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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Speaker on October 26, 2004, at 15:26:40
Just wondering how others handle their sessions. At times I have a major thing going on in my life that I want to bring up...and then there is a place to start. My question is for the other times. I am working on CSA and I often go in with no place to start...is that unusual? If I have had a decent week I do small talk just to stay away from the subject as it is hard...then leave mad that I spent $2.00 a minute to have a "nice" conversation and it brews to a boil at myself. How do the rest of you handle this?
Thanks!
Posted by partlycloudy on October 26, 2004, at 15:33:58
In reply to Do you plan your sessions?, posted by Speaker on October 26, 2004, at 15:26:40
I try to keep notes between sessions about things I want to go over. Many don't feel comfortable having a diary open during their appointments, but I would never get anywhere if I didn't have that dang thing with me all the time. My t used to think I was very organized, now she sees the diary as an extension of my brain like i do.
(I don't lke having "nice" talks either - you want to save up all the bad stuff to talk about!)
Posted by pegasus on October 26, 2004, at 16:21:47
In reply to Do you plan your sessions?, posted by Speaker on October 26, 2004, at 15:26:40
I'm glad that you brought this up. It's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm starting to notice that when I go in with a few topics to start with, my sessions always go better. When I go in thinking that we'll just wing it, then I usually end up frustrated as you describe, because I feel like I wasted the session.
So, lately, I've been picking one or two significant things to bring up. We don't always end up talking about those things, if the conversation naturally takes some other turn that seems important or productive to me at the time. But at least, if we aren't talking about anything important, I have something to fall back on that I know will feel like real therapy.
Also, I've been trying to keep my list very short and simple, because otherwise, I find that I'm inclined to forget it!
pegasus
Posted by gardenergirl on October 26, 2004, at 20:29:47
In reply to Re: Do you plan your sessions?, posted by pegasus on October 26, 2004, at 16:21:47
I don't consciously plan my sessions, but I do have things usually that I want to bring up with him. Mostly it's related to something going on. Lately though it's stuff I've thought more about later after my last session. Often I will be torn between a couple things and wonder which one to start with. But I usually just dive in. Soemtimes I will get peeved at myself for talking about stuff when I really wanted to talk about something else. He usually reminds me though that I AM talking about something, likely for a reason.
Sometimes I think a day or two in advance, "I wonder what I'll talk about?" as nothing jumps out at me. But then it's almost like I jinx myself, because then something will happen that leads to a reaction in me that I just HAVE to talk about.
Ugh, here I go blathering here. Kind of like in sessions.
Funny, last week I did not have an appt. because I was going to be at a conference. I found on Tuesday, even though I did not have an appt. on Wednesday, I was kind of mentally preparing myself for a session. I must have some kind of rhythym to my weeks that springs from my sessions.
gg
Posted by fallsfall on October 26, 2004, at 21:31:28
In reply to Do you plan your sessions?, posted by Speaker on October 26, 2004, at 15:26:40
I used to plan the whole session, every week. I even rehearsed how I would say things. I would bring a list, and go through each item.
My old therapist tried to get me to plan less, and my current therapist tried even harder to get me to plan less. Somehow, I was able to start doing that. I guess that I stopped "preparing" the topics, but still brought in a list of things to talk about. Somehow, even though I didn't know in advance what I wanted to say, useful things were discussed. I guess I sort of see it as practice in being spontaneous (which I am SOOO bad at...)
Recently I had a session where there were two things to talk about - one was my topic, the other was one that he wanted to talk about (which came out of my topic). We have had "issues" in the past about whether we should talk about "my" topic or "his" topic. So I started the next session saying that the previous session could have been one of those times when that was a real problem, but for some reason it wasn't. He then asked if I wanted to talk more about "my" topic or "his" topic. I said that I didn't really want to talk about either one - I wanted to avoid both. All he said was "Uh huh". We sat for a minute, and then I told him what I had been thinking in that minute. After about 5 minutes of that we ended up discussing something that was really important - it was a great session. And it was completely unplanned.
It still feels strange to not plan. Sometimes I really want to give him the highlights since my last session, but I try to do that in 5 minutes or less, and then we either talk about one of those things or wind up on something completely different. In the old days, I could spend 50 minutes giving "the highlights". This new way seems to be more productive.
Posted by Dinah on October 27, 2004, at 1:06:30
In reply to Do you plan your sessions?, posted by Speaker on October 26, 2004, at 15:26:40
With twice a week sessions, there is so much continuity (on my side at least) that it's rare that I don't start out my session with "I was thinking about.... from last time, and I realized that...." or "You know when you said...., it made me think of (or feel)...."
Things usually progress smoothly from there with little planning. Sometimes there are things I think I need to tell him. And then I get really obsessive sometimes and it is useless to try to talk about anything other than what's on my mind.
I'm not find of nice conversations either, except bonding sessions before trips. He feels bored I feel bored, and it tends to be more anxiety provoking than supportive.
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