![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on May 5, 2007, at 10:13:29
I miss my T.
WHAT is it about weekends???????????????????
I am all grown. All week I do just fine (well sort of), but I do not phone T. Then weekend comes and I CAN'T phone T, and it just bugs the hell outta me.
I am SUCH a moron. Why do I let this happen, why do I get so stressed.
And this last week after T, I been in complete denial, and I BELEIVE it of myself. But then it goes wrong. I thot I was fine. I confabulated ALL. That really I just a nut being nutty, but everything is just fine if I stop thinking so much, that I think too much.
But its crumbling.
I NOT gonna say NOTHING in next T session.
Screw that.
I gonna sit there in a snit and say nothing.
Cuz its all fake.
Unconditional acceptance is just her job.
Safety does not exist. She say she maintains safe space. But thats crap. Soons I go i not safe anymore. I am never safe....from MYOWNSELF. From my T even, she gonna hurt me I just know it.
My head is spinning.
Damn anyways.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on May 5, 2007, at 10:18:57
In reply to this T attachment thing SUCKS**rant**, posted by muffled on May 5, 2007, at 10:13:29
I can't live up to expectations of this unconditional acceptance.
The truth will out.
I a freak and T will not like me.
Or what if T too good to be true.
Mebbe she not nice.
Maybe SHE do bad things?
Maybe I just WANT her to be nice, so I make it so in my head?
I dunno whats true or not.
T is based on so much thats fake.
Fake relationship, fake acceptance.
Fake, fake, fake.
WHAT am I doing?
I CAN'T say stuff to T, she say I do good, proly cuz I say some stuff. But I SHOULDN'T say stuff, cuz I am NOT safe, she CANNOT protect me. WHERE is she NOW?????????????? GONE. I am on my own. SAfe space my *SS.
Posted by muffled on May 5, 2007, at 10:21:53
In reply to Re: this T attachment thing SUCKS**rant** » muffled, posted by muffled on May 5, 2007, at 10:18:57
Posted by Daisym on May 6, 2007, at 0:08:26
In reply to Re: this T attachment thing SUCKS**rant** » muffled, posted by muffled on May 5, 2007, at 10:18:57
I'm sorry you are hurting. I know this hurt too well. Separation anxiety can make us feel like we are disintegrating - melting away and they aren't there to stop it. What is it about the safety our therapists offer us that helps keep us together? But I believe that they do offer a safe space, and they are telling the truth to us about their caring. After all we've been through, don't you think we'd sense if they were lying to us? I can feel an unsafe person a thousand miles away. I bet you can too. And what would she have to gain by telling you that she is holding a safe place for you if she wasn't? Money doesn't seem like a good enough motivator.
No human is infallible. No one can control the universe, the weather or traffic. But risking this attachment is worth is. You want to feel better for your own kids. That is a huge incentive. Keep at it. You are doing great.
Posted by muffled on May 6, 2007, at 20:42:22
In reply to Re: this T attachment thing SUCKS**rant** » muffled, posted by Daisym on May 6, 2007, at 0:08:26
> I'm sorry you are hurting. I know this hurt too well. Separation anxiety can make us feel like we are disintegrating - melting away and they aren't there to stop it. What is it about the safety our therapists offer us that helps keep us together? But I believe that they do offer a safe space, and they are telling the truth to us about their caring. After all we've been through, don't you think we'd sense if they were lying to us? I can feel an unsafe person a thousand miles away. I bet you can too. And what would she have to gain by telling you that she is holding a safe place for you if she wasn't? Money doesn't seem like a good enough motivator.
**Aw heck Daisy, I mostly beleive she's real, but there's a part thats SO way scared. That trusts noone. Thats always waiting for the axe to fall. My T don't care bout money, I beleive that. Guess its just we challenging this wrong beleife I have "that if I talk, or am vulnerable, I will die' and the stuff that goes with it (eg -Therefore I must be very careful all the time etc etc). Guess thats got me rattled some.
>
> No human is infallible. No one can control the universe, the weather or traffic. But risking this attachment is worth is. You want to feel better for your own kids. That is a huge incentive. Keep at it. You are doing great.**(((My kids))) That is why I do it. But I scared. I don't understand attachment.
Sometimes I wonder whats the point of all this. Its too hard, but I GOT TO remember my kids. Thanks so much for the remider Daisy. My T does that, when I try to back off she pulls 'the kid card', she's clever bout it...
Daisy. I hope you don't die. Thanks for talking to me. I like you lots.
Muffled
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.