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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by dia on March 5, 2006, at 1:13:30
For those of you who have had a transference reaction towards your T and were able to speak to them about it, how did they react? Are they supposed to explain the term transference to you? Am in trouble if my T just finds my feelings for him as flattering?
-Dia-
Posted by annierose on March 5, 2006, at 7:30:50
In reply to does your T explain transference?, posted by dia on March 5, 2006, at 1:13:30
My feelings towards my T is an on-going conversation in therapy. It's natural to talk about with her. But the hurt feelings are the hardest to talk about.
She's accepting of them. She wants to learn about all those feelings, encourages me to share them with her. I think how the T handles those emotions depends upon the personality of the T and more importantly, the psychological orientation of the therapist.
As far as explanations --- it depends what we are talking about. Sometimes she'll show me how that ties into my past, that is feels familiar. Sometimes it is about how her. It certainly is confusing and wonderful all at the same time.
If I'm reading your post correctly, did you let your T know how you feel and felt he dismissed the feelings as a crush? What type of therapist is he?
If it is still bothering you, I would try to bring it up again. Let him know that you really would like to get a handle on these emotions.
Good luck, I know it's hard to do. We all struggle to some degree with these feelings. My T tells me that this is the real work of therapy.
Annie
Posted by rubenstein on March 5, 2006, at 11:12:36
In reply to does your T explain transference?, posted by dia on March 5, 2006, at 1:13:30
I think I talk more about transference than he does. He thinks the realtionship is more real than just a simple case of transeference. yes it is there, on the "dad" kind of level. But, as he always says, I am aware of that and a good part of our relationship is quite real and not just transference. I can't believe I am writing this, for so long I was afraid of having transference, that my T would get wiereded out or something, since we talked about it my anxiety level has gone down.
It is a tough thing though
best of luck
rachelFor those of you who have had a transference reaction towards your T and were able to speak to them about it, how did they react? Are they supposed to explain the term transference to you? Am in trouble if my T just finds my feelings for him as flattering?
> -Dia-
Posted by pegasus on March 5, 2006, at 11:16:51
In reply to does your T explain transference?, posted by dia on March 5, 2006, at 1:13:30
I've never had a T explain transference to me, although I did discuss it with one after she knew that I already understood what it was.
I think that if you bring up your feelings for a T, and they don't explain transference to you, it doesn't necessarily mean they're a bad T. They may be being careful of your feelings. Sometimes it's tough to hear one's feelings explained "away" as tranference. I think the key is that they should understand the concept themselves, at least, and respond in a way that shows they respect and accept your feelings.
What would happen if you brought up transference yourself? Maybe you'd have a very helpful conversation about it.
Some schools of therapy don't emphasize transference (like CBT), and it's possible that some Ts aren't trained to understand it.
peg
Posted by milly on March 5, 2006, at 12:31:45
In reply to does your T explain transference?, posted by dia on March 5, 2006, at 1:13:30
He never explained it and at the time I had no idea what was happening to me, I thought I was becoming completly amoral in the thoughts I was having.
That was how I found this site by having to research it all myself, read "In session the bond between women and their therapist" and got my head around it abit more
I think it might have helped if I had known in advance that this might happen because when we eventually talked about it I was so sure that he would march me from the room in shock and horror.
(He didn't of course!)Now alot of my feelings for him I think are 'real' but I'm not sure
milly
Posted by TherapyGirl on March 5, 2006, at 15:52:41
In reply to does your T explain transference?, posted by dia on March 5, 2006, at 1:13:30
We have discussed my feelings for and attachment to my T. I don't think either one of us has ever called it transference. It's really hard for me to discuss it -- she seems completely comfortable with it. And when I can't say what I need to about it, she fills in the blanks for me in an amazingly accurate way.
I think one of the reasons she doesn't mind it is because it's been so hard for me to have this connection to ANYONE EVER. Overall, it's been a good experience for me, although I have certainly had my moments of not enjoying it. :-)
This is the end of the thread.
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