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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jammerlich on July 7, 2005, at 23:44:41
I'm still torturing myself over this letter to my former therapist. It has been so excruciating to try and write. One sentence and I am reduced to tears.
At the rate I'm going, it could be weeks before I finish it, but would any of you be willing to look it over for me when the day comes? A lot is riding on this so I care very much how I come across. It's so hard to find a balance. I want to be reasonable but not so reasonable that it seems like I don't care. And I want to impart how important this all is to me without seeming manipulative or too needy. It's so hard. I'm afraid every word is going to be analyzed.
For some reason, I'm not comfortable with the idea of posting it here. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I'm worried my former T or someone else who knows me reads here?? I'd be more comfortable babble mailing.
Again, it's not even finished yet. I guess I'm hoping that having someone willing to read it and give me feedback will help me get a move on and not be so scared.
Posted by pinkeye on July 7, 2005, at 23:50:02
In reply to If I could ever write it, would someone read it??, posted by jammerlich on July 7, 2005, at 23:44:41
I can read it if that would help you. pinkeye_babble@yahoo.com
Posted by 10derHeart on July 8, 2005, at 0:12:30
In reply to If I could ever write it, would someone read it??, posted by jammerlich on July 7, 2005, at 23:44:41
Sure, I'd be honored to read it.
Just Babblemail me any time.
Sorry this is so distressing and lingers on so...I was there, too, with my ex-T.
I do understand the intense feelings, as much as another person can, I guess.
Hope you can distract yourself and soothe yourself often...so it's not always on your mind.
Easier said than done :-(Hugs (if okay)..10derHeart
Posted by jammerlich on July 8, 2005, at 0:21:30
In reply to Re: If I could ever write it, would someone read it?? » jammerlich, posted by pinkeye on July 7, 2005, at 23:50:02
Thank you, pinkeye. I'll be sure to send it your way when the time comes!
Posted by jammerlich on July 8, 2005, at 0:33:30
In reply to Re: If I could ever write it, would someone read it?? » jammerlich, posted by 10derHeart on July 8, 2005, at 0:12:30
> Sure, I'd be honored to read it.
>
> Just Babblemail me any time.
>
> Sorry this is so distressing and lingers on so...I was there, too, with my ex-T.
>
> I do understand the intense feelings, as much as another person can, I guess.**** I know you understand. That's what is so great about Babble. Having people who *know* what it's like.
> Hope you can distract yourself and soothe yourself often...so it's not always on your mind.
> Easier said than done :-(***** Up to this week, I'd really been doing fairly well. Yes, I thought about it at least once every day and sometimes I cried a little, but for the most part I was ok. But this week has been so different. Just constant pain, sadness and so many tears that I'm not sure my eyes will ever NOT be splotchy again.
And my husband isn't helping either. He tells me it's hard for him to see me like this. So in turn I feel guilty for letting my pain be seen. I can barely take care of myself. I can't take care of him too. And today he asked what I was "doing about it." Well, I am *trying* to write the letter, but that doesn't necessarily mean things will get any better. I could be facing another rejection and that would mean things might get worse for a bit. I told him that sometimes there's really nothing you *can* do but ride the wave until it passes, and try not to drown. I hope he's man enough to handle it.
> Hugs (if okay)..10derHeart***** Thank you. Hugs are always ok. And they always help.
Posted by annierose on July 8, 2005, at 6:36:53
In reply to If I could ever write it, would someone read it??, posted by jammerlich on July 7, 2005, at 23:44:41
Writing letters to T are so hard. It's so easy to over-think every word and sentence. When I write my therapist a note, which isn't often, I may have a glass of wine to relax me so I don't edit myself. I'll ask myself, "what am I trying to convey? what do I need her to hear?" ... and just write all those thoughts down.
Yes, I would be happy to read your letter.
Good Luck.I don't remember the circumstances of your situation. Did you just recently terminate?
Annierose
Posted by Tamar on July 8, 2005, at 18:26:11
In reply to If I could ever write it, would someone read it??, posted by jammerlich on July 7, 2005, at 23:44:41
> I'm still torturing myself over this letter to my former therapist. It has been so excruciating to try and write. One sentence and I am reduced to tears.
I'm so sorry you're finding it so difficult. I can imagine it's very tough. You probably want to be able to express everything and it's so hard to find any words at all... even harder to find the right words.
> At the rate I'm going, it could be weeks before I finish it, but would any of you be willing to look it over for me when the day comes? A lot is riding on this so I care very much how I come across. It's so hard to find a balance. I want to be reasonable but not so reasonable that it seems like I don't care. And I want to impart how important this all is to me without seeming manipulative or too needy. It's so hard. I'm afraid every word is going to be analyzed.
Exactly.
> For some reason, I'm not comfortable with the idea of posting it here. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe I'm worried my former T or someone else who knows me reads here?? I'd be more comfortable babble mailing.
I can understand that. It's a public forum and anyone could be reading. A letter to your T is a private thing.
> Again, it's not even finished yet. I guess I'm hoping that having someone willing to read it and give me feedback will help me get a move on and not be so scared.
I'd be happy to read it if you want to share it with me. I teach literature, so I do a lot of working with texts. I can usually point to the different ways people might read something. Feel free to babblemail me anytime.
Tamar
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