![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by muffled on July 21, 2007, at 22:44:12
I was reading a book, and it says 'that you haven't lived until you've looked deeply into a womans eyes in the flickering firelight.' Or something like that.
I can't let anyone look into my eyes like that.
I afraid of what they might see I guess.
The whole sex thing way messes me anyhow.
But anyways, do MOST people get to have that with sex d'ya think? Or is it more commonly just an act of sex?
The connection thing sounds lovely, but fairytaleish. My T says she get tears in eyes when she 'with' hubby, of happiness at being so close.
I dunno if I can ever have that.
Which means my hubby don't get to either :-(
I feel real bad bout it all.
But I cannot even begin to imagine I would ever be able to do that :-(
Whats you guys say?
M
Posted by slugdoo on July 22, 2007, at 9:02:47
In reply to sex/intimacy common or not?, posted by muffled on July 21, 2007, at 22:44:12
I just dont know Muffy. I know I have felt and seen that during the act and especially outside o the act, but I don't have that now.
But I haven't experienced that with all of my boyfriends either, so I am sure there are a lot of factors.
But it can happen, and maybe to you too, when you are ready. It is a very nice feeling though. I hope you can have someday. I wish I had it now.
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2007, at 11:43:58
In reply to sex/intimacy common or not?, posted by muffled on July 21, 2007, at 22:44:12
My thought is there's more than one path to follow. There really would have to be, wouldn't there? People are just too different to make generalizatons.
I think that if you care about your husband, and that if you offer what you can offer with love, then intimacy is there. Especially if that love extends out of the bedroom and he feels it in a million small ways in your life together.
Posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 14:46:18
In reply to sex/intimacy common or not?, posted by muffled on July 21, 2007, at 22:44:12
Unfortunately for me, sex was just sex and no intimacy. After a time I would tire of the person. Intimacy seemed like there should be sex with it, but I never could have sex with someone I really loved. I think the csa has something to do with this. No, I know it does.
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 1:45:31
In reply to Re: sex/intimacy common or not? » muffled, posted by slugdoo on July 22, 2007, at 9:02:47
> I just dont know Muffy. I know I have felt and seen that during the act and especially outside o the act, but I don't have that now.
> But I haven't experienced that with all of my boyfriends either, so I am sure there are a lot of factors.
> But it can happen, and maybe to you too, when you are ready. It is a very nice feeling though. I hope you can have someday. I wish I had it now.**Yeah, I doubt I will have it. Poor hubby of mine.
I hope you can have it again SD, you deserve it.
M
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 1:47:46
In reply to Re: sex/intimacy common or not? » muffled, posted by Dinah on July 22, 2007, at 11:43:58
> My thought is there's more than one path to follow. There really would have to be, wouldn't there? People are just too different to make generalizatons.
**yeah...
>
> I think that if you care about your husband, and that if you offer what you can offer with love, then intimacy is there. Especially if that love extends out of the bedroom and he feels it in a million small ways in your life together.**I don't offer much...
I kinda have shut the poor man out :-(
Hope you doing a little better these days dinah, sounds like its going OK w/your T?
Take care,
M
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 1:48:29
In reply to Re: sex/intimacy common or not? » muffled, posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 14:46:18
Posted by sunnydays on July 24, 2007, at 21:35:53
In reply to sex/intimacy common or not?, posted by muffled on July 21, 2007, at 22:44:12
Well, I've never even had a boyfriend and come from a family where I have really messed-up parents, but my perception is that commonly sex is just an act. In our culture now, it's getting harder and harder to have true emotional intimacy with anyone, which is what I think you're getting at. Plenty of people are physically intimate, but emotional intimacy is a whole nother ballgame, I think.
sunnydays
Posted by muffled on July 24, 2007, at 23:00:33
In reply to Re: sex/intimacy common or not? » muffled, posted by sunnydays on July 24, 2007, at 21:35:53
Posted by Sigismund on July 25, 2007, at 1:34:45
In reply to Re: sex/intimacy common or not? » muffled, posted by sunnydays on July 24, 2007, at 21:35:53
Sexual intimacy is valued because it is rare.
But this
>'that you haven't lived until you've looked deeply into a womans eyes in the flickering firelight.'
is, of course, pure cliche.I can't even feel sexual desire without emotional tenderness.
How often in life can we make someone else happy?
Not too bloody often, though I've done it a few times.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.