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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 19:43:11
One major point of contention lately has been my therapist's desire to talk to rational me for a session, while emotional me pitches a fit, sulks impressively, and insists he's MY therapist and can only see rational me if emotional me doesn't need to see him or wants to give up a session. While he's been saying he doesn't know how to be therapist to only one part of me.
So today he says that he's been thinking about it, and he realizes that yes, he is emotional me's therapist. But that he needs to consult rational me sometimes. Just like he can be a teenager's therapist but still needs to consult with the parents periodically and hopes that he can be therapeutic when he consults. Because being as therapeutic as possible with the parents helps the teen.
Emotional me can live with that.
Posted by fallsfall on January 15, 2005, at 8:42:30
In reply to :-), posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 19:43:11
8-)
Posted by Dinah on January 15, 2005, at 13:01:16
In reply to :-), posted by Dinah on January 14, 2005, at 19:43:11
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 16, 2005, at 0:01:53
In reply to See, Fallen? ;) (nm), posted by Dinah on January 15, 2005, at 13:01:16
Posted by LG04 on January 17, 2005, at 21:21:44
In reply to Re: :-) » Dinah, posted by fallsfall on January 15, 2005, at 8:42:30
Dinah, my hterpist and I recently dealt with this exact same issue. I had been in my "little kids" for about 4 or 5 phone calls in a row. And a couple of them crying very, very hard, one of them being very angry, and so on. I know my therapist was starting to feel overwhelmed with me, well the better word might be that our conversations felt "out of control," in other words I was all emotion and she had no one else in me to speak to about all this.
We both figured it out together when one day I cried alone for literally hours, and then I was finally back in my adult, rational self. Our next phone call I was very rational and adult and talked with her about several things that had been happening in our prior phone calls and we realized that we had been in a sort of "dance," where she was reacting more and more to my emotions because there was simply no adult to consult with. It's harder for her over the phone to not get into countertransference stuff, we've talked about this before, and I have this phone relationship with her knowing that.
Anyway, it made so much sense to me and it made me feel so much better to bring out the adult me finally.
I had a suggestion that we've been trying to remember to use. I said that maybe when we start a phone call, she could ask me first, "How are the little you's doing? Do they have anything to say?" or something like that. Because then I can sort of "report" on how they feel rather than totally be IN the feelings. And then we can talk about what's going on with them with me sort of acting as the intermediary.
It's worked well so far. Sometimes of course I still go into the little girl feelings, and that's okay. I think our new method is to try to keep it from going on and on and on for many phone calls in a row where I'm all "little girl feelings" and not at all adult. It helps me too to have the adult more out there. I feel more connected to her and I feel less out of control inside which I prefer. I feel less desperate towards her and less like I want her to take care of me, rather that I am taking care of myself with her helping me sometimes.
Anyway your post simply was exactly what I just dealt with so I wanted to relate to you my experiences.
LG
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