Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 595811

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

dilemma

Posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 13:32:21

I have a friend who is a pharmacist. Recently she vented to me about my pdoc. She didn't know he was my pdoc bec. I've never told her I go to a pdoc. She hates him, and talks about him bec. he combines meds., and she thinks that's wrong. I didn't tell her I go to him bec. I think so highly of him, hated that she talks behind his back, and of course it's none of her business. I hate that she thinks the worst of him, esp. bec. it's unfounded. My pdoc is awesome, he has a genuine concern for ppl. It's hard to hear someone cut him down, when I know their opinion isn't accurate, and when I would guess she'll say things about him whenever she gets the chance.

I also haven't told my pdoc what she's said to me. My husband said it would serve no purpose to tell him, but I don't know, should he know that a pharmacist is talking behind his back, esp. when it's my guess she'll badmouth him to patients too? Not too long ago, she was talking about him, and said whatever you do stay away from "him", but I'd already been going to him, and I think he's the best. Any opinions? Would you tell your pdoc, or do you think that's just opening up a big can of worms?

fw

 

Re: dilemma

Posted by one woman cine on January 6, 2006, at 13:39:32

In reply to dilemma, posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 13:32:21

I would tell him. For yourself. Because it sounds like you are carrying something around that doesn't belong to you.

It's not going to affect him, if he's a solid doc. Not everyone likes everyone else in various fields, it comes with the territory.

 

Re: dilemma

Posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 15:42:48

In reply to dilemma, posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 13:32:21

FW, do you go to the same pharmacy as this friend? I hate to even suggest this, but could she have been getting her nose in where it doesn't belong, and look at your information on the pc or something? It just seems so strange to me that she would keep bringing it up for no reason. Do you think she is trying to "help" you but doesn't want you to know how nosey she has been? I could be wrong, I hope I am. (((((FW))))))))

 

Re: dilemma

Posted by muffled on January 6, 2006, at 16:07:14

In reply to dilemma, posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 13:32:21

> I have a friend who is a pharmacist. Recently she vented to me about my pdoc. She didn't know he was my pdoc bec. I've never told her I go to a pdoc. She hates him, and talks about him bec. he combines meds., and she thinks that's wrong. I didn't tell her I go to him bec. I think so highly of him, hated that she talks behind his back, and of course it's none of her business. I hate that she thinks the worst of him, esp. bec. it's unfounded. My pdoc is awesome, he has a genuine concern for ppl. It's hard to hear someone cut him down, when I know their opinion isn't accurate, and when I would guess she'll say things about him whenever she gets the chance.
>
> I also haven't told my pdoc what she's said to me. My husband said it would serve no purpose to tell him, but I don't know, should he know that a pharmacist is talking behind his back, esp. when it's my guess she'll badmouth him to patients too? Not too long ago, she was talking about him, and said whatever you do stay away from "him", but I'd already been going to him, and I think he's the best. Any opinions? Would you tell your pdoc, or do you think that's just opening up a big can of worms?
> >
***I'm kinda with your husband on this one. It wouldn't serve much purpose to tell your T.
My inclination would be to tell this 'friend' that she is being VERY unethical herself in talking this way. It is not for her to judge another professionals choice in meds. She sure as hell shouldn't be gossiping about it. She sounds extreemly unprofessional.
Thats my opinion.
Muffled

 

Re: dilemma » fairywings

Posted by daisym on January 6, 2006, at 17:12:01

In reply to dilemma, posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 13:32:21

I had this experience with my OB/GYN. I love her and have both a personal and professional relationship with her. She is the head of Obstetrics at the main hospital up here so of course the nurses I work with talk about her. Some love her, some think she is awful. One told me that she is too direct and doesn't take the time to sit with her patients. I like this about her because she doesn't bullsh*t me -- ever.

What I've said to the nurses or even friends who don't like her, is that her style doesn't suit everyone so thank goodness there are a variety of people to choose from. I might say the same to your friend. You could say that you've heard exactly the opposite about your pdoc so it seems to be a matter of opinion. And I think most docs these days combine drugs, so I don't get that at all. If she tries to argue with you then I might say, I would assume he knows what he is doing as an MD which is why he gets to prescribe and pharmacists don't.

