![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 12, 2005, at 8:01:43
I'm new to babble and new to therapy and had never heard of transference until i "caught it" a few weeks ago. My T says it will eventually diminish but he cant say when. I believe it's interfering with therapy and it's making me crazy. How do i get rid of it?
Posted by Declan on August 12, 2005, at 8:01:44
In reply to Transference making me nuts!, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 11, 2005, at 19:43:22
You from Australia? I am. Hello and welcome.
Look I dunno what sort of therapy you are doing, and that might make a lot of difference, but I can't see how transferance could be interfering with therapy because transferance (or interpreting the transferance) is the most important part of therapy. This might not be right, you know, exactly, but if you get my drift.....As for making you crazy, that doesn't surprise, I found the whole process pretty painful and confronting, and of course hugely frustrating. (And from time to time really profound and impressive.) I continued with it for so long because I am a bit of a monomaniac.
This will probably be shifted to the psych board. You might like to look there too.
Declan
Posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 12, 2005, at 8:01:44
In reply to Re: Transference making me nuts!, posted by Declan on August 11, 2005, at 20:34:45
Well G'day Declan. I was born and raised in oz and moved to NY 11 years ago. ( thats why Im nuts).
I dont know what kind of therapy Im doing either :) My doc is a psychotherapist and i dont know what method he uses (guess i should ask). The transference is making me crazy because i cant focus on anything else.
Posted by Shortelise on August 12, 2005, at 11:02:15
In reply to Transference making me nuts!, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 11, 2005, at 19:43:22
transference is a great tool. You can use it.
What we do is work out things with our therapist as if he were the person with whom the emotions originated.
We can love, hate, disparage, lust after, etc. those poor shrinks. Their job is to help us through all of those feelings, and out the others side.
I feel and feel again that my T is going to slam me, reject me, hate me. Ok, my mother pulled lots of stupid crap with me when I was small, and I'm working it out with this blank slate of a T. That's what he is for. We are supposed to tranfer up his one side and down the other.
Go with it, if you can. Talk about it with him/her.
It's often this old stuff that comes up as transference that's the deep deep stuff we need to work through in order to feel better.
I'm sorry it's driving you crazy. I think it drives us all crazy, but it may be the path to sane.
I used to see my T as this evil man, cruelly evil, gazing at me, watching me writhe. Nothing, but nothing could be further from the truth.
(((Kanga)))
ShortE
Posted by madeline on August 12, 2005, at 13:04:50
In reply to Transference making me nuts!, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 11, 2005, at 19:43:22
Kanga,
Talk about it with your therapist, then talk about it some more, and then when that is done, talk about it again and then start over talking about it.If he is a good therapist, then he should use this as a powerful tool to look at how you approach relationships in general.
Also, from my own personal experience, don't call it transference that label kind of diminishes how you feel, which is real and powerful.
The situation in which you experience transference may be a bit contrived, but the feelings aren't.
Allow yourself to enjoy them and grieve them, it will open up into a wonderful healing relationship with your therapist.
Posted by Tamar on August 12, 2005, at 13:34:09
In reply to Transference making me nuts!, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 11, 2005, at 19:43:22
> I'm new to babble and new to therapy and had never heard of transference until i "caught it" a few weeks ago. My T says it will eventually diminish but he cant say when. I believe it's interfering with therapy and it's making me crazy. How do i get rid of it?
Welcome to Babble!
It might depend a little on your T's theoretical approach, i.e. whether he is doing CBT with you or something else. Different approaches to therapy can involve different ways of dealing with transference.
From everything I've read, I think the best way to make it go away is to talk about it to your T as often as you need to. That's not always the way of approaching transference in CBT, but to be honest I think if transference has hit you hard there's probably not much other way to do it.
Just my two cents.
Tamar
Posted by LittleGirlLost on August 12, 2005, at 14:09:46
In reply to Transference making me nuts!, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 11, 2005, at 19:43:22
>> I'm new to babble and new to therapy and had never heard of transference until i "caught it" a few weeks ago. My T says it will eventually diminish but he cant say when. I believe it's interfering with therapy and it's making me crazy. How do i get rid of it?
