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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by felicity77 on September 21, 2005, at 16:13:27
My apologies for posting here, but no one replied on the other board. This is about psychiatrist-patient etiquette really, I suppose. Here it is. Thanks and apologies.
Hello all,
I wasn't sure where to post this question so I'll have a go here. I need to give some background to give the question context. I am a 4th year medical student and I'm struggling with my new bipolar diagnosis. I have a great doc. We have been meeting a lot and fiddling with medications and I'm doing pretty well. However, I'm about to embark on 3 months of clinical rotations, in other states. So we won't see each other for a while. I am quite worried about this, only because I've lost quite a lot of confidence and I know the intensity medical school requires (not to mention the lack of sleep I will have to endure!) However, I love it and I'm looking forward to it as well. Anyway, today I told my doc my worst fears, and I started crying a bit. I told him that I was afraid it would be the last time we would see each other, because what if something happened and I was far away...etc etc. Anyway, I asked him if he needed to say anything to me, in case I wouldnt survive. What an idiot I was! I dont know how I thought that would be anything but disturbing to him. Anyway, my calm and quiet and very kind doctor's eyes got very red and filled with tears. It was awful. He almost started to cry.
So, now, I am at home, thinking on this, and I feel just terrible. I actually made the man cry. I think I was very insensitive in a way. I mean, I was trying to be honest and I was honest, but its awful to think I upset him that much.
Here's my question, sorry it took ten years to get to it. I wrote a two page letter that said I was sorry and that explained my current state of mind, fears about not finishing medical school, and such. I am very into writing and so I said in this letter what I couldnt express as well out loud. Is it okay to send such a thing? I dont want to appear to be obsessed or something. I just really want to apologize. I know he wouldn't want me to apologize, and in fact he told me I have nothing to apologize for, but I still want to send my letter, which also includes my heartfelt thanks for all he has done over the last year or so.
What do you think? Should I just forget about it and file the letter away with my other ramblings? I am not sure about doctor etiquette. I know I wouldn't mind if my own patients sent me letters thanking me and explaining themselves, but then again, I'm not a shrink (yet!). Thanks in advance for your replies.
Posted by crazy teresa on September 21, 2005, at 16:13:28
In reply to letter to your shrink?i dont know where2 post this, posted by felicity77 on September 21, 2005, at 15:10:17
I hope you're not feeling ignored because you didn't get an answer to your question. It seems like the boards have slowed way down since school started.
I don't see any harm in sending the letter; just don't say anything you will regret later-- I would avoid rehashing the last meeting. It sounds as if he is a very compassionate person to have shared his emotions with you and would probably appreciate a short note of thanks. Plus maybe it wouldn't hurt on a professional level either. Feeling appreciated is great no matter who you are or what you do!
Best of luck to you going without all that sleep! I haven't been to med school, but I've survived 3 kids! ;~}
crazy teresa
Posted by Declan on September 21, 2005, at 17:12:21
In reply to Re: letter to your shrink?i dont know where2 post this » felicity77, posted by crazy teresa on September 21, 2005, at 15:59:12
I wouldn't apologise to him. If you do that you imply having done something wrong and his sensitive response to you is perhaps thereby devalued. Instead I would thank him for his care, concern, humanity etc.
And yes, I think teresa is right. Don't overdo analysis of the last session.
Really, he sounds so nice.
Declan
Posted by crazy teresa on September 21, 2005, at 18:00:31
In reply to Re: letter to your shrink?i dont know where2 post this, posted by Declan on September 21, 2005, at 17:12:21
Posted by felicity77 on September 22, 2005, at 12:10:48
In reply to Good point about the apology! (nm) » Declan, posted by crazy teresa on September 21, 2005, at 18:00:31
thank you so much for your advice.
I did send it. I didnt rehash much. I kept it simple, but did try to explain a bit why i am so anxious about the future, since its easier to put into writing for me. i said i was sorry that he cried and that i would prefer to make him laugh, but didnt harp on that.
thank you so much, folks. and yes, i really am lucky. i surf around posts here and so many people seem unhappy with their doctors. its very sad. i am very lucky. it took me a while to find him though. i recommend everyone get rid of any doctor who doesnt make them feel totally valued, in control, and connected.
cheers,
felicity
Posted by Shortelise on September 24, 2005, at 1:28:10
In reply to letter to your shrink?i dont know where2 post this, posted by felicity77 on September 21, 2005, at 15:10:17
My psychiatrist's eyes have often filled with tears when I've talked about very sad or touching things. He is sensitive, and I have to expect that at times things will move him. If I tried to hurt him, I would apologize. Otherwise, from me it would be a thank-you for his kind heart.
I'm glad people like you become docs, Felicity.
ShortE
Posted by Declan on September 24, 2005, at 17:44:34
In reply to Re: letter to your shrink?i dont know where2 post this » felicity77, posted by Shortelise on September 24, 2005, at 1:28:10
Over thousands of sessions my therapist would have been in tears a couple of dozen times. (Not because of how badly I treated her). They were mostly wonderful poignant moments, rare (in normal life) and to be treasured.
Declan
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