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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by ClearSkies on December 14, 2005, at 20:20:03
She's the Big Sister and Confidante I never had. She reads my posture and gauges my moods as if I'm, um, wearing my heart on my sleeve. She gives me homework. She won't let us go too quickly and skip the hard stuff. She has launched a period of self inspection that I haven't dared go near for many years. Much more writing, journalling. Better words tumble out of my lips as I'm challenged, yet in a kind manner.
I'm going super sonic right now. Thoughts, memories, reflections, connections, extrapolations all right there for me to point to and say, "ah! That's it!". I think I can comprehend the meaning of and value of transference. Having an intelligent conversation is key. Talking to someone who has reviewed your last session BEFORE you walk into the room is another key. Someone who makes suggestions as to what tangent to follow, but lets you choose. And then coaxes you back to the path not taken, and why was it so?
I'm seeing her once a week at the moment, and have a lot of other stuff going on at the same time: yoga classes that have been one-on-one sessions due to holiday schedules; starting accupuncture treatment for TMJ and related headached; becoming more educated about perimenopause and how I can create a better dialogue between my doctor and myself, and how I can help my own situation (nutritional supplements).
In between I'm a slow moving turtle, working on one project after another. Currently redecorating our 1970's era barstools with a coast of paint and a new fabric for the seats so I'm not as embarassed to have them in my home.
Pruning down my massive book collection on the scale of "what would you take to a desert island with you?" A very interesting shake out of titles there.
Do a little bit, rest. Go for an appointment, drink a decaf coffee thing, run around and do grocery shopping (a big victory! No xanax need now), get home and rest. Get up and cook dinner, some never bloody ending housework, sit and sulk for a bit. Eat dinner and sit in front of the TV. The TV that belongs in a RobbReport Top 50 Companies' meeting room.Spend the next several hours trying to lower the noise level in my head and the adrenal level in all my limbs in trying to get ready for sleep. Currently the routine goes like this: wash face and neck with a yummy smelling cleanser I bought in Italy. I fairly expect to look like my 21 year-old neice by the time I finish the bottle. I brush my teeth, I waterpik my teeth and am slightly disgusted at what gets flushed out from between our teeth after we've brushed the buggers for 2 minutes. It's truly disgusting.
Smoothe a lovely smelling creme of ginger extrait that calms the skin to better receive the restorative nature of sleep,
Pop in my NTI night guard on my front teeth, Wrap a travel pillow around my neck to stabilize the movement. Reach over to the bedside and put on a CD - maybe Healing and Meditation, or The Best Hits of Massage Therapy, or, my favourite, the Sounds of The Sea, replete with wale songs, loons, seagulls, and both lapping AND crashing waves to listen to.The last step - putting on the eye mask with extra cushioning that covered the entire occipital area and applied a gentle pressure. Perfect for the low grade headache that might leave of its own accord given such a lovely and soft setting.
And I ready to....
Watch as my mind performs accrobatics before me. Thought are going loop-de-loops before me, one thought leading off to another, and there's another one waiting to take us off again in a different direction. I try to step back and observe as I can't stop it, no no no no no. No suggestion of Slowing Down or Let's Work on This Tomorrow has the slightest chance for success.After an hour and a half, the Ambien comes out. I do try to take it later as it works for ever shorter periods of time, and I end up wide awake at 3am.
I'm working on my anxiety from many different approaches, Cymbalt and Lamictal are keeping my darkest depression from my door and the manias from manifesting themselves as cruel and irrational rages. The GAD is better, but not gone by any means. My p-doc wants me to stop taking the xanax, I've done that and so the resulting anxiety, left unmedicated, persists throughout the day until it joins me in bed at night time.
So I'm preoccupied at the moment.
Posted by fairywings on December 14, 2005, at 21:28:42
In reply to A different kind of T for me., posted by ClearSkies on December 14, 2005, at 20:20:03
Wow, clearskies your t is so awesome, sound like she's really able to connect with you and bring you out. must feel pretty good. it's almost like she can read your thoughts before you ever get to them in therapy. sounds like she really cares and is on top of things.
you say you're a slow moving turtle, but you sound so busy, it makes me tired just reading what you're doing. why is it that housework never ends, i hate that.
your routine sounds really relaxing, at least by the time you get in bed. my pdoc says they're coming out with a time released ambien. maybe that will be better than what you have now, maybe it will keep you asleep.
it's good that the depression is at bay, sorry the anxiety is so persistent. you're smart to do the yoga. i'd guess it helps with muscle tension. sounds like you're very good to yourself, and you deserve it.
fw
Posted by annierose on December 14, 2005, at 21:30:52
In reply to A different kind of T for me., posted by ClearSkies on December 14, 2005, at 20:20:03
I like your new T too. She sounds super duper! You deserve this.
