![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by thewrite1 on November 28, 2004, at 12:22:20
I had a session with my T yesterday. She's always been really good about not giving out information about herself. I used to find that hurtful or difficult to deal with. Lately she's been letting little bits of pieces come out. It's weird 'cause part of me is so happy to get a glimpse of who she is, but in some ways it makes me uncomfortable.
We were talking about how the things that people say/do affect us. She works off the theory that the patterns repeat themselves from the past. Everything is left over feelings from childhood. She told me that she sometimes feels left out of her family and that she's come to realize it was something from her childhood. Now I feel bad for her that she feels left out of her own family. I'm not exactly obsessing about it, but there's a degree of discomfort there. I'm also thrilled that she trusts me enough to tell me something like that. I hate having conflicting feelings like this. Anyone else experience anything like this?
I really don't want to talk to her about it
'cause then she may not ever tell me anything about herself. I dunno. It's a tough situation.
Posted by Dinah on November 28, 2004, at 12:27:14
In reply to want to know/don't want to know, posted by thewrite1 on November 28, 2004, at 12:22:20
I'm learning that that's something we all want that's probably better for us not to have. My therapist has been more open lately, and while I suppose it lessens the intense attachment, it also means he's less effective at doing what I need for him to do. And I too worry about him.
I think there were reasons for those rules that we all find so irksome.
Posted by underthecs on November 28, 2004, at 13:24:31
In reply to want to know/don't want to know, posted by thewrite1 on November 28, 2004, at 12:22:20
I totally understand your dilemma... but when my T's disclosure triggers something in me (jealousy, rage, abandonment, whatever), then we use that in therapy (or, at least, that's what I'm trying to do). It's good grist for the mill. Though of course some disclosure is totally inappropriate, but that's not what I'm talking about here. What do you think was your therapist's motivation for sharing that with you? I know you don't want to talk to her about it. It's very difficult to do. But it feels good to get to the other side of it.
Posted by shrinking violet on November 28, 2004, at 21:19:40
In reply to Re: want to know/don't want to know » thewrite1, posted by underthecs on November 28, 2004, at 13:24:31
I think some T's probably selectively use things from their own lives to help illustrate something to their client (make them feel less alone with something, etc). Can you think of a valid reason that your T would have shared this with you?
My T tells me a lot of stuff about herself. For some reason, though, it feels very natural to me. Do I react to it? Yes, sometimes. In fact last session she told me that something frightened her the week prior, and even though part of me wanted to know what it was, more of me felt badly that she was afraid and I wished that I could have helped her. It's funny too because sometimes she'll try to be somewhat vague like that, and then the next time she brings it up she'll end up telling me what the thing was to begin with (for example, I've been speaking with her on the phone this weekend, and yesterday she said that she "had somewhere to go" this afternoon and would probably call me later on. Then this morning she calls earlier than she said she would and left a message on my machine and ended up telling me where she needed to go). Again, though, I don't react much to what she tells me in terms of feeling like it crossed a boundary or something, because I never feel that way. In fact, I treasure and value the personal things my T trusts me with. But that's just me. :-/
If it makes you feel that "weird" you should talk to your T about it.
Good luck.
SV
Posted by thewrite1 on November 29, 2004, at 21:55:55
In reply to Re: want to know/don't want to know » thewrite1, posted by Dinah on November 28, 2004, at 12:27:14
I'm starting to think that, too. I've pretty much stopped thinking about it. I have way too many problems of my own to be obsessing over this.
I won't mention it to her, though. That would most likely prevent her from sharing anything with me in the future and I am so curious. I can't help it.
She does know that I feel that way. I've shared some of my obsessive things about her and she always finds a way to put a positive spin on it.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.