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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 21:07:41
I feel like a broken record since this is all I ever say, but I miss my T a lot. I email him, but he hasn't checked his email in almost three weeks, so I have had NO contact with him other than the few times I listened to his voicemail message. This is the longest I have gone without having any kind of contact with him probably since the beginning of therapy. Maybe that's a bad thing to say - it makes me think I must talk to him too much - but I just miss him so so much.
I just want to know he's alive. I'm so scared he's sick or hurt or dead and that's why he's not checking his email. But I know realistically he's just on vacation. It's just he said he'd be gone for two weeks, and it's been almost three, but I think he just messed up the number since he sometimes messes up things like that when he tells me. He forgets what week he's in on the calendar. Or maybe he is sick, but he's probably not dead, right?
I just miss him so much. I just want to hear something from him. Really, I want to have therapy. I just need him.
sunnydays
Posted by youngaddict on January 3, 2007, at 21:26:42
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 21:07:41
hey sunnydays,
thats really horrible for you, i know how you feel. i have gone only one day without talking to my T and i am freaking out thinking about what as *ss i made of myself last time (yesterday) and what i am going to say tomorrow. I have this sick twisted need to talk to her but then i freeze up when shes there.
anyway did you T give you a substitute T while he was away? thats really hard, i haven't experienced that yet but i am sure it will happen, they are normal people who vacation. ugh.
did you try leaving him a voicemail saying you wanted to schedule an appointment? does he have an emergency number you can call him on? does he have a secretary? i am sure hes not dead, maybe he had his vacation and hes trying to catch up on all his stuff?
i hope you feel better soon.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on January 3, 2007, at 22:28:54
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 21:07:41
ugh (((sunnydays))) I feel for ya! I can relate to the missing and the worry, but also the horrible fear that something terrible has happened. I know it's not easy, but I'm sure he's fine. Like you said, maybe he just mixed up the amount of days he'd be away or something (not that that helps you any!). Maybe he didn't have access to a computer while he was away?
I'm sorry I don't have any answers, but I do understand your pain and worry. When will you be seeing him?
lgl
Posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 22:46:26
In reply to Re: i miss my T, posted by youngaddict on January 3, 2007, at 21:26:42
> hey sunnydays,
>
> thats really horrible for you, i know how you feel. i have gone only one day without talking to my T and i am freaking out thinking about what as *ss i made of myself last time (yesterday) and what i am going to say tomorrow. I have this sick twisted need to talk to her but then i freeze up when shes there.**** Oh, I understand that feeling. I had it so much in the beginning of therapy. It's not sick and twisted. It's just hard to trust enough to talk when you're there, even if you want to.
>
> anyway did you T give you a substitute T while he was away? thats really hard, i haven't experienced that yet but i am sure it will happen, they are normal people who vacation. ugh.**** I know, how dare they be normal people!! No substitute T because I'm away too, because I'm a college student and it's break.
>
> did you try leaving him a voicemail saying you wanted to schedule an appointment? does he have an emergency number you can call him on? does he have a secretary? i am sure hes not dead, maybe he had his vacation and hes trying to catch up on all his stuff?*** I did just call him, thanks to the wonderful babblers in chat, so hopefully he'll call back tomorrow. I have an appointment scheduled for January 17th. No emergency number I know, except to call his office and have him paged, but it's not that kind of emergency, it's just missing him. Getting him paged is only for if I was really suicidal or having a worse flashback than I've ever had or something, I think. I'm sure he's not dead, it's just an irrational thought I have. And I have so many, that's why I hate CBT!! The work's too hard!! Glad we don't do it often!!
>
> i hope you feel better soon.Thanks so much, y.a.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 22:48:14
In reply to Re: i miss my T » sunnydays, posted by LittleGirlLost on January 3, 2007, at 22:28:54
Thanks lgl. No, he never checks his email unless he's in his office, and he's probably still at home. I just thought he'd come in once during his vacation like he said he would, but I think he forgot. Which means he forgot me. Which makes me sad.
I did call him, thanks to the great people in chat. Hopefully he'll call back tomorrow.
sunnydays
Posted by Karolina on January 3, 2007, at 23:03:59
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 21:07:41
hey sunnydays,
Wow I can totally relate to this feeling. I HATE when my T goes on vacations...I just get this jealous feeling almost, it's hard to explain. I always think of the worst too, just wondering if he is ok and safe.
