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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by vwoolf on December 9, 2005, at 0:06:29
I haven’t posted for a very long time, but I often read Babble and follow what’s going on in your lives. I have been intrigued by the discussion on how T’s and you all sit in therapy, and your favorite positions. It strikes me how you all seem to stay very still in your chairs. Do none of you ever move around the room?
I started out in therapy sitting in a high backed armchair with my t in a similar one at an angle a few feet away. After a few sessions I began to feel as if I was drowning – I had obviously sunk right down into the chair and could barely get my head over the armrest, lol. One day I slipped off the chair onto the floor and asked her if I she minded if I sat there in future because I couldn’t breathe in the chair. She looked horrified, but offered me her chair, which is where I have sat ever since. With a cushion in front of me and my legs crossed. A power statement, if ever I saw one.
However when I am angry or upset, I get up and roam about the room, picking up toys or various objects. Sometimes I will sit on the couch, sideways, with my arms and legs dangling over to the floor. It’s as if I find myself too constrained by the chair. She tries to keep cool when I am walking around but I am sure she feels very threatened. I have never acted out aggressively, but I have often had impulses to crash a vase to the floor – I have told her about this, and it has become a joke between us. I have occasionally found pieces of broken glass in her room, and she is always quick to tell me that she dropped a glass. I sometimes wonder if any of her other clients really do smash things.
Does anyone else do anything like this.
Posted by Shortelise on December 9, 2005, at 1:27:24
In reply to Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by vwoolf on December 9, 2005, at 0:06:29
Only on rare occasion, early on, when things felt overwhelming I would move around the room a little. Now I don't. Maybe to look at a book, or something int he office that's new, but never because I just feel I have to move.
Are you a very physical person? A dancer, perhaps? Are you very much "in" your body, like, you know when you're ovulating, know how different foods make you feel, etc.? I ask because I think some people really express themselves through movement, and constraining movement might constrain expression.
I can sit easily and talk with my T, though I move around a lot in my seat, a sofa, it is. But come to think of it, he has a new sofa, and it is so much more comfortable that the old one that for that reason alone I am less antsy. I hold a cushion, and move it around. Sometimes though if I am really involved, I find at the end of the session that I have barely moved.
Intersting question, vwoolf.
ShortE
Posted by cubic_me on December 9, 2005, at 7:34:40
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy? » vwoolf, posted by Shortelise on December 9, 2005, at 1:27:24
I've never walked around in therapy - I'm too shy! I'd think they'd think I was mad or something, even though I know in my mind that's not true.
In group therapy I always had this near overwhelming urge to go and hide under the huge pile of extra large cushions in the corner of the room though.
Posted by Anneke on December 9, 2005, at 8:00:47
In reply to Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by vwoolf on December 9, 2005, at 0:06:29
I've never walked around, but I have picked up a pillow and thrown it across the room....my therapist calmly picked it up, threw it back at me and told me to throw it harder! I think that moving around is a great thing, though...shows that you're in tune with what your body needs...
Anneke
Posted by Dinah on December 9, 2005, at 8:10:39
In reply to Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by vwoolf on December 9, 2005, at 0:06:29
I've sunk to the floor a few times to hug my knees when I felt like I was going to pass out sitting up. It seemed somehow better than sitting with my head between my knees. But I only pace in the waiting room.
It's really nice to see you again, vwoolf. I hope you're well?
Posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 10:07:15
In reply to Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by vwoolf on December 9, 2005, at 0:06:29
I don't walk around, the rooms too small, but I wouldn't anyway. Have you asked your T if it makes her uncomfortable when you roam, or what she's thinking. How does it make you feel that you think she's threatened?
I wonder why it horrified your T when you felt like you were drowning and fell to the floor? What gave you the impression she was horrified. Was she horrified with concern that you felt that way, or horrified by the fact that you fell to the ground?
Sometimes my T will put his feet on a table that's in front of me, and I feel trapped, like I'm being prevented from leaving. I'm not being prevented, he's just being comfortable. I don't want to leave, and I like when he looks so comfortable, but the trapped feeling isn't good. I wonder if T's think about all of this stuff.
fw
Posted by happyflower on December 9, 2005, at 10:18:32
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy? » vwoolf, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 10:07:15
I once got up while he was recording my payment before we started, I wanted to look out the window,I was nervous, he is 7 stories up. It kinda made him nervous. He said , no the window doesn't open, so you can't jump! LOL
Posted by cubic_me on December 9, 2005, at 11:03:00
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by happyflower on December 9, 2005, at 10:18:32
> I once got up while he was recording my payment before we started, I wanted to look out the window,I was nervous, he is 7 stories up. It kinda made him nervous. He said , no the window doesn't open, so you can't jump! LOL
I always think of jumping out of the window, where ever I am. My old T was only on the 2nd floor though so it wouldn't have been worth it!
Posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 11:38:03
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by cubic_me on December 9, 2005, at 11:03:00
> I always think of jumping out of the window, where ever I am. My old T was only on the 2nd floor though so it wouldn't have been worth it!
>I wish you could talk to someone about that Cubic, it has to be a horrible feeling.
fw
Posted by cubic_me on December 9, 2005, at 11:48:38
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy? » cubic_me, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 11:38:03
>
> > I always think of jumping out of the window, where ever I am. My old T was only on the 2nd floor though so it wouldn't have been worth it!
