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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on April 21, 2005, at 13:57:06
<sigh> I can drive myself crazy thinking about T all the time.... Every little thing, I think about her, I wonder about her, I'm curious about her. Everything! It's crazy!!
And I'm sitting here researching Passover because she is Jewish and I want to know what SHE does/experiences on the holiday!
This is crazy!!
(And how are we supposed to admit to and tell them all of these things?!)LGL
Posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:26:08
In reply to Toooooo much thinking!, posted by LittleGirlLost on April 21, 2005, at 13:57:06
I think they know.
I see my friend's two year old look at her, search her face, watch her expression. He wants to know where she is at all times. She is his domaine, his to explore, his world. Our T's can become that to us in certain phases.
When it began to bug me, I told my T that it felt like too much, that he was there in my head all the time, but he didn't seem to think it was a bad thing. He seemed to think, and I hesitate to ever guess what he really thinks which is why I say he "seemed to think", that it was part of the attachment thing, and part of me integrating the new ways of being he was helping me to learn.
It's embarrassing but I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. And I sure don't think it's crazy, though I do agree it felt crazy at times. I talked about it.
It passed.
Whether your T is Jewish or not, it's nice to know about the Jewish holidays, what they mean, how they are celebrated. There are lots of Jews around and knowing about the religion is respectful!
I think what I said to my T when I first broached the subject was something like "I'm uncomfortable because I think about you a lot. It's as though you are always present in my mind."
Hard, yup.
ShortE
Posted by LittleGirlLost on April 21, 2005, at 16:04:40
In reply to Re: Toooooo much thinking!, posted by Shortelise on April 21, 2005, at 14:26:08
> When it began to bug me, I told my T that it felt like too much, that he was there in my head all the time, but he didn't seem to think it was a bad thing. He seemed to think, and I hesitate to ever guess what he really thinks which is why I say he "seemed to think", that it was part of the attachment thing, and part of me integrating the new ways of being he was helping me to learn.
That makes sense to me. What's weird though is that I have difficulty internalizing her and fully realizing that she will be there week after week. But on the other hand, these random thoughts almost seem obsessive. (Ugh, that word freaks me out for some reason!)
> It's embarrassing but I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of. And I sure don't think it's crazy, though I do agree it felt crazy at times. I talked about it.
Maybe you're right. Maybe it's not so bad, and I can bring it up. I'm just afraid how it sounds. I mean, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with someone thinking about me as much as I think about her. kwim?
> Whether your T is Jewish or not, it's nice to know about the Jewish holidays, what they mean, how they are celebrated. There are lots of Jews around and knowing about the religion is respectful!
I agree, but I'm not sure I would research it if I weren't so curious about HER lifestyle. It's funny, I don't know much about her (at all), but I do know she's jewish.
Thanks,
LGL
Posted by pinkeye on April 21, 2005, at 16:25:19
In reply to Re: Toooooo much thinking! » Shortelise, posted by LittleGirlLost on April 21, 2005, at 16:04:40
It is a pretty common thing. I used to pretty much obsess about my ex T a lot. But now it has stopped. So she would know that you will grow out of it.
WE all obsess about people in our lives - it is not a one off thing. As long as you don't stalk her, or keep calling her after office hours, or try to figure out where she lives etc, it is ok.
Posted by PM80 on April 22, 2005, at 9:43:43
In reply to Re: Toooooo much thinking! » LittleGirlLost, posted by pinkeye on April 21, 2005, at 16:25:19
I would think more about therapy and how my T would react all the time at first, but not any more. I realized this changed when I went into a therapy session one day and I didn't have a million thoughts all trying to get out. I wasn't sure what I wanted to focus on (my t always asks this at the beginning of a session) because I hadn't really thought about it. My meds are working and my relationship with t is more comfortable and safe so I don't obsess.
So, don't worry about your feelings - they are very normal. You're going to share a lot with this person, so of course you are curious. Feel free to bring it up or not at a session, whichever feels right to you.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on April 27, 2005, at 12:18:54
In reply to Re: Toooooo much thinking! » LittleGirlLost, posted by pinkeye on April 21, 2005, at 16:25:19
>As long as you don't stalk her, or keep calling her after office hours, or try to figure out where she lives etc, it is ok.
lol, well I know where she lives because she works out of her home... has a separate entrance though so I curious as heck about what the rest of her house looks like! <g>
~LGL
Posted by LittleGirlLost on April 27, 2005, at 12:21:23
In reply to Re: Toooooo much thinking!, posted by PM80 on April 22, 2005, at 9:43:43
> So, don't worry about your feelings - they are very normal. You're going to share a lot with this person, so of course you are curious. Feel free to bring it up or not at a session, whichever feels right to you.
Thanks.... I'd like to bring it up because it does bother me sometimes; I'm just not sure how. I know I'd feel a little weird if I knew someone was thinking about me as much as I think about her. Then again, I guess T's are used to these kind of things.
~LGL
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