And my T sounds like your T in the way that they can be forgetful. If it makes you feel any better, one time my T left the room to go get a card to write the date of my next appointment on there and then didn't come back! I freaked out and seriously sat there for about 25 minutes. Finally the secretary came in and said he'd left! I was like what?! But it turned out that he forgot to pick up his kid from the airport and they had called while he was back there getting a card for me, and he completely forgot I was still there!!. It was terrible! He called the next day and apologized but it still distressed me for awhile.
I think there's a good side and bad side to realizing T's are human too. The bad side being: Yes, they get to go on fun vacations away from everything with their family (I think that's where I start to feel jealous, I occasionally see him as a father-figure) but then the good side being: they're not perfect, they make mistakes and forget things just like we all do sometimes.
Do you think telling him about how you've felt while he's been gone would be helpful? Hang in there, the weeks will fly by faster than you know it and then you will be able to see him again.
-Karolina-
Posted by muffled on January 3, 2007, at 23:41:18
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 21:07:41
Wow, you think he might call back tomorrow SD???
My T only checks her messages sporadically when she on hols. So don't be too upset if he don't call right away ok?
Lets us know when he does though!
The other thing, when I have talked to T in this situ, there is releif, but then such an intense NEED for awhile. But I think its well worth it to know T is OK and still exists and is mebbe thinking of me some.I carry the voice with me and the warm feeling. Ahhhh.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2007, at 23:54:07
In reply to i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 21:07:41
I know how hard it is to be where you're at. I really do understand. One thing that my T does, and I have no idea if she does it for the very reason to let her patients know she's "back" is she changes her voice mail message from the one where she's out of the office...and when she has returned she changes it back to her normal everyday message. That way I know she's at least back and must be safe and I don't have to call and bug her to see if she's back. Ive never even told her I do this.
It's been 2 weeks since I've seen my T. I called her last week with the hope she'd get my voice mail and call me back. I asked her if she had a different appointment time for me this week. She called and told me she had one for today at noon. I called her back and left her a message and said that would be perfect and I'd see her then. I show up today just as she comes out, there's 2 of us sitting there. The other lady stayed because it's her "regular" hour. I don't know how she screwed it up but she felt terrible. I needed to see her today!!! I got ready, drove 30 min. only to turn around and go back home. She called and felt so bad, but I told her we all make mistakes and I forgave her. I go tomorrow. I almost told her , great forget it, I'm too full of anxiety to see you right now anyway. It's true, my life is tipping over at the moment. In every way, my marriage is falling apart, finances are a total disaster, I'm recovering from bilateral knee replacements, not working and suffering from depression/anxiety on top of everything else. I should lose at least one of my cars any day if not both of them. My husband is a piece of work. I'm going insane with anxiety. I went to my Dr. today and got some anxiety meds. I hate taking them, but I'm grateful I have them at a time like this.
I didn't mean to take away from your pain. I hope you get a call from him. I'm sure he will understand how you are worried about him. I have abandonment issues so this is touchy with me too. I bet he's fine. Just remember how many times you've said goodbye to him and then turned around and saw him again. He was there all along, he just wasn't visible to you. He will return. I hope for the best for you and that you can find some comfort in this until you see or hear from him. You don't sound like a broken record, you sound like someone that is hurting and missing your T. That's ok, just hard to feel.
Let me know if you hear something from him ok? I'll be thinking about you.
LadyBug
Posted by happykat on January 4, 2007, at 10:06:36
In reply to Re: i miss my T, posted by sunnydays on January 3, 2007, at 22:48:14
((((sunnydays)))
Hope you hear back from him soon! :)
Regards,
happykat
Posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 14:16:18
In reply to Re: i miss my T » sunnydays, posted by happykat on January 4, 2007, at 10:06:36
He called. And he's fine. I didn't tell him what I've been afraid of, but we got to talk (for 17 minutes and 4 seconds according to my cell phone) and it was just so nice to hear his voice and know he's still there. He just gave me a little more strength to continue being with my family. He had to go into his office because I guess I forgot to leave my number on the message, although I could swear I did - but it was at the beginning maybe he didn't hear it, and he hadn't been planning to come in, so I feel bad about that. I hope he's not mad. He didn't sound mad, but I hope he's not. It was just so nice hearing his voice.
