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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Happyflower on May 4, 2007, at 20:23:06
He was really great with me. I told him how stressed out I have been with school. I am trying so hard to do well and now I feel I have to prove myself to myself that I can do it. But maybe I have too high of expectations of myself. But I keep achieving , but it is making me a basket case. I hate to see what grad school is like.
He told me that it is understandable how stressed I am because I have a lot going on and finals is just one of those stressful times. But I need to find another way to vent my stress. Exercise didn't help this time, it just made me even more tired and exhausted. My family doctor finally gave me some Xanax, and it works well, especially before my final exams. I was still able to think clearly and didnt' have my mind go blank. I am looking forward to seeing if it will help me musically when I have to perform next week. I think it will still work for me because I only take it once in a while.My T seems to really understand me, I think we are so alike in a lot of ways. My family doctor said I will still want to achieve in school, so that won't go away (which is good), so I just need to learn how to deal with excess stress. Sex used to be a wonderful vent, but I don't have that anymore.
I asked my T if he thinks I can live the way I am , without anyone special in my life, because I said my life sucks. Well he said I have a lot of good things going in my life and life isn't a sh*t sandwich. He is right, but I just yearn for someone to love me and to love someone in a romantic way. I miss that. But he said I am doing what is best for me right now, so it was nice for him to remind me of that. He looked so sad when he said that.
Posted by Happyflower on May 4, 2007, at 20:59:08
In reply to I saw my T last week, posted by Happyflower on May 4, 2007, at 20:23:06
I also wanted to add that we talked about not making another appointment, just to have me call as needed. (his idea) I didn't know about that , I did make an appointment in month. I wonder if I don't have to terminate officially, that I can just call him when I need him.
This could be a good idea, because there are things in my life that can go to hell really fast, like my marriage. Or what if my mom shows up at my door? My grandma (my mom's mom) wrote me a letter over Easter. I just wish they would leave me alone. I am doing really good in a lot of ways, but things could change due to circumstances. Like my husband's employer just fired 20 employees this week ( the company who bought out). Thankfully my DH is safe so far.
So maybe it is a good idea just to see him only when I feel like I need a boost or something, or if something comes up. Has anyone ever heard of this before?
Posted by wishingstar on May 4, 2007, at 21:39:18
In reply to Re: I saw my T last week, posted by Happyflower on May 4, 2007, at 20:59:08
That's basically the situation I have with Laurie, the therapist in the city I grew up in. I saw her for about a year in high school, for a summer at some point during college, and for this past summer.. but also probably half a dozen other sessions mixed in over the years when I needed her. Most of the drop-in sessions during college were just visits to catch up and update her. Here in the last 6 months though, I've seen her 3 or 4 times when I've really been desperate for her help, even though I'm seeing another T regularly down here. Like today.. I'm debating leaving my current T, so I went and saw Laurie to talk about it. There's no plan for another appointment now, but there's never really a goodbye or sense that "it's over". We just leave it open. It makes me feel good and safe to know that shes still available and there. For me, it works out well.
I'm not sure if that really helps. I dont know how to advise you about your situation as I think it varies so much by individual and by therapeutic relationship. Laurie and I have a special understanding that was never planned.. it just sort of happened. That's my experience anyway. I'd talk to him about it. Given the relationship you've described you all having, it seems like he might be okay with that too.
Posted by Happyflower on May 4, 2007, at 21:53:21
In reply to Re: I saw my T last week, posted by wishingstar on May 4, 2007, at 21:39:18
Thanks wishingstar,
I think maybe the relationship would work well that way. He never said I couldnt' make an extra appointment during termination but I tried not too and sometimes that is stressful in itself. I kinda like the idea to just make an appointment when I feel like it, maybe it might be once a week for a month, maybe 2 months might go by. I guess the only thing I am worried about is sometimes he is really booked up and I would have to wait a week.
Maybe something in him is changing how he feels about our theraputic relationship. Or maybe it reverse psych he is doing. Because when he really pressured me, it made me resist even more and kinda made me upset that he was sort of forcing it on me. But when he stopped pressuring me, I actually cancelled my appointment with him because I had nothing new to talk about and I was so busy with school.
I don't know maybe therapy will just sort of die on its own. Maybe me and him will suddenly realize that it has been months since I have seen him. hmmm. But then I see him at the gym too, so that is another element. That situation has gotten more friendly and comfortable between us. It seems that when he let down his "professional " guard about everyone seeing us talking at the gym, and relaxed, knowing that I talk to almost everyone there, that me talking to him really doesn't "show" that I know him from somewhere else. He has changed at the gym and it makes me feel more relaxed seeing him now.
I feel I can even go up and talk a little to him, and I don't worry about him worrying about it. Plus I keep convesations short and can tell when he doesn't want to talk, and I leave him alone then. Sorry this is so long. I am glad you are helping me think this all out!
Posted by Poet on May 5, 2007, at 11:15:38
In reply to Re: I saw my T last week, posted by Happyflower on May 4, 2007, at 20:59:08
Hi Happyflower,
It sounds to me like your T is leaving the door open that it's okay to come see him or call him if you need to. My T has said that she sees some people on an occassional basis, so maybe it's not that unusual.
Sorry things are going to hell fast, though, you made it through school and that gives you an A+ in my grading book. I'm obsessed with getting As and my T is obsessed with telling me that I don't have to be perfect. Oh, yes I do, but anyway...
Poet
Posted by Happyflower on May 5, 2007, at 14:32:18
In reply to Re: I saw my T last week » Happyflower, posted by Poet on May 5, 2007, at 11:15:38
Hi Poet,
Things COULD go to hell fast but they haven't yet, but the potential is still there.
About college, I found I have 2 A pluses, so now another standard, right? Does just an A good enough, or do I need A plusses now. LOL It never ends! I am still waiting on my other grade, I keep checking the college website to see every couple of hours. It is killing me!
LOL I guess it can be obsession, but my family doc said it is more like being competivive, and getting into a grad school is VERY competitive, and the ones who are working hard, and doing well, are the ones who will have a bigger choice when it comes to attending one. He would know right?
I am not sure about my T . 2 sessions ago I said that I was really going to miss him and he made a joke out of it, "like where are you going?", so I wonder if HE is having issues, I know that T's do, but oh well. I think I like the idea. Or maybe he thinks I am hopeless ( a joke) lol. Well I guess I will soon find out in 3 weeks. I am having fun now that school is out! I feel like a kid again!
This is the end of the thread.
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