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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by nychick on February 5, 2007, at 5:57:59
Hello! I came to these boards for help with dealing with my feelings regarding my therapist, I see I am not the only one going thru this THANK GOD! I feel like such an idiot because I am rational, straight chick who has her s**t together for the most part!! Here is the story, I am about to get married to my man of 7 years, and I have been in couples therapy for about 2 months with an almost therapist (she is graduating this spring as a real doc) the therapy is really working for both of us, my man and I simply wanted some pre-marital counseling to work out some issues regarding his pain in the a** family and how we will deal with them, not to mention our bit of an adult/child relationship. (I am your over achiever and he is a laid back, whatever type) Anyhow, he is my best friend and I really want to see us together in the long haul and do, we are to be married in 9 months and we are excited, except that my adorable therapist has awakened something inside me that I am so scared to discuss with my man, let alone her!! She is almost exactly my age and she is sooo damn cute and sweet, and I just want to hug her every time I see her, but I hide my feelings well and no one would ever know I feel this way, especially her. When we are in session, I am totally focused on what I need to be with my man, but when I leave, I find myself really thinking about her all the time. I have also never known myself to be bi- or bi curious or gay, although I have thought about experimenting with a woman lightly in the midst of my cold feet pre wedding. (I told my man that and of course he finds it hot) anyhow, I never honestly can think about a woman sexually with me, I have always loved the sausage, but something about this girl (therapist) is soo different. She is like sexually attractive AND emotionally beautiful all wrapped in one, like if I were to ever fantasize about a TRULY real and complete lesbian relationship it would be with someone like her. I didn't think that existed and as a straight woman, I never thought I would ever "fall" for a woman like it feels like I have, only maybe be attracted to one for a one night fling etc. So, how do I wane my feelings and thoughts for her when we aren't in session?? How do I deal with this?? It has been a bit explored with the 3 of us that she may come to our wedding, which would be great, I would love to be friends with her someday. We end our therapy in May and I am sad but excited at the same time, as since she won't be treating us anymore, there is a possibility of friendship down the road. Then again, I might just be wishfully thinking. Of course the ultimate fantasy would be to explore my attraction for her someday for real, physically, but since I am not the cheating type and she is most likely straight?? probably would never happen. Ok, so HELP!!! How do I deal with these feelings? Do I SAY something to her, to my man? I don't want to quit therapy, I'd rather have her professional help than nothing from her... ?? CONFUSED!! How can this happen to a normal straight chick like me?? I wish we hadn't been assigned such a CUTE gal now!!! But it was beyond our control... she is just soo cute!! AGHH!!!
Posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 11:34:56
In reply to I am falling in love with my therapist too!, posted by nychick on February 5, 2007, at 5:57:59
Hi, I am Muffled, welcome to babble.
I have not seen you here before.
It can be a good place of support.
Lots here. Boards and stuff. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
I am sorry to hear you got T-love probs.
Kinda fun to have those feelings in a way I reckon.
Titillating, exiting, intense.
I suspect it comes up alot cuz of the very nature of the T relationship. It IS intense, up close and personal. If not physically naked, we emotionally naked sometimes. Yup, its something all right.....
So I think having sexual feelings come up is not strange, but I am inclined to think they should not be encouraged. I think that there will only be hurt in the end.
Sorta like high school crush on teacher. Its so intense, so HOT, but not a good thing to actually fufill. And so it is let go and eventually forgotten. And its not 1/10 as intense as T relationship.
So while the feelings are real, I think they are also not real, if that makes sense.
You sound like a very pleasant person, I hope you have a wonderful marriage, congrats!
Muffled
Posted by widget on February 5, 2007, at 12:09:38
In reply to Re: I am falling in love with my therapist too! » nychick, posted by muffled on February 5, 2007, at 11:34:56
Please tell her how you feel. Therapy is about being emotionally honest. I don't think you will be able to progress without talking to her about your feelings. I know it's hard and you may not be ready yet. But, keep it as an option.
Posted by happykat on February 6, 2007, at 15:46:13
In reply to I am falling in love with my therapist too!, posted by nychick on February 5, 2007, at 5:57:59
You might want to check out the book "In Session" by Deborah Lott. There are alot of reasons one might fall in love with their therapist. Most have nothing to do with the therapist and more to do with significant relationships from your past, typically your parents.
I think you will find this book very helpful in sorting out some of your feelings. Discussing this with your therapist also seems to help. It generally lessens the feelings.
Good luck with therapy and congratulations on your wedding.
Regards,
happykat :)
Posted by nychick on February 7, 2007, at 2:52:17
In reply to Re: I am falling in love with my therapist too!, posted by widget on February 5, 2007, at 12:09:38
I have had a mini break thru! First thank you to the already replies I have had, I appreciate you all, and I really enjoy these boards... I am glad to have found this site!! Well, I went to therapy as usual on Monday with my man and when I looked at my so called "crush" my mind completely reverted back to she's my therapist and that's it!! We had a successful, but intense session which involved talking only about my man and I's issues, (were in couples therapy) but she pissed me off because she kept misinterpreting me, which did well to keep me steered away from my inappropriate feelings for her... That session got my mind turning all day yesterday and I had a long talk with my man tonite about, not my secret crush on the therapist, but on my bisexual curiosities, and it was so wonderful! My man was SOOOO supportive of me, in a good way not the typical "I'm a guy and I love the thought of you with another chick how hot, ha ha." He was kind and sensitive and said if I wanted to explore that option with or without him, that he would support me in anyway, never leave me out of jealousy etc, unless I wanted to leave him. I told him that I am in love with him but that I would like to possibly just see what happens, and if I did "try things" with another woman, that I would be sure to include him in all ways I could. (emotional and possibly physical) I think it took our comminucation to a whole other height and almost made me feel free and not this pre-marital trapped woman who is freaking out cuz I am going to be married soon which means, STAMP I am dead! LOL. (can you tell I have never been married before??) My man and I have been together for 7 years and he is a GREAT guy and the way we talked tonite makes him even GREATER than I expected. I feel liberated and YES NOW we together, will tell the therapist next session that I have BI curiosities but I will not mention they would be for her or with her... but I am interested in her reaction, at least for fantasy, lol. I think her jaw is going to hit the floor, lol, (she is young/my age/in training) and I think that is the last thing that she is expecting to hear from us. It would be hot if we all had a 3 way session all right, without clothes, ha ha, but I know realistically that is very wrong and I am a rational gal. What I did get from all this, is that my man has made it safe for me to have attractions out there in the real world, that I don't have to limit myself to just the therapist now, lol... THAT is even hotter!!! So, would you all like me to post what happens next session when I "out" myself to my therapist with my man by my side??? LOVE YOU ALL! NYCHICK
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