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 14:46:47
In reply to he called, posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 14:16:18
And he went to office for YOU!!!!
Wow, thats SO cool!
Yup, I reckon he likes ya all right, specially phoning back so SOON!
WOW!
Good on ya SD!!!!
Muffled
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 15:19:34
In reply to he called, posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 14:16:18
Well, you got me beat SD.
I called my T's cell, fortunately the machine answered, but then I just CHOKED.
I said 'this is muffled', then nothing, then 'forget it'.
I am in a weird state.
And my T most likely will not call back.
She don't usu unless I got the guts to specifically say so.
I guess I not desprate enough.
Its hard to go back after so long.
Its all weird again after this long.
So good for you! Ha! Sunnydays got what it takes!
Muffled
Posted by Poet on January 4, 2007, at 15:51:05
In reply to he called, posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 14:16:18
Hi Sunnydays,
Fantastic. I wouldn't feel bad about him going to the office to get your phone number, to me that shows that he really does care about you.
Too bad you couldn't have recorded the conversation to listen to again. Though I'm sure it'll stay in you mind. Plus now he's thinking of you, too. This is great.
Poet
Posted by happykat on January 4, 2007, at 16:27:38
In reply to he called, posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 14:16:18
sunnydays,
Thats awesome! And a nice long chat too! :)
It actually made me smile. I've been following your posts over the holidays. I'm happy that he called you back!Regards,
happykat :)
Posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 18:10:15
In reply to YAYYYY! SD! » sunnydays, posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 14:46:47
> And he went to office for YOU!!!!
> Wow, thats SO cool!*** Yeah, but I feel really bad about it. But I don't think he'd want me to be beating myself up about it. It's probably not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
> Yup, I reckon he likes ya all right, specially phoning back so SOON!
> WOW!
> Good on ya SD!!!!
> Muffled**** Thanks muffled. Yeah, he checks his messages one or two times a day when he's on vacation most of the time and then he always gets right back to me. Thanks muffled. I'm trying to hold onto the feeling, but it's slipping.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 18:12:38
In reply to Re: he called » sunnydays, posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 15:19:34
> Well, you got me beat SD.
> I called my T's cell, fortunately the machine answered, but then I just CHOKED.
> I said 'this is muffled', then nothing, then 'forget it'.
> I am in a weird state.**** It's ok. You can always call back again if you think you need to. It's so so hard to talk to an answering machine for me. It's so much pressure to talk right then and in the time it gives you.
> And my T most likely will not call back.
> She don't usu unless I got the guts to specifically say so.
> I guess I not desprate enough.**** Yeah, my T makes me ask him to call too. I think you don't have to be desperate to want something muffled. It's ok to call back and ask her to call, if you want to.
> Its hard to go back after so long.
> Its all weird again after this long.
> So good for you! Ha! Sunnydays got what it takes!
> Muffled*** Thanks muffled. Good for you for at least saying something!
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 18:15:30
In reply to Re: he called » sunnydays, posted by Poet on January 4, 2007, at 15:51:05
> Hi Sunnydays,
>
> Fantastic. I wouldn't feel bad about him going to the office to get your phone number, to me that shows that he really does care about you.**** Thanks for that. I'm really really worried about it, unfortunately. I just latch onto these little things and worry myself sick over them. But I'm sure he wouldn't want me to beat myself up over it.
>
> Too bad you couldn't have recorded the conversation to listen to again. Though I'm sure it'll stay in you mind. Plus now he's thinking of you, too. This is great.
>
> Poet**** I know, I wish I could have recorded it. It's fading already. I remember little parts, but I'm having trouble remembering all of it. It's hard to remember things when it's just the phone and I can't see body language or facial expression or anything. I'm so happy he's alright. And I'm so glad he's thinking of me.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 18:18:56
In reply to Re: i miss my T » sunnydays, posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2007, at 23:54:07
> I know how hard it is to be where you're at. I really do understand. One thing that my T does, and I have no idea if she does it for the very reason to let her patients know she's "back" is she changes her voice mail message from the one where she's out of the office...and when she has returned she changes it back to her normal everyday message. That way I know she's at least back and must be safe and I don't have to call and bug her to see if she's back. Ive never even told her I do this.