I wish the sleep went better for you. I can only imagine how frustrating it is night after night. Ambien still works for me on those restless nights. It's like your body has forgotten how to fall asleep, and stay there!!
Hopefully the new work with this T will help with the anxiety. The sleep will come.
I'm glad you are more productive and your day is full of activity. YOGA sounds great.
Time for bed myself. Wish me luck!
Posted by ClearSkies on December 15, 2005, at 10:37:00
In reply to Re: A different kind of T for me. » ClearSkies, posted by fairywings on December 14, 2005, at 21:28:42
>
>
> Wow, clearskies your t is so awesome, sound like she's really able to connect with you and bring you out. must feel pretty good. it's almost like she can read your thoughts before you ever get to them in therapy. sounds like she really cares and is on top of things.
>I've beening thinking that all this is happening right when it needed to - I had several dud T's in a row - Thank you, insurance referrals - and I kind of feel that this therapist is my reward. It helps that she is encouraging me to write a lot, because I really find it easier than getting the words past my lips.
> you say you're a slow moving turtle, but you sound so busy, it makes me tired just reading what you're doing. why is it that housework never ends, i hate that.
>I'm thinking of getting my cat shellacked for Christmas. In "attack" pose.
> your routine sounds really relaxing, at least by the time you get in bed. my pdoc says they're coming out with a time released ambien. maybe that will be better than what you have now, maybe it will keep you asleep.
>I reduced my Lamictal dose slightly because I was sweating buckets at 200mg. Funny enough I slept better last night. :-)
>sounds like you're very good to yourself, and you deserve it.
> fw
>We ALL deserve it.
CS
Posted by ClearSkies on December 15, 2005, at 10:42:21
In reply to Re: A different kind of T for me. » ClearSkies, posted by annierose on December 14, 2005, at 21:30:52
Hello Annierose!
How did you sleep? I wish I didn't have to take Ambien every night. The few times I've thought I was tired enough to get away without it, I only got about 2 hours of sleep. :-(
Posted by fairywings on December 15, 2005, at 12:00:12
In reply to Re: A different kind of T for me. » fairywings, posted by ClearSkies on December 15, 2005, at 10:37:00
> I've beening thinking that all this is happening right when it needed to - I had several dud T's in a row - Thank you, insurance referrals - and I kind of feel that this therapist is my reward. It helps that she is encouraging me to write a lot, because I really find it easier than getting the words past my lips.
I'm glad you found a good T. Is she on your ins. plan? How did you find her? I've found writing is the best thing for me too. I can't express my feelings well, but i can write them out, and that feels comfortable. My t is good about taking my stuff in writing too.
> I'm thinking of getting my cat shellacked for Christmas. In "attack" pose.
LMAO! You are too funny! How does kitty feel about this, have you told him/her?
> I reduced my Lamictal dose slightly because I was sweating buckets at 200mg. Funny enough I slept better last night. :-)
I hate drugs that make me sweat! Hate them! but if it's helping the anxiety, depression, and helping you sleep, what can you do?
; )
fw
Posted by Poet on December 15, 2005, at 12:48:13
In reply to A different kind of T for me., posted by ClearSkies on December 14, 2005, at 20:20:03
Hi Clearskies,
You are the most active slow moving turtle I've ever heard about. I think a rabbit would be more fitting. I've never said I'm going to shallack the cats, though that would cut down on the tumbleweeds of fur that drift through the house. LOL.
I still can't sleep without Ambien (or alcohol or both- no lectures, I know it's bad, bad, bad.) Ambien keeps me asleep, but takes over an hour to kick in so I have to keep taking it earlier and earlier. Pretty soon it'll be come home from work, pop an Ambien, clean the litter boxes, do laundry...
My husband and T think I should call Dr. Clueless for Xanax to get me through Christmas hell, I mean, Christmas holiday celebration with my family. Because they think it's a good idea, inner brat me says no. Dumb, I know.
Anyway, your newest T sounds like a keeper. I'm glad you finally found the right one.
Poet
Posted by Damos on December 15, 2005, at 16:15:58
In reply to A different kind of T for me., posted by ClearSkies on December 14, 2005, at 20:20:03
I think it's been said before, but WOW!!!!!! I'd just been thinking I hadn't seen you about much and now I know why. Girl if you're a slow moving turtle then I'm three yards slower than a statue.
CS, I am just so pleased and happy for you. Just so very, very pleased and happy. And you write so d*mn beautifully I wish I could get you oto write all the posts I can never find the words for for me :-) I can honestly say cleaning my teeth will never be the same again.
You're such a lovely person CS and have really earned all the good things that are happening for you.
(((((ClearSkies)))))
Posted by ClearSkies on December 15, 2005, at 17:34:14
In reply to Re: A different kind of T for me. » ClearSkies, posted by Poet on December 15, 2005, at 12:48:13
the cat doesn't suspect a thing!!
This is the end of the thread.
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