an emotional experience but all in all a very happy one.
Wow! It was just a liberating experience aknowledging how far I've come and some of the things we talked about. Sure, I'm not 100% but I'm okay with that. I'm alot better than I was before I started therapy anyways.
I'm not going to say terminating was an easy thing today because it wasn't...it was hard. Really hard. Just like therapy has been all along because we dont go along there to do something thats easy. I needed to sort out my problems and to do that I had to endure alot of emotional pain and basically at stages I was fighting for my life. I was wanting to end my life and at the same time trying to find a way to stop wanting to end it.
Today, I'm less suicidal. And I'm proud of that.
Emphasis being "less" because I cant say im completely but then again as my therapist says that everyone has a thought about it now and then but its just a thought and to not let it worry you so much.
Anywho, back to today. He said some really nice things and i think he knew it was tough for me to be ending therapy because ive been going there for a year and a half and thats a big chunk of my life. Considering I was 18 when i started going and 20 when i left. I've done alot of growing in that period of time. I shook his hand when i said goodbye and it was nice. I was just comforted by that. Its weird to have sat opposite to someone for so long and to not have touched them at all.
He told me that he believe in me and therapy was just started now as I left. Oh my god! I'm welling up in tears now just writing that.
I was expecting emotion, but this much?
I'm going to miss that part of my life so much and I wont deny that I'll miss him. I will. You become used to being around someone then all of a sudden its a "See ya". However, i did have time to prepare for it.
I even got homework to do...FOR ETERNITY! Wow. thats the longest homework I've ever got. And that sort of made me feel better about the whole process because I felt like therapy was still continuing even if i wasnt going to be coming back. My homework is to write down my core beliefs which are negative about myself and whenever I find evidence against one of them to write it down every single time till I can change that core belief. The 3 we wrote down together today were "I'm worthless", "I'm undesirable" and "I'm incompetent". And I will definately keep doing that homework. I wont let him down.
Also he said I can come back if i really need to and that if I call and say I need to come back he'll ask me first what I've done then see after that if I need to come in.
I feel prepared yet scared at the same time about life after therapy.
Thanks for making that transition a little bit easier, guys. I hope I can still contribute now as others have after their therapy has ended.I feel so weird saying that.
Therapy is concluded.
Posted by Susan47 on September 17, 2004, at 9:05:07
In reply to Therapy concluded today, posted by bell_75 on September 17, 2004, at 7:42:05
Wow, congratulations. You and your therapist obviously did a lot of good, good work together. I wish you more of the best for the future, and it'll be wonderful to see you here on the board. But if you feel like you need to leave the board too at some time, feel good about that decision too. IMHO, it's much better to have you happy than needed!!!!
Posted by Dinah on September 17, 2004, at 9:47:13
In reply to Therapy concluded today, posted by bell_75 on September 17, 2004, at 7:42:05
That's fabulous! I love happy graduations. :)
It sounds as if you're confident you have the skills to go forward on your own. Congratulations to you and to your therapist for all the good work.
Posted by gardenergirl on September 17, 2004, at 10:57:03
In reply to Therapy concluded today, posted by bell_75 on September 17, 2004, at 7:42:05
Wow, it's so nice to hear the good stories, too. And bittersweet, boy can I understand that. That's about the best I think I can hope for with terminating when my time comes. Because of course we will miss something that has been so important.
Homework for life! That's very cute. It sounds useful, though. I'm so glad you had such a great experience and that you have come so far.
Good for you!
Be well,
gg
Posted by Annierose on September 17, 2004, at 16:18:40
In reply to Therapy concluded today, posted by bell_75 on September 17, 2004, at 7:42:05
I agree with above posters. It's a hard thing to do, you must be very brave and strong. If you want to continue therapy, because I sense a part of you does, why did you choose to terminate? I don't think a year and half is a long time for treatment at all.
Posted by lookdownfish on September 17, 2004, at 17:54:34
In reply to Therapy concluded today, posted by bell_75 on September 17, 2004, at 7:42:05
congratulations on a good conclusion.... and thanks, that was insipirational. I really hope I can get there some day and be that brave and positive about it.
Posted by tryingtobewise on September 17, 2004, at 18:14:06
In reply to Re: Therapy concluded today » bell_75, posted by lookdownfish on September 17, 2004, at 17:54:34
Wow...well done. Congratulations for sticking with therapy, and for your bravery in wrapping it up. I love the idea of homework for life!
:)
Posted by shrinking violet on September 18, 2004, at 20:10:00
In reply to Re: Therapy concluded today » bell_75, posted by gardenergirl on September 17, 2004, at 10:57:03
What a wonderful testimonial to you, your therapist, and your work together! I wish you all the best.
Peace,
SV
Posted by bell_75 on September 19, 2004, at 3:38:10
In reply to Re: Therapy concluded today, posted by shrinking violet on September 18, 2004, at 20:10:00
Thank you so much everyone for your kind words.
I've been feeling abit melancholy over the weekend but nothing i cant handle. Its just my way of adjusting to a big change in my life I think. I had been in therapy for long enough that it became habitual and its a new phase of my life I'm going into.
I don't regret leaving therapy now, 1 and a half years later, because we came to a mutual agreement and it was a very positive experience. We were both ready to graduation hehehThanks again everyone. I definately think I'll still be needing you guys because its a scary thing losing a support person like your therapist and you guys are a great support for me. *hugs*
I'm glad babble posting doesn't have to eventually terminate.Much love to everyone!
Posted by DaisyM on September 19, 2004, at 19:40:02
In reply to Therapy concluded today, posted by bell_75 on September 17, 2004, at 7:42:05
I'm late on this but I want to say how touched I was by your post. I find myself wondering if I will ever feel better, if I will ever get there. And letting someone get so close and then saying good-bye feels impossible. So you can be the poster child here.
I hope you have found ways to soothe yourself this weekend. Even an expected loss for good reasons is still a loss. Take good care. Keep posting.
Hugs,
Daisy
This is the end of the thread.
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