**** I wish my T did that, if only just because I have his normal message memorized by now. I'd like a change every once in a while.
> It's been 2 weeks since I've seen my T. I called her last week with the hope she'd get my voice mail and call me back. I asked her if she had a different appointment time for me this week. She called and told me she had one for today at noon. I called her back and left her a message and said that would be perfect and I'd see her then. I show up today just as she comes out, there's 2 of us sitting there. The other lady stayed because it's her "regular" hour. I don't know how she screwed it up but she felt terrible. I needed to see her today!!! I got ready, drove 30 min. only to turn around and go back home. She called and felt so bad, but I told her we all make mistakes and I forgave her. I go tomorrow. I almost told her , great forget it, I'm too full of anxiety to see you right now anyway. It's true, my life is tipping over at the moment. In every way, my marriage is falling apart, finances are a total disaster, I'm recovering from bilateral knee replacements, not working and suffering from depression/anxiety on top of everything else. I should lose at least one of my cars any day if not both of them. My husband is a piece of work. I'm going insane with anxiety. I went to my Dr. today and got some anxiety meds. I hate taking them, but I'm grateful I have them at a time like this.**** Oh my gosh!!!! It's my absolutely worst therapy nightmare!!! You are handling it so so well. It's good you can see her tomorrow though, so it's kind of soon. I'm so sorry you're having so many problems right now.
> I didn't mean to take away from your pain. I hope you get a call from him. I'm sure he will understand how you are worried about him. I have abandonment issues so this is touchy with me too. I bet he's fine.
*** Yeah, I didn't tell him that's what I was worried about, but just hearing his voice was soooo soothing.
Just remember how many times you've said goodbye to him and then turned around and saw him again. He was there all along, he just wasn't visible to you. He will return. I hope for the best for you and that you can find some comfort in this until you see or hear from him.
**** Thanks. I did hear from him.
You don't sound like a broken record, you sound like someone that is hurting and missing your T. That's ok, just hard to feel.
> Let me know if you hear something from him ok? I'll be thinking about you.
> LadyBug**** Thanks Ladybug. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow. Sounds like you have lots to talk about.
sunnydays
Posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 18:19:37
In reply to Re: he called » sunnydays, posted by happykat on January 4, 2007, at 16:27:38
> sunnydays,
>
> Thats awesome! And a nice long chat too! :)
> It actually made me smile. I've been following your posts over the holidays. I'm happy that he called you back!
>
> Regards,
> happykat :)Thanks happykat. It makes me feel so good and so heard that you've been following my posts.
sunnydays
Posted by Karolina on January 5, 2007, at 15:09:26
In reply to he called, posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 14:16:18
hey sunny days,
sorry I am a little late posting but that's really great he called you! It really sounds like he cares a lot about you. = )
-Karolina-
Posted by sunnydays on January 5, 2007, at 16:08:23
In reply to Re: he called, posted by Karolina on January 5, 2007, at 15:09:26
Thanks Karolina. Yeah, I know he does care. At the moment I am freaking out and really anxious, though, because I have some travel plans coming up that I need to hear from this person about and I hate uncertainty and it's been three days and I've left two messages and she isn't calling me back. I'll have to call her house tomorrow if she doesn't call my cell phone soon. Uggh.
sunnydays
Posted by Karolina on January 7, 2007, at 22:28:25
In reply to Re: he called » Karolina, posted by sunnydays on January 5, 2007, at 16:08:23
Oh I hate situations like that, I hope by now you've heard from her. sorry I am a little late responding =). I have a friend who's in town and I haven't seen her since last summer and we were supposed to have plans during this break between semesters. I've tried to contact her and no such luck. It makes me wonder if she's mad at me or something ?? oh well. Anyway, I hope your plans get worked out and let us know how your next appointment goes with your T.
-Karolina-
Posted by sunnydays on January 13, 2007, at 20:33:57
In reply to Re: he called, posted by Karolina on January 7, 2007, at 22:28:25
Thanks Karolina. Everything worked out great. My next appointment with my T is soon!
sunnydays
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