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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 10:31:53
as some of you know, my T is away on vacation. i am very sad about that.. :o( i need him right now. i don't have a super-strong attachment built yet, but it was getting there. i think his being away will set that back a bit.. i know myself enough to know he'll have to rebuild some stuff.
the voicemail thing went ok.. but it's deliberate, so it's a little weird. He had never done that before for someone and he is a very kind of responsive guy.. he found it a little hard to just make something up. He just doesn't know me well enough maybe... he has only ever once seen me anxious enough for him to visually tell and he has never seen me so overwhelmed that it spills over my walls you know?
thing is though... i phoned him the last day and i asked him a question, something important to me.. i asked him about something that i lose sight of when things are hard, my internal compass disappears... and he responded to that question in a voicemail that was PERFECT. It gave me the tool i need. The words are an affirmation of validation i can hold onto, and his voice and flow are the natural way he speaks... and the bonus is that is has some of that tone i wanted. i needed there to be some of that soft, soothing tone to comfort my emotional side.
so i skip the one he left before and listen to that one.
a lot of you know life is a little more than complicated for me right now. Events dreaded are here for real. No idea how things will unfold. Escape & avoid.
needing lots of good vibes
Posted by Dinah on May 20, 2007, at 10:41:31
In reply to Let me be the first to whine... T is away :o(, posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 10:31:53
Not sure if my energy level would generate vibrations, but I am thinking of you and wishing you well. I was wondering how things went with you.
My therapist was kind of anxious about the relaxation tape, and it shows in the first little while, but since it was something he does all the time, he settled down. But I can see where a spontaneous message would contain more of the real him. I'm glad you have that.
Posted by peddidle on May 20, 2007, at 12:14:20
In reply to Let me be the first to whine... T is away :o(, posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 10:31:53
I'm glad you got what you needed from him. But even moreso, I'm glad you were able to ASK for what you needed from him. It sounds like he tried his best, even if you didn't get exactly what you wanted the first time. You've found the courage to tell him when you need something, and hopefully that courage will spill over into other aspects of your therapy. Now you know he is very receptive to your needs, and you can feel free to ask him for something when you need it.
Good job!
Posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 18:31:50
In reply to Re: Let me be the first to whine... T is away :o( » gazo, posted by Dinah on May 20, 2007, at 10:41:31
i don't think he has ever done relaxtion tapes or anything.. hmmm.. probably has done that stuff with clients in office though. the "real" message really makes me feel connected to him more.
Posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 18:38:44
In reply to Re: Let me be the first to whine... T is away :o(, posted by peddidle on May 20, 2007, at 12:14:20
you'd think that wouldn't you? ;o) i'm not sure just what went through my mind for me to call and ask him for that message.. not sure how i made myself ask at all. It was quite out of character. It's hazy. It's not something i could easily do again. But you are very right, i DID do it once and he DID respond quite well. it is very reinforcing.
Posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 19:20:29
In reply to Let me be the first to whine... T is away :o(, posted by gazo on May 20, 2007, at 10:31:53
"hi X, this is Y and i am sorry to bother you again but i was wondering if you could answer a question for me before you leave for the day... i need to know if this is wrong... i want to know what you think. i have trouble thinking clearly from the inside, when things get bad and messy and frightening. i lose whatever internal rationalization i have. i end up a wreck. i am hoping you can give me something external to hang onto and focus on. Some kind of validation about what i have been telling you. i end up feeling like i am overreacting, exaggerating and that it's not all that bad. If you could give me some feedback maybe i could hold onto that."
"hi Y, it' X. obviously i got your message..... **YES. It's as bad as you think.** Actually, in some ways one might say that from the outside it almost looks worse because in the middle of it you can understandably dismiss it. [insert long description of justifications] Anyone in your situation would find it intolerable and it would begin to overwhelm them.. so, absolutely.. you are not over-emphasizing at all. i hope this is helpful Please take care"
This is the end of the thread.
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