Welcome to the board. You will find much support here and many people that can relate (which I find very helpful). I don't post too much because I also struggle with the intense transference. I find that talking about it here, even though it helps, also triggers me into thinking about my T, and all the feelings come up again. So... yes, I can relate to your post and your feelings of "Transference making me nuts!" :)~LGL
Posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 12, 2005, at 14:25:04
In reply to Re: Transference making me nuts! » FlyingKangaroo, posted by LittleGirlLost on August 12, 2005, at 14:09:46
Thank you all for making me understand that it aint just me. I have been on this site (obsessing) since 6pm last night continuosly> I havent slept, eatin or moved for 21 hours. Was waiting for you all i guess. I dont evn know why i am in therapy yet (not diagnosed) and i dont even know what technique the T uses (didnt even know there was different kinds) Maybe i should change my name to NOVICE? Anyhow, i am so glad the i found this site and if you all can put up with my clueless self i guess i will be stickin around.
Posted by sleepygirl on August 14, 2005, at 14:03:02
In reply to Transference making me nuts!, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 11, 2005, at 19:43:22
Unfortunately, when we begin relationships, especially intimate therapeutic relationships, we just are who we are, for better or for worse. It is however often amplified in therapy. Then it becomes an opportunity to look very closely at our reactions in the here and now and consider the whys. We all learn what we live. We come to expect certain things based on our past experiences which we bring with us, and/or we value so much the safety and attention of therapy because we lacked it before. It becomes an opportunity to look at past hurts, understand our reactions, and hopefully grow, internalize some of the comfort and get more of what we want out of life and love.
Anyway, this may be a bit too general or doesn't fit well for you, but BELIEVE ME-I've lived through it (still living through it, but a lot less focused on it) and I'm alive to tell the tale. It can really suck to go through it in "real time" as I like to say, we can talk a lot about how we feel, but sometimes feeling it can be so uncomfortable.
I think you've got some perspective on it, that helps I think. So, I'd risk it and voice just what you've said-the concerns you've voiced here, talk about other stuff too, but acknowledge it for yourself. If your T is used to handling it then it will be as they say "grist for the mill". Hang in there roo, and hang out here too. :-)
Best wishes,
sleepygirl (NYer)
Posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 14, 2005, at 18:50:24
In reply to Re: Transference making me nuts!, posted by sleepygirl on August 14, 2005, at 14:03:02
Unfortunately, when we begin relationships, especially intimate therapeutic relationships, we just are who we are, for better or for worse. It is however often amplified in therapy. Then it becomes an opportunity to look very closely at our reactions in the here and now and consider the whys. We all learn what we live. We come to expect certain things based on our past experiences which we bring with us, and/or we value so much the safety and attention of therapy because we lacked it before. It becomes an opportunity to look at past hurts, understand our reactions, and hopefully grow, internalize some of the comfort and get more of what we want out of life and love.
>
> Anyway, this may be a bit too general or doesn't fit well for you, but BELIEVE ME-I've lived through it (still living through it, but a lot less focused on it) and I'm alive to tell the tale. It can really suck to go through it in "real time" as I like to say, we can talk a lot about how we feel, but sometimes feeling it can be so uncomfortable.
>
> I think you've got some perspective on it, that helps I think. So, I'd risk it and voice just what you've said-the concerns you've voiced here, talk about other stuff too, but acknowledge it for yourself. If your T is used to handling it then it will be as they say "grist for the mill". Hang in there roo, and hang out here too. :-)
> Best wishes,
> sleepygirl (NYer)Thanks sleepygirl.
Knowing that I'm not alone helps a lot also from what I've read on these boards it seems to be O.K.to feel like this. I'm sure that in my case it comes from growing up fatherless. Just wish i had an idea that this sort of thing can happen in therapy before going in. I will definately be hanging out around here. :)
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.