![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on November 9, 2006, at 16:10:37
How do I stop missing my therapist so so much between sessions? I'm so scared that he might cancel tomorrow, which may or may not be true, as there could be lots of reasons he hasn't answered my email, including computer problems he was having last week or taking a few days off, or something. But I'm so scared he's sick and will cancel. And I just always miss him so much between sessions. He says I'm allowed to and that it's perfectly alright, but it feels so wrong because of how I was raised. And I'm just scared. Because if he cancels tomorrow I know how sad I'll be. Is being this close worth it?
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on November 9, 2006, at 17:43:29
In reply to how do I stop missing my T?, posted by sunnydays on November 9, 2006, at 16:10:37
Well, my latest thing is voicemail. My T leaves voicemail on my machine and I save it and listen to it so I know she's still out there and exists and cares. She leaves great voicemail messages.
Last time I asked for her to lv. a message bout emotions, and she did, and its great.
It was hard to ask, but I glad I did.
Muffled
Posted by Dinah on November 9, 2006, at 20:41:29
In reply to how do I stop missing my T?, posted by sunnydays on November 9, 2006, at 16:10:37
Missing your therapist is probably a sign that you've got a good connection. Eventually it might lessen on its own for various reasons, but I suspect the more you try not to miss him, the stronger the feelings will be. That's usually the way things work. :(
Posted by Daisym on November 10, 2006, at 0:56:17
In reply to Re: how do I stop missing my T? » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2006, at 20:41:29
I have found that these things go in cycles - sometimes I miss him so much it hurts. It usually has to do with how strong our connection is and what we are working on.
Other times I know he is out there and it will be fine. I can't sustain this OK feeling, but slowly the fear of him not being there has lessened, a little.
Last week I was in the waiting room at my regular time. There is always the same other person in there too. She was there. But there were 3 or 4 other people in there too, which never happens. I got freaked out, "I'm here at the wrong time, or it is the wrong day...or he isn't here, there is some type of group going on." I think we all worry that they won't show up for our sessions. But how many times has he ever not shown up?
He'll be there.
Posted by Declan on November 11, 2006, at 12:23:25
In reply to how do I stop missing my T?, posted by sunnydays on November 9, 2006, at 16:10:37
Missing your therapist is a very positive sign.
I don't suppose that makes it any less painful, but if you can accept it as it is, it may be easier to bear.
Posted by sunnydays on November 11, 2006, at 13:29:51
In reply to Re: how do I stop missing my T? » sunnydays, posted by muffled on November 9, 2006, at 17:43:29
Yeah, I wish I could have him leave me a message. Maybe later in the week. Thanks muffly, you're sweet.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on November 11, 2006, at 13:31:12
In reply to Re: how do I stop missing my T? » sunnydays, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2006, at 20:41:29
Yeah, I think you're right. I'm not even sure now it's the missing him that's the problem after talking to him. He seems to think it's maybe partly that and partly a whole lot of grief that's working it out through transference (although he didn't say the word transference, that's what he was talking about).
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on November 11, 2006, at 13:32:40
In reply to Re: how do I stop missing my T?, posted by Daisym on November 10, 2006, at 0:56:17
Thanks, Daisy, he was there. He said he thinks that's part of what I'm so afraid of, is that he won't be there anymore. And it really really is. He said some nice things about how we weren't really ending because we were still connected and that the connection we had really was special, which was nice.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on November 11, 2006, at 13:33:21
In reply to Re: how do I stop missing my T?, posted by Declan on November 11, 2006, at 12:23:25
Thanks Declan. I know, he said it was a good thing and showed the therapy was working. I just feel so much grief it's hard.
sunnydays
Posted by Declan on November 14, 2006, at 19:33:45
In reply to Re: how do I stop missing my T? » Declan, posted by sunnydays on November 11, 2006, at 13:33:21
Yes, I can remember that sort of emotion. I was seeing my 5 hours a week T for a few years when she went away for 14 months. I was bereft.
We need something to cling onto sometimes, like those poor rhesus monkeys who had to make do with either the wire mothers with food or the cloth ones without.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.