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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 8:51:35
Lots of crossed arms and legs, lots of sitting with legs up under, lots of sitting face to face, but what do you look at? How much eye contact? If you're trying to remember something do you look up and to your R or L, down, or straight ahead?
I don't make a lot of eye contact, and when I do it's pretty brief. I'd really like to be able to look at him more, but since he sits off to the side just a bit it feels uncomfortable, maybe I'll have to mention it. I realized one time, after seeing him after several appts., I didn't really even know what he looked like, and was surprised at the facial hair - didn't remember it.
When remembering I've heard you look up and to the L? But I don't do that, sometimes I look straight up, sometimes forward, and sometimes down. I don't think I close my eyes.
I look a lot at the things in his office when I'm talking, but I'm not really taking them in all that much. I don't like to look at his desk because it feels like snooping. I'd never look at the papers or anything, but he has decorative stuff on there. I don't like it when he has the blinds up because I see him at night, and I feel exposed, so I don't look at the window at all. There's nothing out there, no parking lot or street, but there's an apartment not too far away.
fw
Posted by caraher on December 9, 2005, at 10:16:04
In reply to What do you look at in therapy?, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 8:51:35
My second-last T once asked me what was so interesting about my shoes. So at that time I must have been looking at them a lot...
With my next T we specifically worked on improving eye contact, and I did.
Posted by happyflower on December 9, 2005, at 10:29:23
In reply to What do you look at in therapy?, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 8:51:35
I look into his gorgous eyes! LOL We maintain a lot of eye contact. It was one of the first things he noticed about me. He said I might think I am shy, but I look people in the eye, and appear "friendly".
But like you FW, I didn't remember what he looked like for the first couple of session. I guess I was kinda nervous. But now I can't get that smiling face out of my mind! LOL
I think I am going through T withdrawl, it has been a whole 2 days I haven't seen him at the gym! LOL
I like looking at his window sometimes, he has a lot of nice plants there. Which he didn't have when I first started going, until he found out I like to garden. I think he wants to impress me! LOL
When I am relaxed I look around the room when I talk and then look back at him when I am done talking. But it seems like when I am more serious, I look right at him when I talk. Sometimes I just sit there drooling looking into his dreamy eyes! LOL He must think I am totally nuts! LOL I think I am, but I like myself that way! It is a lot more fun than being serious all the time. Okay, I will quit babbling now, I am in a talkitive mood today.
Posted by allisonross on December 9, 2005, at 10:59:13
In reply to **T*trigger :), posted by happyflower on December 9, 2005, at 10:29:23
Look him right in the eyes; he does the same; we mirror our body language....
Therre, I just wrote "talk of sex"
Hope that's okay
My therapist told me a long time ago that "therapy is a sexual dance."In other words; he/ they/ are aware of the difference in sexes, and conscious of the behavior, etc., boundaries, and one can tread a fine line, etc....or something like that...I mean HE said it, LOL
There is no desk between us........
I have a story for another time; gotta go now
Ally
Posted by B2chica on December 9, 2005, at 11:18:17
In reply to What do you look at in therapy?, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 8:51:35
mostly the carpet or this antiquish divider he has, it has elephants on it and i love elephants. the other thing is when i have my left leg up on the couch (knee to chin) i mostly stare at my jeans (the fold at the knee and i play with the material) i've noticed if i'm a little upset i pull on my shoe strings. (he pointed this out) we rarely make eye contact. except at beginning or end.
b2c.
Posted by Anneke on December 9, 2005, at 11:28:56
In reply to What do you look at in therapy?, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 8:51:35
I sometimes look past my therapist to the books on her shelf or the stuff around her office. But, I may be strange in that I also look at her a lot, mostly to gauge her reaction to what I'm saying and also, I admit, to soak in her incredible empathy. She has a wonderfully caring face and eyes that really make me feel "heard" for the first time in my life. Sometimes, though that gets too painful because it reminds me of how long I've gone without it.Then I go back to perusing her book selection...or her shoes.
Anneke
Posted by antigua on December 9, 2005, at 13:10:13
In reply to Re: What do you look at in therapy? » fairywings, posted by Anneke on December 9, 2005, at 11:28:56
I look at her a lot, but I mostly look at the carpet and the DOOR all the time.
antigua
Posted by javableue on December 9, 2005, at 13:33:04
In reply to What do you look at in therapy?, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 8:51:35
>I realized one time, after seeing him after several appts., I didn't really even know what he looked like, and was surprised at the facial hair - didn't remember it.
I had something like that happen, too; for the first few appointments, I was under the impression that my T was about 30 years old, when he is at least a good decade or two older. He is in pretty good shape considering his age, but still...
Nowadays, I tend to alternate between the corner of the room he isn't sitting in, usually either of the shelves (one has a bunch of odds and ends on it, the other his books), or out the window. I especially prefer the latter when it's snowing. I will, however, look at my T if the conversation is light or if I want to see his reaction.
jb
Posted by vwoolf on December 10, 2005, at 3:30:43
In reply to Re: What do you look at in therapy?, posted by javableue on December 9, 2005, at 13:33:04
I gaze into the fireplace or at my T's shoes, but when things are going well with therapy and me, I gaze deep into her eyes, and they are what I carry around with me outside therapy. I manage to recall them sometimes when I am feeling desperate and it helps to soothe me. It's funny, I disliked my T for a long time at the beginning of therapy, but after about a year I began to sculpt her face in clay, concentrating always only on her eyes. It was at about this time that things began to turn and change in my life.
This is the end of the thread.
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