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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cricket on September 19, 2005, at 8:39:16
We've circled a bit around this issue for a few days. But Fairywings got me thinking that there seem to be a fair number of us with inner children that show up at therapy.
So I was wondering what the different experiences really are?
Do you go to therapy with the idea that an inner child is going to speak?
Or does it just happen spontaneously?
Do you actually let them speak?
Is it in a kid's voice?
Or do they speak in your head and you translate?
How does your therapist react?
Is she/he caring?
Does your therapist talk in an age appropriate way?
Or does your therapist talk the same as he does to adult you?
Do all your inner children like your therapist?
How do you feel when your therapist spends a session interacting with one of the kids?
Do you ever feel like your therapist takes their side over yours?
Do you kids talk to you outside of therapy?
If so, do they talk about your therapist?
Lots of questions.
Posted by 64bowtie on September 19, 2005, at 11:11:16
In reply to Therapy and Inner children, posted by cricket on September 19, 2005, at 8:39:16
cricket,
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/554523.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050912/msgs/555974.html
Its about the child within having more to do with an unmanaged 'gut' than folks are aware of, or willing to admit... Adults may cherish their childhood, lord knows I do... Adulthood is full of problem solving and conflict resolution... For the most part, FREEDOM and HAPPINESS are biproducts of successful adult functioning, and has little to do with childhood...
Attempting to recreate the feelings of my childhood, sadly misses the point... I catch myself before any 'disasters' more often these days... I still remember my childhood... I just no longer let my childhood 'highjack' my adult sensibilities...
Rod
Posted by gardenergirl on September 19, 2005, at 12:42:33
In reply to Therapy and Inner children, posted by cricket on September 19, 2005, at 8:39:16
Hi Cricket,
I think that exploring the idea of an inner child in therapy can be very useful. I know that a lot of the pain that comes up for me in sessions has to do with childhood experiences. After processing this over and over, I have this sort of picture in my head of what that little girl (me) looked like. I don't know that the picture I have in my head is directly related to how I actually looked and acted as a child. But the image is more like a sad, lonely, longing little girl who just wanted her daddy to love her.She doesn't have a specific and individual voice, although I know some people do have that. And my T doesn't really talk to her. Rather, I can tell sometimes that things I say, or long to say, or fear saying, come from that place inside me where that little girl resides.
I mean this sort of metaphorically in my case. But some people have a more concrete image of an inner child. That can be useful and okay, too. It is important for the T to be aware of this and to tread carefully. If someone has a very fragile or fragmented ego (sense of self), then working with an inner child can make this worse.
I hope that helps. A mix of my experience and a bit of knowledge. :)
Good question.
gg
Posted by Shortelise on September 19, 2005, at 12:43:55
In reply to Therapy and Inner children, posted by cricket on September 19, 2005, at 8:39:16
> We've circled a bit around this issue for a few days. But Fairywings got me thinking that there seem to be a fair number of us with inner children that show up at therapy.
>
> So I was wondering what the different experiences really are?
>
> Do you go to therapy with the idea that an inner child is going to speak?
I didn't.
>
> Or does it just happen spontaneously?
yes
>
> Do you actually let them speak?
I never did - it didn't occur to me that this was an option
>
> Is it in a kid's voice?
>
> Or do they speak in your head and you translate?Not really. My T was able to help me recognize the origin of my feelings, the catalyst to how I was acting. The inner child was not so much talking as acting out.
>
> How does your therapist react?
With caring
>
> Is she/he caring?
> yup
> Does your therapist talk in an age appropriate way?
> always
> Or does your therapist talk the same as he does to adult you?
he seems to recognize when I am in regressed feelings and talks to me in was gentle, calm, warm way.
>
> Do all your inner children like your therapist?I hold a lot of anger toward "authority". He's a doc, and I mistrust them
>
> How do you feel when your therapist spends a session interacting with one of the kids?
Cared for
>
> Do you ever feel like your therapist takes their side over yours?
He always tries to integrate the child with the adult me, not separate them. They are a facet of what is Me
>
> Do your kids talk to you outside of therapy?
Not in voices that are separate from my own, but I do have reactions, actions and thoughts that are not the integrated Me
>
> If so, do they talk about your therapist?You bet ya they do. When I am feeling afraid of him, afraid that he is going to dump me, hurt me, suspect him of bad things, suspect that he hates me, wants to hurt me, etc, that is NOT my mature mind in actions, but the coming out of my child fears, the resurgence of the feelings I had about the adults around me when I was little. But I don't have a sepreate "voice", I just have feelings, and I tell myself these things.
I hope this helps, Cricket. It's interesting to think about this in the way you ask these questions.
ShortE
Posted by Tamar on September 19, 2005, at 16:53:49
In reply to Therapy and Inner children, posted by cricket on September 19, 2005, at 8:39:16
Thanks for this thread, cricket. It’s made me think about some of my experiences in therapy that I couldn’t quite figure out.
> So I was wondering what the different experiences really are?
>
> Do you go to therapy with the idea that an inner child is going to speak?That wasn’t my experience.
> Or does it just happen spontaneously?
Yeah, spontaneously. When I think back, it happened in my very first session, though I didn’t realise what was going on at all. I suddenly felt as if I was about fifteen. I don’t know if it was an inner child thing or whether a word like regression describes it better. I’m not sure… It’s something I’m thinking about.
> Do you actually let them speak?
I didn’t entirely realise it was not ‘my voice’, but on reflection it definitely wasn’t the 35 year-old ‘me’ that was speaking. So I guess I didn’t try to prevent it.
> Is it in a kid's voice?
>
> Or do they speak in your head and you translate?I haven’t had that experience in therapy but I’ve had something like that experience outside therapy (whatever it is; I’ve never translated for anyone).
> How does your therapist react?
The few times it happened I didn’t know what was going on, so I don’t know whether he realised. Probably; he’s the professional! He stayed calm and replied on the level at which I was talking (if that makes sense).
> Is she/he caring?
Yes, he was.
> Does your therapist talk in an age appropriate way?Yes.
> Or does your therapist talk the same as he does to adult you?
Not quite. But somehow it felt as if he led me through that particular discussion and brought me back into my ‘usual’ self.
> Do all your inner children like your therapist?
Yes.
> How do you feel when your therapist spends a session interacting with one of the kids?
Understood.
> Do you ever feel like your therapist takes their side over yours?
That never happened to me.
> Do you kids talk to you outside of therapy?
Sometimes, but it’s not easy to describe.
> If so, do they talk about your therapist?
Not so far, but I’m curious to know whether that discussion could happen.
> Lots of questions.
Very good questions! Thanks, cricket!
Tamar
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