Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bent on January 31, 2007, at 20:08:33
I really messed up. Maybe I need to stop therapy with my T and begin with a new one to help me get away from therapists altogether.
My therapist doesnt talk much about herself, her life, stuff like that. But i have been seeing her for 4+ years and in the time i have peiced together certain things.
I'm such a loser because through "myspace" I found my T's daughter's profile. It wasnt realy hard considering my cousin and my T's daughter went to high school together. I did tell her that when I found out. She didnt respond much and I told her I was nervous that my knowing such a detail (even tho coincidentally)about her might make her uncomfortable. She said years ago somethihg like that would have bothered her but not now. I didnt know how to take that but we both seemed to get over it quickly.Anyway...the reason I am freaking out now...I dont know why I had her daughter's name on my instant messenger. Why would I have done that??? Its been on there forever. So tonight my ferret walks across my laptop and sends her a message. Just some jumbled letters. But I saw that she wrote back, 'who is this?'
Maybe she just closed it and thought nothing of it. I usually just close weird IMs from people I dont know. But what if she looked at my profile that had a link to my myspace page?? Where it says the town I live in and that I am in therapy. Would she have reason to ask her mom about it? I dont know what its like to be the child of a therapist but I am thinking that they know clients get attached, etc.I cant believe myself. I am so ashamed. I dont want to see my T. I cant explain this. She will hate me. I will lose her. This is such a violation of her life. I cant believe I ever looked up her daughter or put her on my IM. I suck. I know its probably slim that my T would find this out from her daughter but I am sure its possible too. I dont know what I have done. I cant believe myself. I am such a freak.
Posted by Poet on January 31, 2007, at 20:28:48
In reply to I f'd up majorly, dont know what to do., posted by bent on January 31, 2007, at 20:08:33
Hi Bent,
Ever seen the film "The Blues Brothers" when they run in terror from the Dean's office after shooting the horse? *Oh, s***.
I know your starting to panic, I know I would be, but what you have going for you is that your T knows you found her daughter's myspace page and said *that years ago something like that would have bothered her, but now know.* I would hope that accidentally IMing her daughter might bother her, but not to the extent that she'd terminate you. You didn't send her daughter a message, it was gibberish. An actual message would show you inte3nded to send it, nonsense message shows accident. I think if your T brings it up you need to say it was an accident and that you need to explore why you put her IM address in your address book when you never intended to send a message.
I hope her daughter just deleted the message and forgets about the whole thing.
((((Bent))))
Poet
Posted by youngaddict on January 31, 2007, at 20:40:59
In reply to I f'd up majorly, dont know what to do., posted by bent on January 31, 2007, at 20:08:33
hi hon. calm down sweetie.. its not a big thing. i know you are freaking out but i can almost guarnatee that she probably closed it and forgot about it. i know i would. and even if she looked at your profile you can always do this.. go change some information, make your myspace private.. etc..
dont' sweat it.
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 31, 2007, at 22:13:29
In reply to Re: I f'd up majorly, dont know what to do., posted by youngaddict on January 31, 2007, at 20:40:59
bent,
I'm sorry that you're really upset.I truly truly mean no disrespect, BUT- when I read the circumstances under which the message was sent, I felt a small pernicious grin spreading across my face...
(((((ferret))))))
That is surely symbolic? Ferreted out?
hmmm... Perhaps we don't need a "T" to figure this one out.
((((((bent))))))
haven't heard from you in a while. Aside from hosting the Wild Kingdom in your computer room, how is the rest of life going?-Ll
Posted by bent on February 1, 2007, at 7:03:07
In reply to Re: I f'd up majorly, dont know what to do. » youngaddict, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 31, 2007, at 22:13:29
Yea there is some symbolism there. Granted my ferrets have walked across my laptop before but never sent a message! And to click on her of all the people on my IM. Maybe my ferrets feel I have been to distracted by therapy and that was their form of an intervention. ;-)
Posted by bent on February 1, 2007, at 7:06:53
In reply to Re: I f'd up majorly, dont know what to do., posted by youngaddict on January 31, 2007, at 20:40:59
Thanks. I think my mind really ran away with me when this happened. Its no so much the IM incident as it is feeling ashamed for even having her on my buddy list. Thanks for helping me keep reality in sight.
Posted by bent on February 1, 2007, at 7:12:01
In reply to Re: I f'd up majorly, dont know what to do. » bent, posted by Poet on January 31, 2007, at 20:28:48
Thanks Poet. I am sure my panic sorta ran away with me yesterday about this. I just feel dumb and embarassed for even having her on my IM. I feel like I have disrepected my T. This will probably hang with me until I talk to my t about it. I dont know how soon that will be though.
Posted by one woman cine on February 1, 2007, at 8:02:54
In reply to I f'd up majorly, dont know what to do., posted by bent on January 31, 2007, at 20:08:33
You aren't a freak and there is no reason to be ashamed but you do need to tell her. Maybe you can both come a resolution about this.
It's scary to think as a consequence will be to lose your T, that may or may not happen though.
I think that if you don't tell her, it will interfere with the therapy and therapy is about you, not the therapist. Either way, good luck.
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