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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
I've been mostly AWOL (because I'm mostly depressed), and more recently have struggled with a lot, A LOT of suicidal ideation. Usually, just connecting and getting support from my T gets me through, but I got to a place a couple of weeks ago where I was really stuck by a cycle of panic attacks followed by deep depressions. On one very miserable day, I called him, which I very, very rarely do, and he said, "Stop thinking. Just listen to my voice and do everything I say." What followed was an overwhelming list of things I had to do and report back to him with. It was a more CBT approach, but with a twist. There were 2 lists: one was for calming, and the other for occupying and accountability. Surprisingly, doing these helped me out of that moment of despair and through another bad moment a week later. They also really helped in our connection.
All the activities hinged on getting through 15 minutes, and then the next 15 minutes, and so on. I was to set my alarm and only focus on that time. First to calm myself, I was to watch a candle flame for 3 minutes. Another calming activity was for me to take in things in my field of vision top, bottom, left and right and then all at once, and to do the same with sounds. He says it changes brain waves -- it seemed to calm mine down.
And then I was to occupy myself by doing the following things over a weekend to give to him the next week. I was to collect 5 pieces of my young child's art and bring to him. I had to write my 10 favorite therapy moments. I had to write my favorite movies and why I liked them. I had to write my favorite books and songs and why I liked them. I had to write about reasons why I thought I was a good mother and 5 of my child's cutest sayings or expressions.
For "little Aphrodite" I was to bake something I liked as a child and indulge and tell him what it was. He asked me to write all my favorite stories, books, shows, etc. from my youth. He asked me to go on a walk, pretend he was with me, and write about things I saw and what I would have said to him if he were with me on that walk.
It all seemed asinine while he said it, but I'm dutiful and compliant (I guess he was using that!), and kept myself thoroughly busy with my assignments and didn't have time to feel all the pain. I ended up bringing him vast amounts of writing and said I felt guilty about giving it to him and didn't expect him to read it. We did other things in that session, so I thought it was "busy work" and doubted he would look at it. The next day, I had a long voice message from him saying how much he enjoyed what I wrote, that he felt he had gained a lot of insight, and he said he felt closer to me and thanked me for the work.
Assignments designed to refocus my energy really worked, and he has referenced many of the items in sessions since then. We had a particularly bonding session regarding the list of my best moments in therapy.
Just thought I would share this in case any of it resonates as something that would help you. I was surprised it worked for me, I usually think I am just SOOO complicated and it seemed way too simple! -- but also *very* grateful that it did.
Posted by happyflower on June 10, 2005, at 20:05:02
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
I like your T, Aphrodite! I think keeping busy must be the key. My T says exercise it good all around too. I feel sometimes if I can just start something like gardening, cleaning or anything physical, it helps me a lot plus I accomplish something too. I like some of your T's suggestions, plus it helped you more than once! What a valuable lesson you T taught you that you can carry on for the rest of your life! :)
Posted by annierose on June 10, 2005, at 21:11:13
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
I liked how your T helped you through your depression. I especially like making the lists of your 5 favorite therapy moments ... how did he know that we have favorite moments? Now I'm trying to think of mine and it's bringing a smile to my face.
I'm glad he read what you gave him and discussed it with you. That sounded like a very special session. Good for you for following through.
Annierose
Posted by gardenergirl on June 11, 2005, at 0:25:30
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
Thanks for sharing that. I think I would have had the same reaction as you...busywork. I'm so glad your T validated your writing. And I'm glad it worked for you. I know you have been through some rough stuff in the past months.
It's nice to see your name here on the board.
Take care,
gg
Posted by Dinah on June 11, 2005, at 9:52:07
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
That sounds like a fabulous list, and one that shows how very well he knows you.
My therapist has suggested things like that, but never in a way that also increased our bonding. I am very impressed.
It's great to see you again! I hope you manage to stay around for a while, or if not, at least to keep in contact through email?
Posted by littleone on June 11, 2005, at 18:05:07
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
Thank you so much for sharing that Aphrodite. I've printed it out to hold on to for whenever I feel very bad. And I'm so glad it worked for you. I don't like to think of the alternative.
It's lovely to see you post. Please know that I've been thinking of you while you've been quiet.
Posted by Jazzed on June 11, 2005, at 20:31:44
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
That is so cool, what a great T you have.
Thanks for sharing.Jazzy
Posted by daisym on June 11, 2005, at 23:54:48
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
You sound a little better, I'm glad you've found things that work for you. Your therapist seems to have quite a bag of tricks, which is so very cool!
I'll have to keep all those things in mind when I'm looking for a distraction.
Posted by Poet on June 12, 2005, at 12:16:15
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
Hi Aphrodite,
What a great assignment. It helped connect yourself to yourself (so to speak) and all parts to your T.
I'm so glad that it worked and that you are feeling better. It's good to hear therapy assignments that work, too. Inspiration for me.
Post when you can. I like having you back.
Poet
Posted by antigua on June 13, 2005, at 13:29:20
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
Posted by cricket on June 13, 2005, at 13:55:49
In reply to Something that worked for me!, posted by Aphrodite on June 10, 2005, at 19:54:45
"He asked me to go on a walk, pretend he was with me, and write about things I saw and what I would have said to him if he were with me on that walk."
For some reason, that one was what I longed for. How I wish my T gave me that assignment. Maybe because I almost never let him inside my head. It seems so daring and bold, first to do it and then to talk about it afterwards.
This is the end of the thread.
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