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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 15:39:17
I all wound up somehow.
Lotsa little things.
But then I thinking, oh sh*t, I got go to T this Tues. and when we left off, it was cuz that ikid had said what wasn't s'posed to be said. And then there was confusion bout mebbe the T thinks we bad or something. That it gonna change the way she is cuz we gross really.
And I not seen her since and we all freaking out cuz its a big hairy deal cuz what if she different? Then everything is changed. And mebbe she will never think the same of this body. And the kid wants to see her, and protection wants to scare her off, and i just scared, and I don't want to make an idiot of myself cuz sometimes I get into the wrong mode and can't stop it.
Mebbe take seoquel again, but then toughie is there lots on seoquel. Toughie can be SUCH an *ss.
I dunno, I tried to phone T but choked.
I wanted to say I didn't want to go to dinky gross office, but go somewhere else or walk or something.
I don't want to be trapped in dinky office when I so stressed.
But I scared to talk to her on phone. I not so good on the phone.
In person, when she is there, I usu am calmer, sort of.
I dunno what I trying to say.
I just lost.
I think we go trailering for the weekend.
This will be good.
Stupid T business stuff sucks.
Sorry.
Muffled
Posted by Poet on January 4, 2007, at 16:01:24
In reply to Mebbe this is it?, posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 15:39:17
Hi Muffled,
This is why I like that I can email my T, then I don't have to worry about sounding like an idiot on the phone. Not that I am not capable of sounding like an idiot in an email, but the chance is less. She usually answers my emails with *we'll talk about this on _____.* So it's like a phone call, only she doesn't talk back. Which makes it even better.
Have you ever asked your T if you can email her? It's not like you'd be doing it everyday, just when you really need to tell her something you are afraid to tell her on the phone or in person. Just a thought.
I see my T tomorrow. I'm trying to come up with why I like to be alone, she says *because I like to* is not a real reason. I need to tell her what it does for me emotionally. How about *when I'm alone I'm not annoyed by anyone, but myself?* I kind of like that, I may go with it.
I need to tell her my recurring dream is back. I hate that dream. Sigh.
Anyway, enough about my T woes.
Happy trailering if you go.
Poet
Posted by canadagirl on January 4, 2007, at 17:08:09
In reply to Mebbe this is it?, posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 15:39:17
you are definitely not bad or gross or any of those things you write about in your post. I think you're a pretty smart cookie, as well as being able to understand your "modes" and when you are in them. That's half the battle. Give those "ikids" a voice, for sure, it's not easy but sometimes we can get rigidly self critical and locked in that and the other modes can help us get out of that, joining forces you could say with the therapist. I think it would be great to do therapy outdoors, I hate dinky offices too and mine had one of the dinkiest.Have fun in the trailer.
Posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 18:28:05
In reply to Mebbe this is it?, posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 15:39:17
> I all wound up somehow.
> Lotsa little things.
> But then I thinking, oh sh*t, I got go to T this Tues. and when we left off, it was cuz that ikid had said what wasn't s'posed to be said. And then there was confusion bout mebbe the T thinks we bad or something. That it gonna change the way she is cuz we gross really.*** You're not gross muffled, any of you. I'm sure of it. ikid can say whatever she wants, it's ok, you and your T are both strong enough to handle it. I don't think your T thinks you're bad at all. I certainly don't think that. And didn't her message say she still thinks about you the same. Good luck.
> And I not seen her since and we all freaking out cuz its a big hairy deal cuz what if she different? Then everything is changed. And mebbe she will never think the same of this body. And the kid wants to see her, and protection wants to scare her off, and i just scared, and I don't want to make an idiot of myself cuz sometimes I get into the wrong mode and can't stop it.
**** It's ok muffled. Your T can handle however you are in therapy. But try to let the kid be as happy seeing her as she can be. I'm sure your T is still the same and still thinks the same as you. Now you sound like ME last night in chat. And that can't be allowed, can it? :) Much better that you relax and let all the parts of muffled try to be as calm and happy as they can, whatever that means for them.