And I think I'd tell the pdoc if it is really bothering you but I don't think it is necessary. As long as he has patients like you who think he is doing a good job, he is likely to keep getting referrals. I think it is sweet that you care about him.

 

Re: dilemma » happyflower

Posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 20:24:02

In reply to Re: dilemma, posted by happyflower on January 6, 2006, at 15:42:48

Thanks hf. No, I wouldn't go to her pharmacy bec. of the privacy thing. She is a caring individual, but is way too conservative. When my dad was dying and in agonizing pain, she was against him being on the pain patch.
She has no idea I see him, it has come up when talking about his specialty, and she says things about other docs too, but not as harsh.

fw

 

Re: dilemma » daisym

Posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 20:29:43

In reply to Re: dilemma » fairywings, posted by daisym on January 6, 2006, at 17:12:01

thanks daisy, you made me feel much better. i did "suggest" to her that he probably had so much experience he knew what worked and what didn't. he's SO busy that it takes months to get in, he's booked solid all the time, and his patients love him, so i know he'll never want for business. i know he's incredibly dedicated and caring just from the way i've heard him talk when he didn't know i could hear - wasn't eavsdropping, just could hear him w/his asst. he's also incredibly kind to his staff, which to me says a lot about a doc. i do care a great deal about him, and would never want him hurt. i have been thinking about telling him, but i'm still sitting on it. maybe i should consider if i'd tell someone else who was in a similar situation, like my gp. hmmmm......

fw

 

Re: dilemma

Posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 20:32:04

In reply to Re: dilemma, posted by muffled on January 6, 2006, at 16:07:14

thanks muffy and owc,

muffy - i was offended by what she said, you're right, it was unprof.

owc, i'm thrashing it around. ; )

fw

 

Re: dilemma » fairywings

Posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 7, 2006, at 0:15:54

In reply to dilemma, posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 13:32:21

Hmmm. I must admit that part of me would want to tell friend that he's my pdoc and let friend die from the embarassment of shooting her mouth off so much. Also, it seems like she must live in a little box to be shocked by pdocs rx'ing multiple meds. It is very, very common now.

Okay, my anger is simmering down now...could you just say to her that you don't feel comfortable hearing abt her work? Or just change the subject quickly?

I can sympathize with your situation b/c I know many of the T's in the community in a professional capacity, but I also see a T and a pdoc for myself. I also have many friends who see T's. So everyone has lots of opinions on everyone else and you hear things that you sorta wish that you hadn't, you know? It also was very hard for me to get comfortable talking to my own T abt professionals that I dealt w/ in my career that I disliked or had done something bad to me or others, etc. But, you know what? For the most part it was okay. Actually, it turned out that most of the professionals that I have disliked she dislikes too.

I mention this in order to say that I think pdoc will be okay either way. Do what makes you feel comfortable. Good luck!

Best,
EE

 

Re: dilemma

Posted by Maynerd on January 7, 2006, at 0:30:14

In reply to dilemma, posted by fairywings on January 6, 2006, at 13:32:21

I wouldn't tell your doc what was said because it probably wouldn't do any good, but has the potential of having negative consequences if your doc was hurt and said something to the wrong person. Probably wouldn't happen, but psychiatrists are still people with emotions that get hurt just like us.
While I personally think maybe your friend was taking her beliefs about prescibing/taking multiple drugs farther than needed, I recognize that her reasoning does have a real basis. My friend recently went a doctor who prescribed two different drugs for her to fix some medical problems. The problem was that each drug was working against the other, causing her to develop another problem as a result. She went to another doc who was able to help her get back on the path to good health; when he prescibed his drugs he sat down with her and explained what they were for, what the side effects might be, and all that stuff. I don't know how pych meds interact with each other, mine and my friends don't seem to work against each other though.

 

Re: dilemma

Posted by fairywings on January 7, 2006, at 17:45:48

In reply to Re: dilemma » fairywings, posted by Emily Elizabeth on January 7, 2006, at 0:15:54

thanks ee and maynerd i'm still tossing it around. she was out of line, but i'm actually glad she told me bec. now i know to keep my mouth shut and never tell her anything!

fw


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