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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maria01 on July 22, 2007, at 20:35:53
Hey All-
Thought I would post an update. Things are going well with the new T; she seems to be on the ball, empathetic, and has her act together. As for my ex-T, well....It's been almost two months since she terminated me, and looking back, it's for the better. She was not very emotionally stable; her mood swings were worse than mine; she would alternate between being warm and empathetic, and cold and remote. I never knew what I would be walking in to. Her attitude seemed to be tied to what I had said or done, and I refused to play the People Pleaser game to try to get her to revert back to being empathetic. She would go thru periods of being snappy, abrupt, and coarse with no explanation, and would get defensive when I would question her about it. There were times when her eyes would go from kind and understanding to stone cold. Very strange. No one in my life had ever acted like that. She had also told me of two times when she hurt one of her sons a long time ago when they were young(she shook one of them when he spilled juice on a new shirt. He was about 2) and how she shook the family cat several years ago when it shed on some clean laundry. This is someone who has been in her own therapy for years!
She was an intern and very green. I let the fact the she was middle-aged(and therefore more mature than a younger intern) fool me into thinking she had her act together. After all, she had been in her own therapy for quite some time. I was so wrong.She said she would have the utmost patience with me; she lost patience. She said there was no hurry; there was indeeed a time table. She said she wasn't going anywhere. Of course not; I was the one tossed like dirty laundry. I thought I had a say in the situation but I didn't. (Cautionary note: If you are working with an intern, your say in the therapy is very limitied. You are nothing but a "case" to be discussed in supervision, and if the intern's supervisor says "jump", the intern asks "How high?" If a supervisor wants an intern's client gone, that client is gone...)
I can hold my head high, though. I was always very clear about what I wanted and needed, didn't hesitate to ask questions, didn't hesitate to be direct with her, always expressed appreciation for her(when we weren't at each other's throats) and did the best I could as a client. I go by my own timetable, no one else's.
My moods have been better than they have in a long time. Looking back, I was really unstable with this T; my moods would ricochet in response to hers. I felt worse about myself when I worked with her, as a rule.
The past few weeks with my new T have mostly focused on "de-toxing" from the old T, and processing the crappy termination I got. I can't wait until this is out of my system; there are others things in life I want to deal with, but can't do much about it until I completely process things I went thru with the old T. I'm just grateful the new T isn't an intern. I'm tired of being the mistake that people learn from.
Please wish me luck with my new T; I don't think I can handle another unstable one like my ex-T.
P.S. Do yourselves a huge favor and save yourselves a lot of heartache. If you are working with a T that seems to be emotionally unstable, unpredictable, overwhemled, or otherwise ill-equipped to be in the profession, get out and find a more suitable T.
Posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 21:54:12
In reply to Update: Kinda Long..., posted by Maria01 on July 22, 2007, at 20:35:53
Maria
I am so glad you seem to have found a new T and are getting over the old one. Yes, there are bad therapists out there. And, they are not all interns. My last psychaitrist was a horrible therapist for me. He did some of the same sorts of things yours did. He could be warm and understanding and then hostile and nasty and biting and then cold and distant. I don't know what was going on with him, but I sure got worse seeing him. And as you know, I even ended up doing ECT.
I am in a bad way right now, not so anxious but depressed. I think I will feel better at work and away from my husband--too much conflict with him, and I don't need it.
I am really glad for you. I did a lot of the same with my new therapist initially. We had to deal with my hurt re losing my old therapist. Even though I quit him, he had tried to quit on me before, and I could see it was leading up to that again.
OzLand
Posted by Maria01 on July 22, 2007, at 22:21:33
In reply to Re: Update: Kinda Long... » Maria01, posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 21:54:12
Thanks for the good words.
I've hears so many bad therapists stories on Babble and elsewhere. It makes me wonder if the graduate programs have any kind of screening process to weed out those who have no business being T's to begin with. Really makes me wonder....
Posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 23:03:14
In reply to Re: Update: Kinda Long..., posted by Maria01 on July 22, 2007, at 22:21:33
Unfortunately I don't think programs do much to weed someone out who does not belong there once that person is in the program.
I know of psychiatric residents who have no business going into psychiatry. I know psychiatrists who have no business working with patients. I know psychologists who have no business working with people, and I know social workers who have no business working with people.
There are good and bad therapists whether they be psychiatrists, psychologists, or social workers. The mental health field unfortunately is no better than any other field--good and bad attornies, good and bad engineers, auto mechanics, you name it.
OzLand
Posted by muffled on July 23, 2007, at 1:24:56
In reply to Update: Kinda Long..., posted by Maria01 on July 22, 2007, at 20:35:53
Posted by Maria01 on July 23, 2007, at 9:42:26
In reply to Re: Update: Kinda Long... » Maria01, posted by OzLand on July 22, 2007, at 23:03:14
That's the impression I'm getting, as well. It's too bad, too. People's mental health and well-being are sometimes at stake when it comes to mental health professionals.
ONe of my relatives is a retired clinical psychologist who also supervised interns. She didn't hesistate to tell an intern to find another line of work/speciality if she felt they would do harm to people as a therapist...I think that's something that needs to be done.IN some cases, though, the supervisor is just as screwed up as the intern they're supervising..scary.
Posted by TherapyGirl on July 23, 2007, at 18:51:56
In reply to Update: Kinda Long..., posted by Maria01 on July 22, 2007, at 20:35:53
Sounds like you have made the best of a bad situation. And your new T sounds very promising. Way to hang in there and take care of yourself, Maria!
Posted by Maria01 on July 23, 2007, at 19:47:10
In reply to Re: Update: Kinda Long... » Maria01, posted by TherapyGirl on July 23, 2007, at 18:51:56
Time will tell..I really do hope it's a match. Having to "de-tox" from my ex-T is really hard, though. I'm being extra vigilant, because I don't want it to happen again...
Posted by OzLand on July 23, 2007, at 22:56:01
In reply to Re: Update: Kinda Long..., posted by Maria01 on July 23, 2007, at 9:42:26
Oh I agree with you 100%. I supervised as student whose problems were interfering with her ability to do her job. I told her that I thought she should take a break from school and come back later and try again. She did it, and I think it was wise of her or she would have washed out of her program.
With my job, I do evaluations for the court, and so I see 99% of the people I see only one time. It is rare to see them more than once. I do the evaluation; I have discovery materials; I have other records; I do my interview ans psych testing and then write up my report, and so it is ideal for me trying to deal with my stuff. I already said to my T that I think I would have trouble trying to do thearapy right now. He did not respond, but I think I know myself well enough. And, for me testifying in court is a challenge. I kind of like it; yep I am nuts.
Posted by Maria01 on July 24, 2007, at 10:19:53
In reply to Re: Update: Kinda Long... » Maria01, posted by OzLand on July 23, 2007, at 22:56:01
Your line of work sounds interesting!
That was wise of that student to take a break...she'll be much better for it. Too bad more interns don't so that same thing. I wish my ex-T would have...would have saved myself a lot of aggravation.
But yeah..looking ahead and hoping new T has her act together =)
This is the end of the thread.
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