> >
>
> I wish you could talk to someone about that Cubic, it has to be a horrible feeling.
> fw
>I suppose so. I guess it's my way of knowing I have a way out if I want it (even if I wouldn't use it)
Posted by pegasus on December 9, 2005, at 12:33:42
In reply to Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by vwoolf on December 9, 2005, at 0:06:29
Good question. I've been following how people and their ts sit, and it's interesting. I used to often sit on the floor, and draw with crayons he had for his kid clients. I felt so much more comfortable there than in chairs or couches. Sometimes I'd move around down there - lie on my back, on my belly propped up on my elbows, curled up into a ball, that kind of thing. I think it made me feel like a kid and more authentic. I always wanted to ask him to come sit on the floor too, so we'd be on the same level. But I never had the guts.
Once he got up and started walking around (I was on the couch), picking dead leaves off of the plants. Then he came right up to me, and I flinched, but he was just tossing the leaves in the trash, which was right next to where I was sitting. We were talking about whether it was ok to hug. Felt really weird.
Peg
Posted by muffled on December 9, 2005, at 13:24:41
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by pegasus on December 9, 2005, at 12:33:42
I drag my T outside sometimes. I lay on my back and sit up on the lawn. Sometimes we walk.
The office is too small to move around. I sit nearer the door and often look at it. My T teases me about looking for a way to escape.
Sigh.
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:01:59
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy? » vwoolf, posted by Shortelise on December 9, 2005, at 1:27:24
> Are you a very physical person? A dancer, perhaps? Are you very much "in" your body,
I found this question really surprising. I have never been "in" my body at all, and have never been able to dance and do sports well. Typical csa dissociation. But since starting therapy I have been taking dance and art classes as part of my therapy, and have found huge changes coming through my new body awareness. Perhaps this is why I am beginning to be able to express feelings physically as well. Thanks for the thoughtful reply, Shortelise
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:12:19
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by pegasus on December 9, 2005, at 12:33:42
Perhaps he would sit with you on the floor - I'd try and ask if I were you. I wish my t would let me roll around and play, but she won't.
Interesting what you say about flinching. A few weeks ago I noticed a piece of broken glass on the floor while I was storming around the room. I froze, then, walking very slowly, watching her carefully, I bent down and picked it up with two fingers and threw it in the rubbish bin. I was afraid she would think I was going to attack her with it. I spoke to her about my fear in the next session. She said she had been afraid I might hurt myself, that she had not felt any fear for herself. But the fact that I had thought that obviously meant I had very hostile, agressive feelings towards her. I suppose she must be right, although I hadn't been aware of them at the time. But usually when I move around the room it is because I am full of rage. And I know that at times I would like to hurt her.
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:39:18
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy? » vwoolf, posted by Dinah on December 9, 2005, at 8:10:39
Hi Dinah, thanks for the welcome back. I am very well, although I still have lots of ups and downs and my therapy is nowhere near finished. But my life has changed a lot in the last year. It's become more complicated, but much richer and more exciting. I feel creative and full of joy a lot of the time, and if I could only sustain it longer, I would consider myself fortunate with my life. I know you have been having a lot of troubles since the hurricane, and my thoughts have been with you a lot over these past months. I hope you are finding your way through all the difficulties.
I find it hard to write when things are going well - I seem to be able to take everything to therapy, and it almost feels like a betrayal to post here. I think I am needing to post again now because my t is going on holiday for three weeks starting on Tuesday, and I feel abandoned and bereft, even though we will be having regular contact while she is away.
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:40:42
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:39:18
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:41:52
In reply to Last post was for Dinah (nm), posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:40:42
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:49:13
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by cubic_me on December 9, 2005, at 7:34:40
>> I'd think they'd think I was mad or something, even though I know in my mind that's not true.
Funny, I also was afraid my t would think I was mad. Then, when she kept telling me she thought I wasn't, I tried to prove that I was. I tried to do all the maddest things I could think of. And she just kept telling me I wasn't mad and that I had never been mad. It's funny, I'm beginning to believe her, even though somewhere deep down I still feel a bit mad. I have read that a lot of abuse survivors have this feeling.
I've also hidden under chairs and things in group, but my group is based on psychodrama, so it's ok to do it there.....
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:50:59
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy?, posted by cubic_me on December 9, 2005, at 11:03:00
> I always think of jumping out of the window, where ever I am.I'm interested. Why would you do that? To get away? To hurt your T?
Posted by cubic_me on December 10, 2005, at 14:03:37
In reply to Re: Sitting and walking around in Therapy? » cubic_me, posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 4:50:59
>
> > I always think of jumping out of the window, where ever I am.
>
> I'm interested. Why would you do that? To get away? To hurt your T?Definately not to hurt my T. I think about it everywhere (not just in therapy) but often it gets more intense when I am in an uncomfortable or difficult situation. Perhaps a way of knowing I have an escape if I want to, perhaps something left over from when I was very very suicidal and that was all I thought about (everything I saw was a way to end my life). I used to think about throwing myself down stairs whenever I was going down them but those thoughts have reduced a lot.
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