> Mebbe take seoquel again, but then toughie is there lots on seoquel. Toughie can be SUCH an *ss.
**** If seroquel helps, take it, but if it scares you, I would avoid it.
> I dunno, I tried to phone T but choked.
> I wanted to say I didn't want to go to dinky gross office, but go somewhere else or walk or something.
> I don't want to be trapped in dinky office when I so stressed.**** Can you call her back and ask that? It's a very reasonable request. And the worst she'll say is she can't do it. And that would be alright. It won't make her think any different of you.
> But I scared to talk to her on phone. I not so good on the phone.
> In person, when she is there, I usu am calmer, sort of.**** yeah, it's hard for me to talk on the phone too. I get so so nervous when I can't see facial expressions or body language. But can you call her back real quick, just surprise yourself and dial real fast, and ask her?
> I dunno what I trying to say.
> I just lost.
> I think we go trailering for the weekend.
> This will be good.
> Stupid T business stuff sucks.
> Sorry.
> Muffled
>
>**** it's ok muffled. Don't apologize. You're doing great. It's almost time for you to see her, and then you'll know for sure that everything is alright.
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 19:51:55
In reply to Re: Mebbe this is it? » muffled, posted by Poet on January 4, 2007, at 16:01:24
Hey Poet, good luck with your T appt.
My T is technologicaaly backwards, she don't have e-mail that she uses that I know of. I did ask a long time ago. I sure wish she did.
I like being alone sometimes just cuz its less complicated. People can be so confusing and hurtful....
I'm tired, yaeh, it will be fun to trailer.
Hope it don't get too windy. Don't want a tree falling o n us.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 19:53:45
In reply to Re: Mebbe this is it? » muffled, posted by canadagirl on January 4, 2007, at 17:08:09
Thanks Canada girl.
So HOW dinky was your T's office?
Tell me so's I can feel better bout mine! LOL.
Thanks, Take care,
Muffled
Posted by muffled on January 4, 2007, at 20:10:47
In reply to Re: Mebbe this is it?, posted by sunnydays on January 4, 2007, at 18:28:05
> ikid can say whatever she wants, it's ok, you and your T are both strong enough to handle it. I don't think your T thinks you're bad at all. I certainly don't think that. And didn't her message say she still thinks about you the same.
**yeah. Yeah mebbe she can. I DID call T, didn't say much. Just said I wanted to see if she still alive or something! Gack! Obvo she alive if she talking to me, DUUUH.
>
> It's ok muffled. Your T can handle however you are in therapy. But try to let the kid be as happy seeing her as she can be.**You RIGHT, I SHOULD let her be happy, why not?? and T can handle stuff, she TOUGH.
>Now you sound like ME last night in chat. And that can't be allowed, can it? :)
**ROFL!!!!!!Takes one to know one!!!:)
> > Mebbe take seoquel again, but then toughie is there lots on seoquel. Toughie can be SUCH an *ss.
> Can you call her back and ask that? It's a very reasonable request.**I forgot to ask when I phoned her. Oooops. I'll try it when I get there.
>just surprise yourself and dial real fast, and ask her?
**She DID call back and left messgae, and then I did just what you said and phoned back.
>it's ok muffled. Don't apologize. You're doing great. It's almost time for you to see her, and then you'll know for sure that everything is alright.
**Hope its OK. Thanks so much SD .
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 6, 2007, at 19:03:37
In reply to Re: Mebbe this is it? » muffled, posted by Poet on January 4, 2007, at 16:01:24
hi muffled.
i miss you.
even when you have angry and kid and other excitement.hope you have fun trailering
lurps
Posted by muffled on January 7, 2007, at 22:11:46
In reply to Re: Mebbe this is it? » Poet, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 6, 2007, at 19:03:37
This is the end of the thread.
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