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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 8:32:48
I have been so used to being unhappy and unable to having intimate friendships I do not know anything else. This is part of me. It is very difficult to get rid of what you are used to. terrics ps I do not mean sex. I am married.
Posted by fallsfall on September 19, 2004, at 11:00:11
In reply to Hope I am better before I am dead /no trigger, posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 8:32:48
I hope that I can get to a place where I can experience some of the joys of life that others take for granted. I also see my (non-suicidal) death as being the deadline for that - I guess I'm not expecting to experience these joys anytime soon, and I don't want to put a schedule on it and then not meet the schedule.
Is this similar to what you feel?
Posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 11:23:41
In reply to Re: Hope I am better before I am dead /no trigger » terrics, posted by fallsfall on September 19, 2004, at 11:00:11
Yes Fallsfall, that is sort of how I feel, but I am getting tired and suicide could be a possibility. I don't think they are coming up with a cure for depression and bpd soon.
With bpd though, I may feel better in the next minute. ps my mom is in hosp, critical. That is probably why I feel so bad today. terrics
Posted by Poet on September 19, 2004, at 12:14:01
In reply to Re: Hope I am better before I am dead /****trigger » fallsfall, posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 11:23:41
Hi Terrics,
I'm sorry about your mother and that you are feeling so down. I wish I could offer advice on how to feel happy, but happiness aludes me. I do have one very close friend though. While she can feel joy, she and I share other issues like career failure and negative body image. We understand each other and that's what enables us to be close. I hope you find someone understands you, too.
I hope they cure depression, pbd and all other mental things that ail us.
Poet
Posted by gardenergirl on September 19, 2004, at 13:49:33
In reply to Re: Hope I am better before I am dead /****trigger » terrics, posted by Poet on September 19, 2004, at 12:14:01
terrics,
I'm so sorry about your mother. That must certainly add stress to your life that you don't need. I'm sorry too this is such a rough period. Have you been through these before only to find them lift a little in time? It sounds, though, like you are tired of the down times in particular. I wish you a long up period.Be well,
gg
Posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 19:53:39
In reply to Re: Hope I am better before I am dead /****trigger, posted by gardenergirl on September 19, 2004, at 13:49:33
Posted by Dinah on September 19, 2004, at 21:36:38
In reply to Re: Hope I am better before I am dead /****trigger » fallsfall, posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 11:23:41
I'm so sorry about your mom, Terrics.
Posted by daisym on September 19, 2004, at 22:11:53
In reply to Hope I am better before I am dead /no trigger, posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 8:32:48
Terrics,
I think it is amazing what people get use to. I think of my life as "living among a crowd alone."
It is so much more lonely when you should have people who take care of you and nurture you, but they don't.
Posted by antigua on September 21, 2004, at 7:22:05
In reply to Hope I am better before I am dead /no trigger, posted by terrics on September 19, 2004, at 8:32:48
I understand what you mean. I often lament (o.k., cry really) about why this is taking me so long to come to a peaceful place/understanding and acceptance of my past. A few years of my life have colored everything about me and at times it seems like such a waste. But I was thinking the other day and thought, "well, if I even have one year (month? day?) as a whole person before I die, it will have been worth it." I would like to die in peace.
antigua
Posted by terrics on September 21, 2004, at 21:51:11
In reply to Re: Hope I am better before I am dead /no trigger, posted by antigua on September 21, 2004, at 7:22:05
Yes, I know what you mean. Only one yr. out of my life destroyed me. Maybe we'll still get some good time. I am so used to what I have become that it is like an old shoe. I am trying so hard to work at changing and understanding what a healthy reality is. terrics
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